


Don't Ask Me When, Don't Ask Me Why

by TheLostViking



Category: VIXX
Genre: M/M, keo - Freeform, taekwhan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 17:56:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 46,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8294869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLostViking/pseuds/TheLostViking
Summary: Jaehwan meets Taekwoon again two years after a party where they may or may not have kissed.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on AFF. THIS IS AN EDITED VERSION EXCLUSIVE TO AO3.

Despite being a college student, Jaehwan does not visit the many pubs surrounding his school very often. It was the sudden impulsive thought that he deserved a night out after finishing his midterms exams successfully that had him leave his stuffy dorm room without a word to his older roommate, Hakyeon, and entering the first pub he could find.

And now; drinking a beer by the bar and starting to regret his decision. What a waste of time and money, he thinks to himself. He’s bored, his beer nothing impressive; too washed out and tasting worse than he could remember. Still, he finishes a glass and orders a whiskey to speed things up. Might as well make it fun while he’s there, he thinks as the whiskey burns his mouth and warms his core.

Turning his chair to look around, he thinks he has chosen a good location at least; not too crowded but still not too quiet. Lazily he watches customers play pool, talk to friends and strangers, flirting, kissing and drinking. All the while he slowly sips his drink, hand around the glass as he rests it on the bar behind him between his long breaks between the sips.

He turns the chair to a full circle and his eyes end up resting on a figure sitting in a corner where bar meets the wall. A lamp is off, or not working, so the man in sitting in a shadow; face not showing and body hunching over the bar.

There’s a very faint recognition to the figure, and his mind almost tingles. There’s some kind of memory that is trying to make its way out but Jaehwan can’t pinpoint it. He ends up staring instead, not realizing how creepy it must look. The man is basically invisible where he sits in the dark with his dark clothing and half long hair hanging into his face, but the faint twinkling of several rings on his fingers gives him away where his hand rests around his glass of drink within the lights illuminating the bar.

Jaehwan tries to will his memory into remembering while he waits for the other’s face to become visible. If he only would look up from his drink, it would be possible perhaps.

Head looks up, hand lifts up the drink, drink comes up to the mouth and he tilts his head to pour out the rest of the liquid. Face visible; Jaehwan’s memory comes back to him like a flash flood.

Two years ago. Hakyeon’s party that was held at his friend’s house because he was a local resident compared to all the friends in their group; who all live in on-campus dorms with strict rules of no alcohol. Jaehwan’s first experience with alcohol; underage and way too full of energy for one half of the party, then crashing down to an exhausted blob of misery after. It was the day he figured being drunk only makes him anxious.

The friend who owned the apartment ended up stuck with listening to Jaehwan talk until he fell asleep in his lap and woke up alone in the morning.

He had a memory from that night; one that he had spent the last two years pondering upon if it was a dream or a memory. The vision of the guy leaning down from where he sat above him, Jaehwan’s head in his lap, and giving him the sweetest of kisses and eyes that spoke of longing. It’s the only memory from the party he had that seemed clear; but he was also not sure that meant it was a dream.

No witnesses, no proof. And he had not met the guy again after.

But here he is.

“Taekwoon.” He whispers, baffled, too low for anyone to hear.

It takes him several minutes to gather courage, but eventually he leaves his seat to go sit beside the other. A start rocks through Taekwoon when he notices Jaehwan beside him, then he turns and looks at him for a moment.

“Jaehwan.” He says, calmly. As if he met him yesterday as well. Before Jaehwan could say anything first. He splutters for a moment, then asks: “You remember me?” Taekwoon nods with a thoughtful expression.

“You told me about you dead dog.” He says with a very blank face. Jaehwan can vaguely remember that face being one of the few he would make. And he had hadn’t he; told him all sorts of stuff that night.

“Of all the things I told you that night, that’s the part you remember?” He asks. Taekwoon only blinks.

“It was really sad.”

Jaehwan huffs, almost laughing but only shrugging. “I guess it was.”

There is a slight pause between them; Jaehwan wiggling uncomfortably in his seat and playing with the empty glass of whiskey in his hands, ice still not all melted, Taekwoon calmly sipping a new drink he ordered before Jaehwan got there. Jaehwan orders a refill.

“Do you...” He ponders on his wording, which is very unlike him. “Do you remember anything else?”

Taekwoon looks at him again, squinting a little – making Jaehwan’s face fall into a quick frown.

“Why?”

Jaehwan sweats under his shirt. He doesn’t want to ask so directly, but is left with no choice under the pressure of the other.

“I just... I was wondering...” He hesitates once again; really embarrassed because what if it really was just a dream and he will make a complete fool of himself?

“Did we kiss?” He rushes out. He pinches his eyes closed, only one kept barely open to watch the other. Taekwoon snorts, looking unimpressed. “You don’t remember?” He asks. Jaehwan shakes his head, pouting a little without realizing.

Taekwoon looks miffed. “I kissed you, but you fell asleep.”

Jaehwan instantly feels bad and winces.

“I thought maybe it was a dream. I remember it quite vividly, but the entire night is a haze. I didn’t trust my brain with it.” He admits and Taekwoon’s expression softens back to his blank state. “Sorry I fell asleep.” Jaehwan apologizes softly, blushes a little and hangs his head in embarrassment.

His breathing hitches when a hand comes to his neck and gives it a little rubbing for a few seconds, and then it’s gone again. The touch lingers like a tingle. He doesn’t look up and he feels a blush creep its way up to his face from his collar.

“I’m sure you can make up for it.”


	2. Two

Jaehwan was really hoping it would not become a habit this thing he was doing; doing stuff with Taekwoon while affected by alcohol.

Things being talking a lot.

Taekwoon soon warmed up to him and told him amusedly of all the things Jaehwan had told him that day 2 years ago and Jaehwan found himself lying on the bar several times, hiding his head from the world in pure agony, Taekwoon laughing wholeheartedly.

First time Jaehwan heard that laugh he stared way too hard for it to be normal, but he didn’t care; that laugh was something he wanted to hear all the time. It was the most beautiful thing he had heard in a very long time. Music to his ears; and that was a musical major speaking.

Two more glasses of whiskey each later; a little drunken and both of them turning giggly, feeling better than in a long time.

“How come I haven’t seen you since that day?” Jaehwan asks. Taekwoon shrugs. “I go to the local community college. Hakyeon and I don’t really talk much.”

“You mean _you_ don’t talk much. I can’t imagine Hakyeon not trying to contact you.”

“I’ve been really busy, and so has he.” He says simply. “We message sometimes.” He finished the last of his drink and shoves it away, signaling he’s had enough. Jaehwan does the same, the last sip too watered out by the melted ice. A proper bar would use ice that didn’t melt, he thought for a quick moment.

Jaehwan knew Hakyeon had been very busy, especially this semester since it was his last. Even as his roommate Jaehwan did not see him too often.

“Are you graduating this year as well?” He remembers being told Taekwoon is the same age as Hakyeon; two years older than himself. Taekwoon shakes his head. “I changed majors halfway. Still have one more semester to go after this one.”

He looks very sleepy at this point, laying his head on a makeshift pillow made by his arms on the bar and eyes kept on Jaehwan. Jaehwan copies the action and they watch each other quietly.

The bar floats away and there’s only them in the room.

“What’s your major” He asks, voice slightly muffled by his chin being squished onto his arm. It’s strangely comfortable being like this, he realizes and shuffles closer to the other to make sure he can hear his softer tone when he answers.

“Pre-school teacher.”

“That’s adorable.” Jaehwan exclaims and the other hides his face in his arms in embarrassment, making Jaehwan laugh much louder than necessary.

“You?” Taekwoon resurfaces after gathering himself with several cute huffs into his arm-cradle and tries to shift the attention away. Jaehwan takes the bait willingly.

“Musical major.” He says proudly, and he sees the immediate awe in the other – always so satisfying whenever that happened. He had worked hard to get there, after all.

“You sing?”

“Almost 24 hours a day.” Jaehwan grins jokingly, though it wasn’t far from true. He was always either singing or talking. A walking, talking record player as his friend Wonshik would call him.

“Sing something.” Taekwoon demands and Jaehwan notices for something that has to be the 20th time how intense his eyes are when he’s simply watching him. There was just something about them that seemed so…demanding. He shook his head.

“Not here. And whiskey messes with my throat.” He excuses himself. “Another time, I promise.” He holds out a pinky. Taekwoon takes it lazily, but he’s pouting and Jaehwan thinks it looks too adorable to be real. He had never thought him the type to pout.

The promise is made and Jaehwan is sure it will not be two years until next time they meet.

They take another moment then, eyes hazed and minds heavy from alcohol, to just look at each other. Several flashes of memory from the party had returned to Jaehwan so far, and he remembers now that they did this that time as well. Jaehwan’s head in Taekwoon’s lap; Jaehwan looked up, Taekwoon looked down, and they just looked at each other in silence. Despite the sounds of the bar full of life and talking and music. They were in their own little space, it seemed.

Taekwoon closes his eyes after a few minutes and for Jaehwan the spell breaks; suddenly the place is very loud. He sees Taekwoon flinch and thinks he must have had a similar experience. Frowning; the other sits up and stretches his arms up in the air before he lets them fall down heavily. Jaehwan straightens in his seat as well, turns towards Taekwoon and waits for him to say that he’s leaving.

He doesn’t want him to leave, but he won’t tell him that.

“Can I have your number?” He asks instead. Taekwoon nods and fumbles with his jacket that had been resting in his lap like a blanket over his legs. He takes out a phone and hands it over silently, then starts putting on his jacket. Jaehwan gets up and takes the phone, opens it because it doesn’t have any lock – the background a picture of some mountain he did not know, but it was beautiful – and types in his number. He saves it and locks the phone, waiting for the other to finish struggling with the jacket and take it back.

“Message me when you want to hang out again.” Jaehwan says, giving the other the opportunity to leave it be and never talk to him again. He didn’t get his number after all, only gave his own. Feeling strangely confident; he thinks he will send a message.

Taekwoon finally gets his jacket into place and zipped up.

“I will.” He says with a slight smile and Jaehwan thinks of their kiss. Taekwoon reaches for the phone Jaehwan is holding towards him. Their fingers brush and a shock hits Jaehwan for a quick second.

Just static.

But his heart is beating. Eyes flash to Taekwoon’s and they pause for just one more moment. Jaehwan stops breathing.

“Nice to see you again.” Taekwoon breaks the moment, takes his hand and phone back and walks away.

“Bye.” Jaehwan says, most likely too low for the other to hear.

\--

He comes home to the apartment feeling exhausted and tired, body heavy from the alcohol and the buzz completely gone. He’s thirsty, hungry and sleepy when he kicks off his shoes in the entrance hall of the dorm apartment he shares with Hakyeon.

“Hakyeon?” He calls, walking into the apartment.

It has a simple layout; the smallest kitchen Jaehwan has ever seen, and a livingroom with enough space for a couch and not much more. They didn’t even have a dining table. The bedroom is shared, but they made a makeshift wall when they moved in by putting their wardrobes up in the middle of the room back-to-back and used a shower-curtain rod between them and the wall to hang up a dark, thick curtain that – by recommendation from music producer major and best friend Wonshik – helped prevent sound _and_ wasn’t see-through. In that way they were able to make a sort of privacy after all.

“I’m in my room!” He hears Hakyeon call as he enters their livingroom, the door to their bedroom open. He walks with heavy and sloppy steps, tripping a little as he stepped onto the carpeted floor of their bedroom to talk to his roommate and friend.

“You okay?” Hakyeon asks, watching him from where he sits at his desk right within the room on his side. They had set up their desks so that they could still talk to each other while doing school work, but still at opposite ends of the room. The room is small enough to allow them to talk comfortably anyway.

“Yeah, I just had some whiskey.” He steers toward Hakyeon’s bed located behind where he was sitting, in the furthermost corner of the room and plops down to sit. The softness of the bed immediately becomes too tempting and he falls backwards and groans in pleasure.

“You went out? On a Thursday?” Hakyeon is surprised, of course; Jaehwan never goes out to drink.

“Yeah.” He stares at the roof. Typical Hakyeon; he had placed some stars on the roof that lit up in the dark. Only about four, but enough to make a starry sky in the dark room – the only light source the screen of Hakyeon’s computer.

“That’s rare. Did Wonshik drag you?”

“I went alone.” He can almost hear Hakyeon frowning from how sad that sounds.

“Why did you do that? I would have gone with you if you asked, you know.” Jaehwan waves a hand blindly into the air, shushing away his friend’s concerns.

“I celebrated finishing midterm tests.”

“You should have gone with your classmates or something!” A foot kicks his own foot and Jaehwan whines, pulling his feet up onto the bed to hide them from the other.

“I didn’t plan it. I just suddenly wanted to go, so I went.” He excuses, curling up on top of Hakyeon’s soft sheets that smelled of flowery fabric softener. Jaehwan doesn’t even use softener, so his sheets don’t smell anything special.

He hears Hakyeon huff and the sound of his chair turning, probably returning to his computer. He turns back to lie on his back and look at the stars.

“Taekwoon was there.”

The mention of the other gives him a flash memory of the moment their lips had touched 2 years ago and his chest warms. He hears Hakyeon inhale sharply and turn his chair sharply, making it squeal in pain.

“Seriously?” He’s surprised again. Maybe Taekwoon’s not the one to go out and drink either, Jaehwan thinks.

“He was alone too.” He closes his eyes and tries to picture his face. He looked exactly the same, only the hair was much longer. It was cut very short the first time they met, styled up to a stand. Tonight it had been hanging into his face, a side parting the only thing keeping it away from his eyes.

“He’s been ignoring my messages for a while.” Hakyeon says and he sounds slightly sad. Predictably so; Hakyeon hates being ignored or left out. He’s known Taekwoon since they attended the same high school.

“He said he’s been really busy.” He tries to comfort. “He probably just had midterms too.”

Maybe he was at the bar for the same reason. And at that exact bar too.

_What are the chances?_

“I haven’t seen him in a long time. How is he?” Jaehwan is relieved Hakyeon sounds normal again. It’s true that they’re all busy, especially lately with midterms, but now they will have 2 weeks off to breathe, collect themselves and finally have some fun together as friends.

“Just as tired as us all, but he seemed happy enough. I didn’t really ask.”

“Did he even recognize you? You only met him once at my party, right? Like, 1 year ago?”

“2 years. And yeah, he did.” He smiles. It was true; they only met once but he recognized him immediately. The warmth returns to his chest like a pleasant glow and he sighs contently.

“Must have made an impression.” Jaehwan frowns at the suggestive tone in Hakyeon’s voice. He hasn’t told anyone about the kiss yet, since until today he thought it was a dream. He has no plans on spilling the beans now either. Suddenly he doesn’t want to be on Hakyeon’s bed anymore. His own seems far more inviting. He sits up and huffs.

“I guess I did.” He brushes off and walks away to his own part of the room, ignoring Hakyeon’s questioning face and walking around their wardrobes. “Good night.” He waves over his shoulder and goes to bed, more ready to sleep than ever.

\--

Deep eyes look directly into his and it’s like a spell has taken him and he can never look away. Not even blink. The tingling sensation and fingers stroking with a feather-like touch up his arm makes his skin gain goosebumps, the long and thin fingers touching his skin the most beautiful hands he has ever witnessed.

Mouth is dry, his lips craving for touch, his entire body on edge – every touch intensified. His own free hand moves up to grasp hold of the other’s neck and he pulls him towards himself.

Lips meet and he gasps.

Then his eyes fly open, body sitting up abruptly and he’s back in his own room, in his own bed and all alone. He’s panting, his body on full alert and the touch that had felt so real still tingling on his skin. It takes him several minutes to fully come back to reality, and to detect the tent in his boxers.

“Ahh, fuck…” He groans and falls back into his pillow, hand over his eyes in agony.

_Having wet dreams about Taekwoon again, are we?_

He swears his own brain is mocking him. It has been a while since this happened last, but of course actually meeting the culprit of his dreams would make it all come back. Usually just a replay of their actual kiss, other times much, _much_ more.

He’s terrified one day he will start making sounds in his sleep and scar Hakyeon for life.

He reaches for his phone on the chair he had placed beside his bed as a makeshift bedside table with the lack of an actual one, and taps the screen. It lights up. 5AM. He has only slept for about 4 hours, he realizes.

Stubbornly he ignores the situation in his pants and tries to go back to sleep by counting the tiles on his roof. Maybe he should put up some stars as well?

\--

He wakes up again to his alarm at 8.30AM; his phone blinking, vibrating and yelling at him to get up. He hits the phone blindly, trying but failing to find the button to end the torture. His head hurts; a pulsing pain at his temple.

Finally he turns over to the side and takes the phone in hand to properly turn off the alarm. When the alarm is off the screen shows him the notifications he missed from having the phone on silent all night. A message. From an unknown number.

His heart jumps almost painfully and his fingers hurry up to make out the pattern to unlock his screen and see the contents.

“Coffee?” It says. It has to be Taekwoon, there is no doubt, he decides. The message is only 17 minutes old he sees, and he hurries to type a reply.

“Is breakfast included?” He smiles, stomach rumbling as he watches the screen to wait for a reply, completely ignoring all other notifications. He’s about to lay the phone down when the answer comes in.

“Pancakes?”

\--

“Hongbin will never leave me alone if he finds out I ate breakfast at McDonalds.” Taekwoon says from across Jaehwan as they eye their matching stacks of pancakes from the fastfood breakfast menu about an hour later. The perfect place for starving students.

He looks at Taekwoon in question, tilting his head slightly. “Hongbin?”

A flash of realization travels across his face cutely. “Ohh, my roommate. He’s obsessed with eating healthy.”

Jaehwan wrinkles his nose. “That sounds annoying.”

“It’s okay. We’re friends, so-” He smiles, but his attention is on the pancakes and the melting butter on top of them. He’s watching it quite intently and Jaehwan can’t look away. Jaehwan hums in answer. “You close?” He tries to ask as casually as possible. A moment’s thought of worry that they might be a couple plays in his mind.

There’s a twitch on the corner of Taekwoon’s mouth and a flash in his eyes. “We’re just friends.”

Jaehwan blushes and turns his attention to the suddenly very interesting pancakes. His butter had melted all over and he takes the syrup to pour it over the much anticipated breakfast. He loves pancakes. With passion. And judging by the look Taekwoon gives his pancakes he’s not much less fond of them either. His eyes shine with hunger as he takes his plastic fork and cuts a piece. His eyebrows fly up and his eyes smile like two half-moons when he tastes the first piece.

“This was a great idea. Thank you for inviting me.” Jaehwan says, moaning as he eats his first piece as well. The other looks at him, sucking on his fork, and smiling around it. Jaehwan’s heart soars at the sight. He never thought he was the type to like cute guys, but this here is definitely the cutest one around for miles.

“I love pancakes.” Taekwoon says when he removes the fork from his mouth to take another bite. Jaehwan could not feel any happier in that moment.

“We have something in common then.” He grins. Taekwoon smiles again and Jaehwan’s heart skips a beat.

“What are you doing later?” Taekwoon asks when the pancakes are gone and he’s just playing with the leftover syrup on his plate with his fork.

For a moment Jaehwan wants to throw everything out of the window and say he has the day off, but he’s a scholarship student and that requires maximum effort to obtain.

“It’s the last day of classes before mid-break, so I have to go soon.” He says, giving an apologetic smile to the other. He hums and nods understandably, not looking at him but his syrup. Jaehwan’s chest feels tight, the want to stay really strong.

“Do you have break now too?” He asks hopefully. If they have holiday at the same time, they could hang out after all. All the time. Every day. The thought makes his cheeks warm.

“Yeah, classes ended yesterday.” He answers softly.

“Let’s hang out then. During the break.” Jaehwan leans forward, hoping for the other to look up and at him. He wants another smile before he has to go. His wish is granted; he looks up and directly at him, smiling nicely with mouth and eyes.

“Sure.”

Jaehwan is warm and fuzzy all over, grinning at the answer. He wants to get to know Taekwoon, hang out with him, play games together, watch movies, kiss… He has to look back down as he remembers his dreams.

He notices the time on his wristwatch and his stomach sinks in disappointment. It’s time to go, if he’s not going to be late for class.

“I have to go now.” He says with a sigh.

“Already?” There’s a tune to Taekwoon’s voice and Jaehwan selfishly hope it’s disappointment.

“Yeah, I’m already late.” He gathers both of their trays and gets up to trash them at the cleaning station beside the exit. When he’s done trashing them he feels the other’s presence beside him. A shoulder meets his and his shoulder suddenly feels warmer on that side. He turns to look at the other in question, and is met with his dark and enchanting eyes.

There’s a moment where he hopes the other will just take hold and kiss him again, all dramatically and movie-like, but it doesn’t happen. Their eyes float away from each other silently and Taekwoon opens the door for him to come through.

“See you again soon.” Jaehwan promises and runs away, heart beating like a drum in his chest.


	3. Three

“It’s like you’re begging to be robbed.”

Jaehwan gasps in shock at the sound of Sanghyuk’s voice directly in his ear and shoots upright. “HOLY SHI- GET OUT OF MY FACE!” He shouts in surprise, seeing Sanghyuk kneeling beside him on the couch he had been sleeping on. He easily evades Jaehwan’s flailing hands coming towards him. Jaehwan’s loud voice wakes up Wonshik on the couch beside him.

“Wha- What’s happening? Where’s my laptop?” Wonshik mumbles, incredibly disorientated. Sanghyuk gets up and waves the silver laptop much more carelessly than he should.

“Right here. Wanted to see if you noticed if I took it.” He says with a smug grin while Wonshik gapes at him like he’s crazy. Jaehwan looks at him in disbelief. “You’re so creepy at times Hyukkie.” He says, but Sanghyuk only smiles innocently at them both, then hands over the laptop to Wonshik’s begging arms. He cradles the precious item and lies back down.

“Why are you sleeping in the hallway, anyway?” Sanghyuk asks. Jaehwan takes a moment to think, brain slow and pained from lack of sleep and neck hurting like he had been tortured. “We didn’t exactly plan to.” He sits up straight and rubs his flat hair into something less sleepy. “It’s Wonshik’s fault for dragging me into his all-nighter in the studio.” He turns and gives his friend a stink eye, despite him not seeing it due to closed eyes. Wonshik had called him to the studio at 1AM the night before, wanting him to sing on a new track. Despite mid-break starting that same day, Wonshik is always hanging around the school’s recording studio.

“Then why are you here and not back in bed?” Sanghyuk asks as he sits down on the seat beside Jaehwan on the couch and makes himself comfortable with his overgrown body barely fitting in the seat when he tries to sit cross-legged.

Jaehwan makes a face as he tries to think why they didn’t go home despite being done recording. “I don’t even remember. Wonshik, what was it?” He taps the other’s foot sticking up towards him from the too-short couch he’s on; the only limb within reach.

“Hm?” He had obviously dozed off again, once again disoriented and lost.

“Why. Are. We. Still. Here.” Jaehwan says slowly, annoyed. His head hurts so much he can feel his pulse in his skull.

“Uhm… I think I was writing down some lyrics I thought of or something.” He slurs, barely awake. He doesn’t even look at them as he answers. One would think he was sleep-talking. Jaehwan scoffs; he remembers now.

They were walking out of the studio, the next student to have booked it basically chasing them out, and Wonshik suddenly insisted they sat down so he could quickly write down some words he thought of on his laptop. They had found the couches meant for waiting for the studio to be available and made themselves comfortable. The rest was history.

He could be in bed now, but instead his entire body is stiff and hurting, head thundering, phone out of battery and his mouth tastes like death after sleeping on a couch in the music building hallway.

That’s right; The music building! He turns back abruptly to face Sanghyuk; who does not belong there. “Why are _you_ here?”

Sanghyuk blinks. “Looking for my missing roommate.”

“Why?” Said roommate grunts, trying to get up from his awkward position – a quite comical sight had Jaehwan not been too tired to laugh properly. He watches in interest as Wonshik’s body refuses to listen to him. Seems his legs fell asleep from being raised.

Sanghyuk sighs dramatically. “You forgot, didn’t you.” He accuses. Wonshik stop mid-motion, almost sitting like a normal person by now, and stares at him in horror.

“What day is it?” He almost whispers. Sanghyuk tilts his head in disbelief and Jaehwan can’t help but chuckle weakly, his shoulders hurting at the motion. “It’s Saturday.” Sanghyuk actually sounds a little angry, which is very rare.

“Fuck.” Wonshik curses under his breath, wide awake now. He starts scrambling to a stand, putting his shoes back on and reaching for his backpack. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuck!” He packs his laptop carefully, even though he’s suddenly in a hurry.

Jaehwan looks at Sanghyuk in question, who looks at him with that look that tells him he’s just about _done_ with everything. “It’s Auntie Kim’s birthday party today. They’re in town so we can celebrate with them.”

Jaehwan gasps and turns to look at Wonshik again. “You forgot your mom’s birthday?!”

“Mom’s gonna be so pissed!” Wonshik whines as he throws his backpack over his shoulder and stands in front of them, feet tripping in place – ready to go.

“Thanks to me coming to find you, we’re still pretty early.” Sanghyuk sighs and gets up as well, completely calm. He waves at Jaehwan, who waves back weakly, and walks away with Wonshik on his heels – also waving goodbye.

“Have fun, guys! Bring me some cake!” He calls after them. Wonshik gives him a thumb up as they round the corner of the hall towards the south exit.

He check’s his wristwatch for the time and groans loudly. It’s already almost 10AM, and he had originally planned on getting a lot of things done that day; first day of mid-break and all. Judging by the headache he’s having he doesn’t think any of that will be done any time soon.

\--

With a lot of huffing, groaning and agony Jaehwan drags himself out of bed again after his alarm rings at 4PM that same afternoon. Phone charged while he slept; now begging him to disconnect the cable because it reached 100% battery. Cable out; the notification disappears and gives way to a message from Taekwoon. The phone’s pattern is drawn and phone unlocked with record speed.

“What are you up to?” The message from more than one hour ago reads. Jaehwan stares at it for a moment, pondering if he should lie about just waking up or not. Shrugging; he writes an answer.

“Just woke up after pulling an all-nighter.” He sends and stares at the screen blankly, trying to get his mind working. His stomach rumbles; he had gone straight to bed when he came home, which meant he had not eaten anything all day. He starts typing again.

“Hungry?”

\--

Despite being a so-called ‘starving student’, Jaehwan doesn’t really cook and eat at his dorm. It’s not like he can’t cook, more that he never bothered with buying any groceries. The result is eating a lot of fast-food and delivered food.

When Taekwoon offered to cook for him it was like a dream come true, to say the least. And that’s how he finds himself at the gates of the local community college, waiting for Taekwoon to come pick him up and bring him to his dorm.

The spring weather is warm and pleasant and Jaehwan is only dressed in a hoodie after months of wearing jackets, scarves and gloves. The wind is warm, but a little strong, so he’s lifted his hoodie to cover his hair to not mess it up and huddles himself over to avoid it being blown off.

Therefore; he doesn’t notice when Taekwoon suddenly stands beside him, shoulder-to-shoulder again.

“Hey.” He says softly.

“OHMYGO-“ Jaehwan gasps, hand to his chest and jumping away from the other. When he sees it’s only Taekwoon he starts laughing. “You scared me!”

The other’s hand covers his mouth as he laughs silently, head falling down to hide his face behind his wavy black hair. It’s quite adorable, but doesn’t stop Jaehwan from hitting his shoulder in fake anger. “Idiot.” He says playfully.

Taekwoon only blinks at him innocently and takes an arm around his shoulder, leading him around and towards the campus gate. Jaehwan lets himself be led easily.

“What are you making?”

“Pasta.”

“Ooooh, fancy!” He’s thoroughly impressed, had really expected the other to offer something like instant noodles or a wok – like every other student he knew. Taekwoon looks away from him and mumbles that it’s not that complicated and Jaehwan pushes his a little with his hip.

They walk along the main road of the campus towards the dorms, Taekwoon’s arm naturally resting on his shoulders and giving him warmth he didn’t know he needed. The school is old and a lot smaller than Jaehwan’s fancy, private art college, but he had heard it housed a lot of students. Mostly locals, like Taekwoon.

“I thought you lived in that apartment?” He asked. He had started to wonder why he was called to the campus dorms when as far as he knew the other lived in his own apartment due to being a local.

“My parents moved last year.” He answers and leads him off the main road and onto a narrower path. The paths are beautiful, paved with red stone bricks in creative patterns. On this path it’s made into waves, giving an illusion that the path is wavy. He stares at it as he walks, humming at Taekwoon’s answer.

Soon they turn again and stop in front of a double door leading into a big, aged brick box of a building, arm coming off Jaehwan’s shoulder – leaving him feeling like something’s missing, colder than before. He looks up at the mighty monster of pure brick and muses at how tall it seems. Taekwoon fish up some keys from his pockets and open the door for him. Clouds are gathering; grey and heavy.

They climb the stairs for two floors and then unlock the door for room number 322, a sign on the door saying ‘Jung Taekwoon’ and ‘Lee Hongbin’.

_Right, he has a roommate._

He silently wonders if Hongbin’s home, and kind of hopes he isn’t so they can be alone.

Letting Jaehwan in first; Taekwoon holds the door and steps to the side. Jaehwan enters and is welcomed by a surprisingly big-looking apartment. The door goes directly into the livingroom with a combined kitchen, and it looks much bigger than the livingroom he shares with Hakyeon.

“Whoah, it’s really big!” He exclaims, taking off his shoes and immediately moving in to explore the room. Not only is it big; it’s perfectly clean. No traces of mess anywhere.

He hears the door close and turns to Taekwoon. “Do you have separate bedrooms too?” He asks. Sanghyuk and Wonshik, despite sharing a dorm apartment, have their own bedrooms and Hakyeon and he have always envied them the luxury. Since they are scholarship students they live in a separate dorm building with smaller apartments, something he always deemed unfair. Sanghyuk and Wonshik, however, are regular, paying students and therefore live in the regular, bigger dorms. He never expected the community college to provide even nicer dorms than his.

“Yeah, I have my own room. It’s tiny though.” Taekwoon answers and pads over to the kitchen right away. Jaehwan follows, eyeing the high stools lined up along the kitchen island facing the room. There’s no dinner table in the room, but four stools along the island provides plenty space to sit and eat and even have guests, he muses. Such luxury, he thinks; Hakyeon and he always have to sit with their plates in their laps on their couch, or by their desks.

Taekwoon enters the kitchen area; Jaehwan sits down on a stool to watch. “I would offer to help, but I would only provide with fires and unidentified flavors, I fear.” He says jokingly. The other chuckles; back to him so he can’t see his face. He wants to see it though. He wants to see him smile again.

The stern, concentrated face Taekwoon has while he cooks is not a bad replacement, though, he thinks as he watches him work with practiced precision and occasional clumsiness. He tries not to laugh when a shrimp flies from the frying pan and onto the floor, and how the cook makes and angry but high-pitched wheezing sound for it. He covers his mouth and keeps quiet the best he can as he watches, absolutely lost in their bubble.

So lost he jumps when an unknown voice speaks from the entrance door, and when he turns around; an absolutely dazzling guy is taking off his shoes and sniffing the air in the room.

“You’re making food?” He had said. Jaehwan turns to Taekwoon in slight panic, not exactly knowing how to introduce himself in this situation. Taekwoon looks up from the frying pan, currently frying his pasta with the sauce and shrimps. “Yeah, for me and Jaehwan.” He says, and Jaehwan feels strangely happy. _Only for them._

“Ohh, this is Jaehwan? Hi!” A big, toothy and absolutely dazzling smile greets Jaehwan when he turns back around. His eyes widen a little, but he has the sense to wave and say a slightly awkward “Hi”.

Hongbin doesn’t come over to the kitchen, just waved from where he was standing over by the door and picks up his backpack after getting rid of his jacket and walks over to one of three doors aligned at the opposite wall of the entrance. He looks like he’s in a hurry by the way he’s rushing so his sock-clad feet occasionally slip on the flooring.

“Nice to meet you Jaehwan!” He says before disappearing through the door. Jaehwan waves again at him and then turns back around on the stool to watch the cooking show again, but the show is over; Taekwoon already pouring the food onto two plates. It both smells and looks pretty fantastic and Jaehwan’s stomach growls loudly at the sight. He cradles his stomach, slightly embarrassed, but the other don’t seem to have noticed.

A really impressive plate of food and a glass of water is placed in front of him and Jaehwan doesn’t really know what to think or say, because this was certainly not what he expected from this day – or Taekwoon’s cooking for that matter. All he can do is stare at it, and then at Taekwoon when he sits down beside him. Taekwoon blinks at him, probably wondering if there’s something wrong with the food.

“Eat.” He commands softly, and Jaehwan snaps out of it.

“Oh my goodness, this is _so good!_ ” He moans after trying one bite, not really believing what he just tasted and then tried a second bite. After weeks on a diet consisting of cheap restaurant food and instant noodles at home, the pasta tasted like heaven to him. He looks at the cook with shiny eyes.

“Can I hire you as my personal cook?” He asks jokingly, but feeling half serious at the same time. Taekwoon’s brows furrow at him, chewing cutely for a while in silence. Jaehwan wait for him to answer, more or less patiently.

“Depends on the pay.” He says after swallowing. A flash of wicked in Jaehwan’s brain spurs him on.

“I have no money, but I can pay you in kisses.” He has no idea where this confidence came from, but he’s going to ride along with it. His heart beats a little harder at the realization of what direction he just turned the conversation. Taekwoon obviously realizes too; eyes widened and he can’t look at Jaehwan anymore.

“I’m not so sure about that.” He says, Jaehwan tilting his head confusedly. “As far as I know you tend to fall asleep during kisses.” He continues, and even though Jaehwan can’t see his face, he sees the corner of a smile on his lips – a more playful side to him being displayed.

“That was one time!” He defends himself, hand lashing out and giving Taekwoon’s shoulder a light shove. The other just kind of gurgles in an attempt to not laugh. “It’s the only source I have!” He then says, with some effort, but is able to look at Jaehwan again. His cheeks are red from amusement and he smiles big enough for teeth to show. It kind of knocks the wind out of Jaehwan, the sight of his full smile, but he’s still riding his wave of confidence.

“I’ll have to fix that then.” He says wickedly and grabs hold of the other’s neck so he can pull him closer and place a quick, wet and sloppy smack right there on his smile – sound effect and all. Taekwoon’s smile disappeared and he blinked confusedly for a moment. He wipes his – now wet – mouth and narrows his eyes at Jaehwan and then his mouth tugs once again. “I’ll think about it.”

Jaehwan’s chest tugs.

“Please do.” Jaehwan says with a chuckle and grins, once again making the other turn away from him at to the food. “That was not my best effort, though.” He frowns, kind of regretting making their second kiss a comical one. First a drunk kiss where he fell asleep, and then a comical smack? He could certainly do better.

With dishes cleaned and dried, appetites pleased and constantly keeping close enough to touch each other at random times – Jaehwan follows Taekwoon into his small bedroom. As they enter the room Taekwoon doesn’t turn on the ceiling light, but the desk lamp resting on a tiny desk that, despite being tiny, barely fit into the room was turned on instead and the light was dull and comfortable. The room is small, like he had said it would be, but his bed was a queen sized – in other words much bigger than Jaehwan’s. The barely seems to barely fit the bed, desk and a small dresser hidden in the darkest corner, but the room doesn’t feel too tight. There’s big help in the big window covering almost the entire upper half of the wall across from the door. It’s the first thing you see when you enter the room; the tree standing proud right outside.

The afternoon had turned dark while they cooked and ate, and Jaehwan had not even noticed that time passed them.

Angry sounds of wind and rain meet them, and Jaehwan walks over to stare out. Taekwoon sits down on his bed and watches him. “I didn’t bring an umbrella…” He thinks as big drops of water hits the window loudly. He hugs himself at the thought of walking home in this; their school campuses close enough to walk within 30 minutes. It’s enough to make a shiver run through him.

“Do you want to stay over?”

Jaehwan’s heart beats one very hard beat in his chest when Taekwoon breaks the tender silence with soft and quiet words. For a brief second he’s scared what that means, then feels stupid for assuming more than he should.

He doesn’t trust his throat then; instead he turns and looks at the other with mixed feelings of excitement, worry and joy. He nods. He’s rewarded with a slight smile from the other and it takes everything in him not to run into his arms right there. He settles on walking over and sitting down beside him on the bed, the other’s eyes watching him come – ever so intensely, but he knew now it’s his normal gaze – and leans his head on his shoulder.

“I’m tired.” He whispers and closes his eyes. A warm hand strokes its way across his back and around his side, making him inhale shakily, and then his body is carefully leaned over to lie on the bed – Taekwoon’s body hugging him silently. He sighs; eyes pinched shut and trying to calm down and relax like the other seemed to be doing, but can’t quite manage to. He feels a forehead rest into his neck, air tickling him as the other sighs as well.

Slowly his body stops being tense and he relaxes into the warmth all around him, the sound of rain hitting the window and their slow breathing the only sound in the room.

\--

Jaehwan wakes up feeling uncomfortably warm and sweaty, mouth tasting horrible and fluffy from not brushing his teeth and when he opens his eyes he’s looking straight into Taekwoon’s sleeping face. He holds his breath, scared of what it might smell like at the moment and rolls over on his back – away from him and closer to the edge. The room is still only illuminated by the desk lamp, but he still notices the stark, green light of stars stuck on the roof. Just like over Hakyeon’s bed.

There’s a sting of jealousy in him then, and he feels instantly ashamed because he knows Taekwoon and Hakyeon aren’t like that and that Hakyeon probably gave the stars as a present – because Hakyeon always gives the most thoughtful presents – and Taekwoon probably put them there without thinking much of it.

The stars above Taekwoon’s bed are a little different from those he so often counted at home from Hakyeon’s bed during late nights talking with him about his worries and joys. Much smaller and in bigger quantity than in Hakyeon’s room; giving the illusion that the stars are further away and the roof of the room much bigger. He can’t stop staring at them, his mind all kinds of hazy and heavy from an unknown amount of sleep. He feels himself drifting again, and he listens for the rain but it’s no longer there; only the faint sound of wind in the trees outside.

His clothes are sweaty and uncomfortable after sleeping fully dressed in the warm room and in the warm embrace of another person, so instead of letting himself drift away; Jaehwan gets up and walks out of the room to find a bathroom.

Only one option left between the three doors along the wall; he tugged the handle of the middle door and was met with the familiar layout of a dorm bathroom. He quickly searches through the shelves and opens the mirror to find an unopened toothbrush. A small celebratory “A-ha!” a quick pee and brush of teeth later he leaves the bathroom feeling a lot better. He enters the bedroom as quietly as possible, takes off his pants and hoodie and crawls back into bed with a sigh.

While counting the stars on the roof he waits quietly for sleep to consume him as he listens to the soft sound of Taekwoon’s breathing beside him, resisting the urge to kiss him in his sleep.


	4. Four

“You really need to clean your room.” Jaehwan tells Wonshik as he swirls around on his desk chair slowly and takes in the sight of the messy room. For a person who spends minimum hours in his dorm room, Wonshik is incredibly talented in making it look messy. His desk full of devices, papers, sheet music and cables, his floor covered in shoes, hats and clothing. Despite the room; Wonshik himself is an organized person, his horrible sleep pattern taken out of the equation.

“I know.” Wonshik groans from where he’s resting on his bed. They’re waiting for his studio time, Jaehwan booked for the entire afternoon in order to sing in the guide track for his newest project. For Wonshik the school holidays are his busiest time; a lot of fellow students leaving to their families, leaving the studio available a lot more often. That also meant Jaehwan and Sanghyuk would be busy singing on his tracks.

Jaehwan stops spinning the chair when the room starts to turn sideways on him, and faces the desk with mild interest. It has a lot of stuff on it that never got cleaned away; the Japanese manga figures Jaehwan had given him from Wonshik’s favorite series, a picture of his family (an awkward-looking Wonshik and Sanghyuk crushed between their parents who are smiling to the camera happily) and a calendar full of jotted down studio times and classes. A familiar name catches his attention.

“Wonshik?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you know Taekwoon?” He turns his chair to face him as he asks, eyes tearing away from the jotted down note reading said man’s name on some date earlier that month.

“Yeah, of course, I borrow him from time to time.” Jaehwan frowns. “Borrow?”

“He sings on my tracks sometimes, I mean.” Jaehwan’s eyebrows fly up. This was new information to him, he had no idea Taekwoon sang. He plants his feet onto the floor and scoots the chair closer to Wonshik’s bed. He did know that Wonshik and Taekwoon met at the same party he met him, but never knew they stayed in touch. He sits up on his bed to better look at Jaehwan.

“Why?” He asks.

“I didn’t know you guys kept in touch.”

“His voice is pretty good, so whenever I have a track that suits him I call him in.”

Jaehwan suddenly wants to leave and go back to Taekwoon’s dorm instead of going into the studio. He wants to hear him sing. Because of Wonshik he had ended up leaving immediately after waking up again, only able to give him a quick kiss before he ran. Only to be left waiting for the studio in his room when he could have been with him longer.

“You’ve probably heard his voice a couple of times. I show you everything I work on after all.” Wonshik says then and Jaehwan’s eyes whip back to look at him in surprise. “What?”

“You never ask who’s singing on my tracks when it’s not you or Sanghyuk so I guess I never told you…” Wonshik says, slightly taken aback by the shock on Jaehwan’s face. He’s not aware of Jaehwan meeting with Taekwoon the last few days after all. He had planned to tell him today, in the studio.

“I just assume it’s one of your classmates or something…” He admits. There are a lot of different people singing on his tracks after all, only Sanghyuk and him the most frequent voices he uses. He wants to ask him to play him one of the tracks he’s on, but resists the urge. He wants to hear it live more.

\--

It’s the only thing he can think of when he walks back to the community college campus that same evening. Taekwoon’s voice, how he wants to hear it. He had messaged Taekwoon from the studio, asking if he could come over again. He felt a little embarrassed about asking to hang out again so soon, but his desire to see him again was too strong.

Taekwoon had told him he could come after 8PM, so he stayed at the studio with Wonshik extra long – pretending he wanted to hang out more, but actually just wanting time to pass faster.

He had told Wonshik that he met Taekwoon again, and he seemed surprised he had not bumped into him earlier. Apparently he and Wonshik hung out quite often; at that particular pub in fact. Jaehwan never knew. It made him wonder who else among his friends had been meeting up with Taekwoon over these two years without him even realizing. Is he really that ignorant? Blind? He asked if Sanghyuk knew him too and Wonshik shook his head no, he had only met him once or twice but they never really talked. Sanghyuk found him intimidating, he said, and Jaehwan couldn’t help but chuckle.

He had not told Wonshik about how he and Taekwoon had kissed at the party, and again now recently. He felt he couldn’t. Not yet.

Taekwoon doesn’t meet him at the gate this time, but Jaehwan already knows his way – even though the campus looks much different covered in darkness and the occasional streetlight. Instead he meets him by the door. His bigger and broader body is perfect for hugging he finds out as he falls into his chest the moment he enters, not caring that Hongbin might be home and see them. The hug is welcomed as strong arms come around him after closing the door, and leads him around and into the apartment.

He pulls away when he realizes he needs to take off his shoes. Suddenly blushing; he looks up at Taekwoon’s slight smile and slips a soft “Hey”.

A soft kiss meets his lips and he realizes by how his entire body ignites into a firing torch, that he is completely smitten. _How did this happen so fast?_ He wonders. But in reality, for him at least, it really has been 2 years.

The kiss breaks and he gives a quick smile before turning away to take off his shoes. When he’s done he sees Taekwoon waiting for him by his own bedroom door, eyes on him. There is nothing special about the look, just his ordinary gaze, but it makes Jaehwan’s stomach stir anyway. A fluttering feeling that made his steps lighter as he walks to him and back into his long and comforting arms.

With their first proper, deep kiss they slowly make their way to and settle on Taekwoon’s bed; Taekwoon sitting with his back leaning on the wall, Jaehwan’s knees on either side of his thighs as he makes himself comfortable on his lap.

It’s the first time Jaehwan hears Taekwoon moan properly and it ignites something within him he only thought he possessed in his dream; a burning desire and overwhelming confidence. Only pausing briefly to breathe – he parts their slicked lips and looks him directly in his eyes as he takes both hands to cradle the back of his head and let’s nails scrape his scalp and grips a good hold of his hair, tugging it slightly.

He had done the same in his dreams, but the real reaction is so, _so_ much more gratifying as the other’s mouth falls open in a groan and eyes flutter close. It makes him moan as well; the sight the most erotic thing he has ever witnessed in real life – despite having had sex before.

It overwhelms him; all the things he wants to do at that very moment, the almost burning feeling of Taekwoon’s hands gripping his thighs and the growing pressure in his abdomen and the front of his pants.

Not wanting to slip into a total frenzy, he reclaims his lips softly and tries to calm down by kissing softly and sweetly. Taekwoon’s hand moves from his thigh to rub his side and everywhere the hand touches starts burning, it seems. He moans softly into his mouth, and Taekwoon moans back as Jaehwan’s fingers clutch around his hair and tugs at the strands.

“Jaehwan-“ Taekwoon tries to say before he cuts himself off to breathe. Brought back to a surface he wasn’t aware he had fallen under, Jaehwan pulls back, panting lightly, and settles back to look at the other’s face.

His lips are red and swollen, his eyes shining with softness. He’s absolutely beautiful and Jaehwan hurts inside.

“Yeah?” He breathes, a little pained.

“I don’t-“ He closes his eyes, seemingly struggling to think. Jaehwan knows he needs time to speak. That he never speaks carelessly. So he waits patiently, heart slowly calming down in his chest.

“Let’s not- uh- rush it, okay?” He says then, eyes back to looking into Jaehwan’s, searching for understanding, checking if his message got through the way he wanted.

Where Jaehwan thought he would be disappointed, he is actually a little relieved. He hadn’t even planned on going this far, and that was already going too fast in his book. He smiles warmly, nodding, blushing bashfully at his own behavior. He had been the one giving all the signals, after all.

“Sorry.” He says softly, and Taekwoon’s hands tighten on his thighs, not letting him pull away.

“Don’t be.” His eyes are serious. “It’s not like I don’t, you know, _like_ it.” Taekwoon flinches and blushes deeply at his own words; obviously awkward from expressing himself like this.

“Let’s just not… rush it, okay?” He finishes with a huff and Jaehwan almost sees the heat radiating from his blush, the red rash covering not only his face but neck and what little chest is revealed by his slightly unbuttoned dress shirt.

He feels infinitely grateful. “I agree.” I he says wholeheartedly and gives him another sweet kiss, stomach back to fluttering sweetly when he accepts it like second nature.

He pulls away again. “Let’s-” He leans his forehead on Taekwoon’s and closes his eyes. “-savor this.” He sighs and rests into Taekwoon’s embrace as his arms come up from his thighs and close around his middle to pull him as close as possible.

His almost-frenzy from before has calmed down and he feels warm and dreamy in Taekwoon’s arms. He feels impossibly happy in this very moment, with them like this together, and he feels like it’s the most natural thing in the world for them to be together.

He can only hope Taekwoon feels the same.

There’s an underlying feeling of doubt in him that he’s been ignoring all day, and he pushes it away with force as he pulls into the hug even tighter, looking for assurance. Hands tighten around him and he instantly feels better.

They stay like that for a few moments, resting and coming down from the high from before. With a careful tug, Taekwoon pulls away and seeks contact with Jaehwan’s eyes again.

Jaehwan silently wonders if he can see the insecurity he’s trying so hard to push away. If he does, he doesn’t show it as he smiles that tiny, barely visible smile of his that has the power to turn Jaehwan into goo and his chest feel tight.

How did he reach this point again? He didn’t know. Could never understand how it happened. It just did. All he knows is that in this very moment he feels wonderful.

With that in mind he leans in for another kiss; slow and sweet and warm.

They kiss for a while. Exploring each other without actually undressing, only the occasional hand slipping under clothing here and there – but that only was enough to make them both gasp in excitement. He didn’t understand how such simple touches worked so well when it was Taekwoon’s hands that performed them, but he didn’t take the time to question it. They come to a natural stop when their lips are red and swollen and they lie down side-by-side on the bed, panting quietly and watching the stars on the ceiling.

“Taekwoon?” His voice cracks a little from speaking again after a long time only using it to make incoherent sounds. He flinches at the way the sound of his own voice breaks through the silence of the room. Taekwoon hums in answer, undisturbed.

“Can you sing for me?” He asks quietly. In the corner of his eye he sees him turn his head towards him rapidly, perhaps surprised Jaehwan knew he sang, but Jaehwan keep his eyes to the roof.

There’s a pause; Taekwoon thinking hard, Jaehwan assumes.

Then the softest singing voice Jaehwan has heard in his life floats into the room and he can’t resist turning to look at the other in surprise. But Taekwoon is looking at the stars as he sings a common ballad that Jaehwan has sung so many times he can’t count it on two hands.

He suddenly remembers the voice from Wonshik’s tracks; which of them that belongs to Taekwoon. He remembers telling his friend the year before that it’s his best ballad so far. So far no song had topped it, but Jaehwan had forgotten all about it. It had drowned among the many songs his friend presented to him. Until he’s reminded of it again in this moment.

Taekwoon sings softly, not putting much force into it so he’s not too loud, but it’s all the same beautiful to the point of a tear escaping the corner of Jaehwan’s eye. He hides his face when he feels the tear fall, into Taekwoon’s shoulder.

When the song is over Jaehwan wants to tell him how good he is, how beautiful it was, how touched he is about him singing for him – but all he can do is lean over on his side and take his hand to cup the other’s cheek so his face is turned to his and look into his eyes silently. He trusts his eyes can deliver the message as he waits for Taekwoon to read them, and then he seals it with a small kiss.

“Thank you.” He’s able to say when he pulls away, and settles into the other’s side.


	5. Five

He wakes up Monday morning in Taekwoon’s bed when the sunlight coming through his big window proves too bright to let him sleep a minute longer. They had not pulled the curtains before going to bed together, but at least they had brushed their teeth and changed into sweatpants and t-shirts. Taekwoon had given him his own clothes, Jaehwan having showed up without anything but his phone and wallet. He had fallen asleep easily completely surrounded by the pleasant scent of the other.

The bed is empty, Taekwoon had told him the night before he would leave early to his part-time job, and the bed feels incredibly big and cold without anyone beside him. The confidence and comfort he felt the night before is long gone, and he feels unsettled being in the room alone. He tries to roll into the beddings, surrounding himself with the other’s scent in seek of comfort – and it helps a little, bringing pleasant memories from the night before.

When he finally crawls out of bed and moves out of the room, Hongbin is seated on a stool in the kitchen, reading on his phone and eating cereal. He looks up and was obviously expecting Taekwoon to come out judging by the surprised look on his face when it’s Jaehwan he sees.

“Oh.” Is all he says, and Jaehwan kind of wants to go back into the bedroom and wait until Hongbin is gone. Too late now, though, so he waves and smiles awkwardly. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Hongbin answers equally awkwardly, and doesn’t seem to quite know what to do with himself. Jaehwan shuffles in his spot for a moment, and is about to turn to run to the bathroom and hide there when Hongbin finds his words.

“Want some cereal?”

Jaehwan breaks into a smile, relieved, the tension mostly dissolved already. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

Hongbin gets him another bowl and offers him two choices of cereal, wheat puffs and chocolate – Jaehwan chooses wheat puffs, and they sit down side-by-side comfortably.

He doesn’t know what to talk about with the other, who is just staring at his cereal while chewing – phone put away politely, and thinks hard what the normal things to ask about when meeting new people are. For some reason he can’t think of any at first.

“Uhm… so what’s your major?” He settles on in the end. They are students after all. Hongbin chews, swallows and turns to Jaehwan.

“Pre-medical. I’m in second year now actually.” He smiles a dimpled smile and Jaehwan is once again a little dazzled by his handsome face. “Must be hard!” He says, more at ease now that he got Hongbin to smile and the conversation going. Hongbin gives him a look that says more than words would be able to, and he chuckles at how funny he looks when he makes the face. “That hard, huh?”

Hongbin nods with emphasis. “Yeah, I don’t have time for anything else basically.” He sighs. “Anyway, how long have you and Taekwoon known each other?”

Jaehwan think about it for a moment, and the realization that it’s Monday and he’s only _really_ known Taekwoon for 4 days struck him rather hard. He’s embarrassed all of a sudden, for how fast things were going and how he’s been acting. He hesitates to answer, chewing his lips.

“Since Thursday, but we actually met for the first time two years ago at a party.”

He flinches slightly at the surprised look on Hongbin’s face, and he hopes the other is not judging him for things he hasn’t even done. He feels like he has to explain himself to the other, but he doesn’t really know what to say without making things incredibly awkward for them both.

Instead; Hongbin saves the situation as he breaks into a warm, double-dimpled smile and says: “I think Taekwoon likes you a lot, Jaehwan.” Before he turns back to his tiny remains of cereal, finishing the bowl with one last spoonful.

“Yeah?” Jaehwan blurts out, eyes big as plates, taken by surprise. Rising to a stand and grabbing his bowl; Hongbin nods. “He actually talked to me about you. That rarely happens. He made it sound like you’re old friends.” He says seriously before walking around the kitchen island and to the sink to rinse his bowl. Jaehwan’s eyes follows him, and he feels himself blushing furiously – but he doesn’t care.

“I have to run to the library now… Do you know how to get out?” He sets the bowl on a drying rack and dries his hands on his pants while looking at Jaehwan in question. Jaehwan nods. “Yeah, he explained it yesterday.”

“Okay, good, see you then.” Hongbin says with yet another smile, a little awkwardly and walks past Jaehwan to leave.

\--

“Do you and Wonshik have some huge project going on or something?” Hakyeon asks when Jaehwan returns to his room later. He looks at Hakyeon in question from where he’s standing right inside the door to their bedroom, Hakyeon sitting by his desk. “I mean, you haven’t been home for like 3 nights.” He adds.

Jaehwan hadn’t even realized; the last time he ran into Hakyeon was when he came home from the pub 4 days ago. Considering they shared a bedroom; that is a very rare occurrence.

Deciding he might as well tell Hakyeon what’s really going on, he walks over to the other’s bed and sits down, Hakyeon turning his chair to follow. Brows raised in question, detecting that Jaehwan has something to say, Hakyeon leans forward on his chair – ready to listen.

Telling Hakyeon, who is – just like Wonshik – his best friend and school mentor, makes what is happening all the more real. He tells Hakyeon about the party two years ago, to which he gets a very exaggerated reaction from him, but is soon calmed down when he explained the part about thinking it was a dream all along. He doesn’t give his friend all the details, just telling him how they instantly became close when meeting again and spending two nights at his dorm. Hakyeon gives him a look at that, and he has to embarrassingly assure him that nothing _happened._ Yet.

“So you’re together now, or..?” Hakyeon asks, and the worry Jaehwan had been suppressing all morning blooms like a flower exposed to sun in his gut. They had not really talked about anything like that yet, really.

“I don’t really know…” Is all he can say, and he can tell immediately that Hakyeon is worried – making his own worry all the worse. “We haven’t really talked about it.” He defends, more to convince himself that the other. “It’s only been 4 days after all.”

Hakyeon nods at that, his worry seemingly more settled. “Yeah, Taek’s a good guy, so I wouldn’t worry too much.”

Hakyeon and Taekwoon went to high school together; a result of having a collective school for all the students from their neighboring hometowns. He knew Taekwoon from childhood, and knew him well after all.

“Can you tell me about him?” He asks, curious about the Taekwoon Hakyeon became friends with all those years ago. Hakyeon smiles and nods, and leans back in his chair and look into space – chasing memories.

He tells a couple of stories from their school days; stories of how Taekwoon had been a sport prodigy, that Hakyeon was his first friend at their school and about their adventures together in acts of mild mischief.

“He looks really tough at first, doesn’t he?” Hakyeon says and Jaehwan nods thoughtfully. He remembers being very intimidated at first at the party, until Taekwoon approached him and got him talking. “But in reality he’s the softest marshmallow out there. He has a bad weakness for children and animals, after all.” He chuckles at his own description and Jaehwan can’t help but snort. 

Jaehwan feels better at this point; the things Hakyeon told him fitting to the Taekwoon he has gotten to know so far, which is reassuring. Feeling much better; he excuses himself from Hakyeon’s room to get dressed into something he didn’t wear yesterday as well.

\--

Taekwoon is coming over to Jaehwan’s apartment for the first time, after sending a text he was done at work and wondering what Jaehwan was up to. With promises of ordered-in pizza and a movie, he’s easily persuaded into coming over for the evening. With Hakyeon sent away to hang out with Wonshik, his room cleaned up for the first time in too long, newly showered and the pizza already ordered, he sits on the couch in their living room – feet restlessly jumping up and down. Too tense to relax, gaze fixed on the phone – dreading that text that might come and tell him he isn’t coming after all.

An overwhelming relief envelops him when the text comes in; Taekwoon telling him he’s reached the campus entrance. He jumps up from his seat and more or less runs to the door, stepping outside in slippers only.

The scholarship dorms are the furthest away from the rest of the campus facilities of all the buildings on campus, the older but very decorated and grand-looking building places directly by the school’s main entrance as a beautiful piece of architecture that reflects on the school’s old history as private university of arts.

It only takes Jaehwan five minutes to reach the main gate, where Taekwoon stands waiting in the afternoon sun, dressed casually in jeans and a simple dark blue t-shirt but managing to look so handsome that Jaehwan’s chest flutters in joy at the sight. It’s a simple look but Taekwoon kind of looks like a model in his eyes.

“Hey!” He calls happily, walking slower to slow his breathing as he approaches him.

Taekwoon raises his hand immediately when he sees Jaehwan near, inviting him to come under it, and he slides in like a puzzle piece with a big smile and cheeks blushed. He feels a kiss on the side of his head and he’s glad he has the other to lean on because his knees suddenly feel like they’re about to give in.

“You smell good.” Taekwoon murmurs; face coming close to his head one more time.

“I just showered.”

“You smell like candy.”

“Please don’t eat my hair.” He turned to look at Taekwoon and joked when they’ve walked several steps with Taekwoon’s nose in his hair. The other scoffs at him and straightened, his height only barely above Jaehwan’s. Jaehwan smiles at him and gives him a playful push with his body before leading him into their dorm building and the dorm. Jaehwan had pushed him out of his hold, but Taekwoon immediately slid back into position without thought.

“I already ordered the pizza.” Jaehwan says as they step into the apartment hallway and shuffle off their footwear. He hears an appreciative sound behind him and he moves further into the apartment to wait for the other to come. Hakyeon and his apartment had a tiny hallway separating the entrance from the rest of the apartment, a room they never saw the point of as it only made the livingroom seem smaller. He waited in the door to the livingroom, leaning on the doorframe as he watches Taekwoon struggle with his shoelaces. There’s a frustrated huff and Jaehwan chuckles.

“Need help?” He teases, but right then the knot finally gives and Taekwoon’s feet are free. Taekwoon gives Jaehwan a look and he feels his stomach flutter excitedly. There’s a tug at the side of his mouth and Jaehwan suddenly feels like he needs to bolt.

With a slight sound of urgency he launches himself away from the door just when Taekwoon throws himself at him with a wicked smile on his face and as he crashes his back onto the couch right within and lets out a loud half laugh half scream as he sees the other make the turn around the door with some difficulty and then climb on top of him – caging his head between his arms as he keeps himself up above him with straight arms and knees resting on either side of Jaehwan’s thighs. He closes his eyes in half horror half glee and there’s a huff of air hitting his face as Taekwoon pants slightly above him.

“Hey.” Taekwoon breathes.

“Hi.” Jaehwan says helplessly, eyes still tightly shut together as he waits for some kind of punishment. His heart is beating hard in chest and he can feel himself blushing harder and harder.

“Look at me.” Taekwoon demands softly and Jaehwan feels himself relax a little and slowly he opens his eyes. What meets him is the dark deepness that is Taekwoon’s eyes looking directly into his and they’re so full of joy and adoration Jaehwan feels himself gasp quietly.

_He’s so beautiful._

He can see Taekwoon thinking hard, and he knows he’s figuring out what to say. He waits; let’s himself relax more and more as he studies his eyes with interest. There’s an intake of breath.

“I really, really like you.” Taekwoon finally says so softly it’s barely audible. His eyes were no longer in contact with Jaehwan’s; instead they’re flickering around at the features on his face. Anything but the eyes. His ears colored scarlet. Still; Jaehwan was able to see the slight desperation in his look as he spoke. Jaehwan feels himself turning into complete mush, and he’s sure he’s about to gurgle because he feels so happy he can’t contain it properly. He lets his arms, which were grabbing at the couch earlier, come up to cup Taekwoon’s face and he regains eye contact with him before he guides him down for a slight kiss. Only a touch of lips, but it tasted sweet. He feels the heat on Taekwoon’s face in his hands.

“I really, really like you too.” He murmurs back seriously. _So much it almost scares me._

Then the doorbell rings and they both gasp in surprise. Jaehwan lets out a big breath and Taekwoon gives him another quick kiss before the scrambles to a stand. “I’ll go get it.”


	6. Six

The pizza is consumed in record time, seated on the livingroom couch and the pizza set up on a chair in front of them due to a severe lack of tables in the sparingly furnished apartment. It was the reason Hakyeon and Jaehwan eat most of their meals at their desks.

While they ate they talked about one of their several common interests; Japanese anime. Both of them shared a love for the show One Piece and they shared an enthusiastic discussion about who their favorite characters were and what story arc was the best one so far. They had a hard time agreeing, ending up on settling with disagreement and Taekwoon smiling as if he had won the discussion.

After the pizza was gone and Jaehwan did a half-assed effort to clean up properly after them, Taekwoon wandered around in the apartment.

“You have a roommate?” He asks as he steps into the bedroom.

“Yeah, Hakyeon. I thought you knew.” He calls from the kitchen but receives no answer from the other.

In fact, it’s completely quiet for several minutes while he washes their plates and Jaehwan gets curious. He abandons the pizza box he was about to throw away on the kitchen counter and only barely rinses his hands before walking over to find out why it’s so quiet.

When he walks into the room Taekwoon is standing in Hakyeon’s part of the room and studying the stars above his bed, back towards Jaehwan so he can’t read his expression.

“That’s Hakyeon’s half of the room.” He says, having stopped by the door. There’s a pang of doubt deep within him, the same he had felt when he saw the stars above Taekwoon’s bed. He clung to the thought that Hakyeon and Taekwoon are friends, and Hakyeon hadn’t told him anything to believe anything else either.

But as he studied Taekwoon standing perfectly still and just looking at the stars in thought; he could not help it.

“Taekwoon?” He tries tenderly, and a start rocks through the other and he turns to look at him with an unreadable expression. It’s all it takes for Jaehwan’s doubts to settle, but as always he covers up his worries.

“Are you obsessed with stars or something?” He jokes halfheartedly and tries to smile convincingly, secretly wondering if the other knew he usually covered his worries with jokes. There’s a slight frown on Taekwoon’s face and then he walks over to Jaehwan with a serious expression. Jaehwan doesn’t want to look at him, worried for what is about to come, but Taekwoon takes his hand and leads him over to Jaehwan’s bed to sit.

His heart is beating again, but because of worry this time. He wants to know the reason for his sudden serious behavior, but at the same time he wants to be blissfully oblivious. They were having such a good time so far. Can’t they just go back to kissing each other again?

Taekwoon sits in silence beside him, his hands worrying at the edge of his shirt and teeth gnawing at his lips slightly. He takes his time before he speaks softly, the suspense in the room high.

“I feel that I need to make something clear before we…” He pauses with a slightly frustrated sigh. “-before going any further with this.” He says and looks at Jaehwan, who looks a lot more worried than he needs to be. It makes him panic slightly and his hands come up in surrender. “I just want to make sure you’re okay with it, that’s all.” He tries to elaborate, but it doesn’t help much.

“Go on.” Jaehwan is able to mumble, hands not knowing what to do so he clasps them together in his lap. He wants to hold Taekwoon’s hands and stop them from ruining his shirt, but he doesn’t quite have the courage. He keeps his eyes locked on Taekwoon’s hands and listens closely.

“I think you know this already, but Hakyeon and me have been friends since we were young and while our relationship was never romantic, I always felt really close to him in a way.”

He sighs, teeth tugging at his lips in a slight pause.

“So, at that party where I met you, before I met you, I had some alcohol and I was lonely, and generally just felt really miserable about being alone. I was a too drunk and honestly really stupid, so I tried to kiss him in the kitchen.”

Jaehwan’s gut sinks and the sickening feeling of doubt consumes him as he feels cold sweat form on his forehead. He feels foolish for rushing into this, for moving so fast and so carelessly and his biggest fear grows into a big, uncomfortable lump in his gut; that he was the one who wanted this the most. It terrifies him to the point of feeling sick, and his hands clutch together almost painfully, but he says nothing.

“He rejected me, of course, Hakyeon never saw me as anything more than a close friend, and I felt as if I would be alone forever. I’ve never been more embarrassed.”

Jaehwan can feel Taekwoon looking at him, but he keeps his eyes on his hands. They move closer to him and it takes a lot of effort not to cringe away.

“But then I met you.” His hand finds Jaehwan’s knee and he hears himself inhale sharply and his knee feels as if it’s been electrocuted.

“You made me feel better right away, and it just felt really nice talking to you all night.”

There’s a pause and Jaehwan quickly understands he’s waiting for some kind of reaction from him. He doesn’t know what to say, feeling terribly conflicted as he doesn’t know what to make of this. Did he like him? Or Hakyeon?

The notion of Taekwoon liking him over anyone seemed so unlikely in the first place.

It seems as Taekwoon somewhat understands what’s storming through Jaehwan’s mind in that moment, as his hand finds Jaehwan’s chin and Jaehwan is forced to look at him with his wet, scared eyes.

“Why did you kiss me that time?” Jaehwan is able to whisper with all the effort he can manage.

“Because I wanted to.” Taekwoon answers right away, steady eyes on Jaehwan’s.

“Why didn’t you try to contact me?” Jaehwan asks, one of the more pressing questions on his mind since he found out the kiss was no dream. Taekwoon sighs at that, and there’s a guilty look on his face.

“You made me feel all sort of things, all so suddenly, and honestly – it really scared me. Because of Hakyeon rejecting me and the alcohol I didn’t trust my feelings for you, so I felt like trying to contact you before I knew about my feelings for sure wouldn’t be fair to you. And then time just passed way too fast.”

Jaehwan’s worry doesn’t disappear completely, but lessens at that. He feels incredibly touched at Taekwoon sharing this with him when he really needed to hear it, and his hands stop trying to crush the other and moves to rest on top of Taekwoon’s on his own chin. Taekwoon’s face turns so red it looks like it’s about to blow up and he looks away and huffs before continuing.

“While I have been meeting you again these last days it all flooded back and I finally understood my feelings were very real.” Another pause and another embarrassed huff. “I’m sure now; that I’ve liked you ever since that day.”

Jaehwan is speechless at that, but feels like he has to respond in some way so he leans in to rest his forehead on Taekwoon’s and his eyes flash back to look into his at that. He sees now; the nervousness he held in his eyes from revealing himself like this.

“Me too.” Jaehwan whispers and Taekwoon makes an incoherent sound deep in his chest. Suddenly Jaehwan’s lips are attacked and he’s leaned over to lie on the bed, Taekwoon slowly climbing on top of him and deepening the kiss, stealing Jaehwan’s breath desperately.

It’s with a gasp they part their lips and Jaehwan lets out a slight laugh, his body so filled with feelings all over the place and seemingly no space for them so he feels like he’s about to burst. He needs a moment, but Taekwoon is kissing his neck and his mind goes white every time his lips come in contact with his sensitive neck.

He pants frustratingly, hands clutching desperately at Taekwoon’s arms. He wants to stop and think, but he doesn’t want him to stop kissing him – the sensation so delicious and making his abdomen stir up wildly with heat. Taekwoon covers his neck and jaw in kisses and with the last remaining will and strength he has in him he flips them over so he sits on top of Taekwoon instead, earning a surprised sound from the other.

He holds him down firmly as he gives them time to breathe, and himself some time to think. He still has questions, his mind racing with them but being jumbled around by his arousal. He wants to touch him and make him feel good, but he has so much he wants to talk about. Taekwoon’s eyes being clouded with lust and panting beneath him, mouth slack and hanging open as air comes out in huffs doesn’t help.

“What about the stars?” He asks and Taekwoon comes back to focus. It takes him several moments to realize exactly what Jaehwan meant.

“Hakyeon gave them to me as a moving-in gift.” He admits after his face lighted up in realization, and then frowns when Jaehwan’s eyes become doubtful again. “They don’t mean anything, I promise.” His hand rubs Jaehwan’s thigh as he says it. Jaehwan wants to believe, he really does, but his mind is rarely on his side.

“You don’t like Hakyeon?”

“No.” He answers definitely. “We’re friends. I was lonely, miserable and stupid that night.” His eyes turn soft and Jaehwan pities him, feeling bad for being so doubtful when the other did nothing to deserve it. He had been nothing but honest with him – to the point of almost exploding from embarrassment. Feeling guilty; he closes his eyes and sigh.

“I’m sorry I’m like this.” He apologizes softly, head hanging. Taekwoon’s hand on his thigh grips him.

“Don’t be.”

“I’m just scared.”

Another squeeze, harder this time.

“I know.” Taekwoon’s other hand finds his other thigh and rubs it. “Me too.” He continues and Jaehwan’s eyes open at that to look at him and he sees the same look on the other as he thinks he’s having himself; full of emotion and small traces of fear and desperation.

They just look at each other for a long time, Taekwoon’s hand rubbing comfortably at his thighs mindlessly. Then; with a sigh Jaehwan leans down and gives Taekwoon a tender kiss, the other letting out a relieved sigh as their lips meet. Then he hugs him tightly, letting himself rest on top of him and resting his head on his chest, head tucked under his chin.

"I’ll do better." Taekwoon murmurs, chest vibrating as he does; an answer to a wish Jaehwan never wanted to say out loud. He feels sorry; for always needing assurance, even though he can’t really help it. Instead of saying something he doesn’t want to hear he lets his arms hug Taekwoon’s so their embrace tightens, and stay quiet. He doesn’t even know what exactly Taekwoon is supposed to do better, but the words console him.

\--

“Taekwoon?” He asks after they’ve been hugging for a while, their breaths turning slow and even as they simply enjoyed the embrace. He only got a grunt in response, making him think that maybe the other was half asleep already. It’s getting late, after all.

“There’s a party the day after tomorrow, will you come with me?”

“What kind of party?”

“Sanghyuk is holding a Harry Potter themed party in his and Wonshik’s place.” Jaehwan chuckles a little at that, finding it cute how Sanghyuk had invited them all to his geekfest, even though him and Hakyeon was the only ones really interested in the franchise.

“Ohh, that.” Taekwoon says with a half laugh, making his chest jump and Jaehwan lifts his head to look at him. He smiles down at Jaehwan. “Wonshik already invited me but I said no.”

“What about now?” Jaehwan asks.

“I’ll go if you want me to.” He answers and a hand strokes Jaehwan’s back pleasantly as he does. He feels happy bubbles in his chest and can’t help but grin, making Taekwoon hug him tighter in response.

“I do.” Jaehwan says cheekily and leans up to give him a quick kiss. “Thanks.”

With that Taekwoon takes a firm hold on Jaehwan’s sides and suddenly he’s flipped over so Taekwoon’s body is resting over him, propped up on his elbows so he can look down at Jaehwan’s surprised face.

“Just for you.” He says cheesily, and visibly cringes at his own line right after – saving himself from Jaehwan’s laugh; he leans in and steals a deeper kiss. A surprised moan escapes Jaehwan and he lets his hands do what they want and sneak their way up Taekwoon’s shirt.

There’s a slight gasp from the other as fingers come in contact with skin and they both look down on Jaehwan’s hands as it makes its way up under and the shirt riding up with it, slowly revealing skin. He feels his muscles flutter under his fingers and it excites him in an unfamiliar way how much the simply touch affects the other.

He hears a huff and suddenly the shirt is gone, Taekwoon pulling it over his head and throwing it to the floor. The sudden exposure makes Jaehwan gasp slightly, but his hands quickly find out what to do as he lets them explore and Taekwoon leans in to kiss him hungrily. Tongue finds its way into Jaehwan’s mouth and he moans into his mouth.

Taekwoon moves his weight to one arm and a hand finds its way to Jaehwan’s abdomen. Pausing both his hands and their kiss, Taekwoon is looking for permission to touch him under his shirt.

Jaehwan gnaws his lips as he hesitates, feeling a little insecure about undressing in front of the other’s impressive body. He finds Taekwoon incredibly hot and he can’t help but feel he’s lacking in comparison. But as he finds Taekwoon’s intense gaze on him and the way he so kindly asks for permission, he finds the courage and starts tugging off his own shirt himself.

Once it’s off Taekwoon is quick to move, hands moving so Jaehwan comes closer to him and mouth finding his neck and his hand explores his sides and chest slowly and carefully. It tickles, and goosebumps form in the most random places, making him gasp a little whenever his long, careful fingers finds the right places to touch.

It’s all very overwhelming, but for once he doesn’t seem like they’re rushing anything and taking their time to get to know each other.

Taekwoon’s mouth finds a certain spot under his ear and a surprised moan escapes him, surprising him and making him blush hard as his abdomen stirs excitedly and his pants become tighter. Taekwoon moans in response and stars sucking at the spot, certainly trying to make a mark. Jaehwan’s hands don’t exactly know what to do, but soon finds hold in the other’s hair. He feels the vibrations of the other’s silent groan as he does.

It makes his pants feel impossible tight and he wants Taekwoon closer, impossibly closer. He ends up whining, embarrassing himself a little but too far to care. Feeling bold; he guides a hand down Taekwoon’s chest and carefully let it find its way to his crotch.

He hears a gasp from Taekwoon and he stops sucking his neck and his head kind of collapses on Jaehwan’s shoulder when he finds the other’s prominent erection through his jeans. The sound and touch goes straight through Jaehwan’s veins and he feels his own erection pulse in his pants.

“Oh God.” Taekwoon breathes into his shoulder, big huffs of hot air making a trail of goosebumps down Jaehwan’s chest. He feels hyper sensitive all of a sudden, even the huffs of air exciting him more. He uses his hand to do an experimental rub on the jeans and a dragged out whine escapes Taekwoon at that. Jaehwan suddenly feels impossibly hot, and he can’t stop his hand from moving on its own to rub the other even more.

“Jaehwan-“ Taekwoon exclaims desperately and Jaehwan is snapped back to the surface and stops his movements. The other leans back to sit upright, still panting and impossibly red on both face and neck. His eyes seem to be burning and Jaehwan finds it incredibly sexy. He feels him stomach coil in excitement as they make eye contact.

Taekwoon’s hands seem shaky as they find the button of his own pants and undo it with a little bit of difficulty. Jaehwan’s mouth goes dry and it takes him several moments to react and move his hands to sit upright, back resting against the headboard of his bed, pillow thrown to the floor.

With button undone and fly open, Taekwoon moves off the bed a only hesitates one moment – giving Jaehwan a quick look for confirmation – before he takes off his pants and underwear in one go. Taekwoon seems so confident where he stands, and Jaehwan can’t help but admire him – looking him over with shiny eyes. His long legs and arms, his toned stomach and the intense look on his face.

“You’re really amazing.” He hears himself half whisper and he chuckles at how ruined his own voice sounds as he says it. That makes Taekwoon shy, and he looks down to the ground instead of at Jaehwan.

Jaehwan’s mind goes almost blank; too many things he wants to do, too much he wants to touch and his pants impossibly tight around his erection. His hands scramble to undo his own pants and then he tries to tug them off but struggles. Taekwoon comes to his aid, hands taking hold of both the pant legs and tugging them off in one hard tug, making Jaehwan laugh as he’s tugged with them a little. He almost hit his head on the headboard, but is quick enough with his arms to support himself and scoop back up again.

There’s a pause then; Taekwoon standing beside the bed, panting and erection on full display and they share a look. It’s as if they’re both asking “ _Are we really doing this?”_ without actually talking.

Jaehwan makes a needy sound, and it’s all the confirmation Taekwoon needs to climb back onto the bed on his knees and catch Jaehwan’s lips with a lustful kiss. Jaehwan moans into it and his hands find Taekwoon’s hair and tugs at it. He’s hot all over, despite being mostly naked, and he feels so excited as if he’s going to burst and it will all just flow out of him in waves as he ceases to exist.

“You won’t believe the things you make me want to do.” Taekwoon pants while looking him directly in the eyes when they part for air, their lips swollen and red and chests heaving for air. The words travel straight to Jaehwan’s erection and it twitches and he lets out a needy whimper at the sensation.

Taekwoon’s mouth finds Jaehwan’s neck again and begins kissing around his neck and chest but Jaehwan is not having it. He’s simply too excited to handle dragging it out more. There is too much heat, anticipation and desperation to do this – so his hand travels down to Taekwoon’s erection and his mouth finds his ear and he whispers; “Make me feel good.” Just as his fingers find his erection and tugs.

Taekwoon makes a choking sound at that and once again he’s left a little immobilized with his forehead resting on Jaehwan’s shoulder and panting heavily, hands moved to support himself on the headboard behind Jaehwan.

Jaehwan keeps the touch light and careful as he moves his fingers along his erecting slowly, but Taekwoon’s reactions are as if he was pumping him much harder.

It takes a few tugs before Taekwoon is able to think and move again, a shaky arm trailing its way down Jaehwan’s chest and then cupping his erection as well through his underwear. The pleasure shoots through him a lot stronger than he thinks and his hand falter its movements.

Just like that they drive each other to the edge with Jaehwan moaning desperately into Taekwoon’s ear as his head in turn rests heavily on Jaehwan’s shoulder until they both reach their orgasms in turn.

Jaehwan quickly retrieve some tissues from a hidden tissue box under his bed and wipes them the best he can while Taekwoon lies sideways against the wall by his side on the narrow bed, completely out of it and still panting quietly.

Tissues disposed of; he turns to lie on his side beside him and studies his face as he feels as if he’s glowing. He feels sated, finally, and so, so happy when he sees the smile on Taekwoon’s face when their eyes meet. He leans in for another small, sweet kiss and Taekwoon hums.

They lie there staring at each other for a while, chatting a little in between both quick and slow kisses, Taekwoon keeping his free hand busy by stroking Jaehwan’s arm – making his skin tingle pleasantly.

“I’d have you stay over, but we have a rule in our dorm against sleepovers.” He murmurs sadly when the time strikes midnight and the alarm he had set on his phone earlier disturbs their sweet moment. The scholarship dorms don’t allow any sleepovers, the security so strict Taekwoon had to register when he arrived earlier that evening. Now that it’s midnight he will have to sign out as well.

The disappointment in Taekwoon’s eyes makes Jaehwan happy, and he can’t keep himself from kissing him when there’s almost a visible pout forming on his lips.

“Come with me?” Taekwoon pleads. Jaehwan has no reason to tell him no.


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Earlier this chapter was missing from the story, disguised as a mistaken double uploading of chapter 6. Sorry for the mishap :(

Come Thursday Jaehwan finds himself waiting outside the school’s recording studio for Wonshik to let him in, another track of his needing a guide voice. He had gone there straight from waking up; the text sent to him in the middle of night asking him to come in the morning, meaning Wonshik has spent another all-nighter in the studio. Sweetened coffee in hand and another ready for the most-likely-zombified Wonshik that awaited him – he lies flat out on the couch in the hallway and waits to be summoned. He knows all-too-well not to enter the studio without being called in, risking to disturb a recording.

Being asked to record was fortunate really, as time in the studio always passes really fast. After his sleepover with Taekwoon, the other had work again so Jaehwan had gone an entire day not seeing him – and he could feel himself craving for his company once more. He had this funny video he found about One Piece he wanted to show him. And so much more he wanted to do. So much more. They will meet tonight though, for Sanghyuk’s party.

He wondered if Taekwoon had even been able to prepare anything in the short amount of time he had. Jaehwan had his costume ready; scarf, cape and wand ready to wear as soon as he came home from the studio.

The door opens and Sanghyuk’s messy head sticks out of the door.

“You can come in now.” He says groggily. It looks like he’s been to hell and back, face drained and sleepy and his hair looking like he’s been running his hands through it ten too many times. Jaehwan gets up and grabs the two cups of coffee he brought with him – both iced in case he had to wait so long a warm coffee would go chill before it even reached Wonshik.

“Been here all night?” He asks and Sanghyuk nods tiredly, blinking very slowly. He kind of looks like he’s going to fall asleep right where he’s standing.

“Going to sleep now, if I’m able reach my bed.” He answers pitifully with a breathy chuckle and Jaehwan offers him a straw to the coffee. Sanghyuk takes a sip and hums gratefully. “Don’t be late tonight.” He pokes Jaehwan in the chest as he says it, and with that he passes him in the door and walks away. Jaehwan shouts a promise that he won’t after him and enters the studio.

He finds Wonshik resting his head in a cradle of arms on top of his keyboard, but as the heavy, sound-proof door slams shut he perks up a tiny bit to acknowledge him. “Hey.” Wonshik says.

“I brought you a coffee.”

“You’re a lifesaver.” Wonshik straightens and groans at the sight of the iced coffee. Jaehwan studies his tired and pale face and frowns in worry. He really didn’t look up for the four hours he had booked Jaehwan for. “Are you okay? Sure you wanna do this now? We could always do it another day, it’s holiday after all.”

Wonshik shakes his head. “I need to get this song out of my system, or I won’t be able to do anything else.” He sighs as he says it, and Jaehwan knows all too well how true it is. Wonshik is never able to let a good idea go before it’s at least a demo. Which is why Jaehwan is called to the studio at all kinds of crazy hours, and he never complains about it. Wonshik can’t help it. It’s just the way it is. So he nods in agreement, setting his worry aside and accepts it. Wonshik looks at him gratefully, clearly not up for a fight about resting and taking proper care of oneself.

“What’s wrong with your neck?” Wonshik frowns at him and asks suddenly. Jaehwan frowns, confused.

“My neck?”

“Yeah, you’re all purple.” Wonshik says in confusion, but then something dawns upon him and his mouth turns into a silent ‘o’. Jaehwan realizes he didn’t even check the mirror this morning to see if his marks had disappeared yet, and goes signal red. Neck, face, ears, everything is red and Jaehwan is trapped as Wonshik starts laughing weakly at him.

“I think you have something to tell me.”

“I really don’t.” He shakes his head, incredibly embarrassed.

“I think you do.” But Wonshik’s knowing smile shows he has already lost this fight. Jaehwan sinks down on a chair in defeat and waits for the questions. He was going to tell him now anyway, but the marks on his neck kind of ruined the moment for him.

“Who’s the lucky one?” Wonshik says, and Jaehwan is surprised at how sweet he sounds. _The lucky one._ Only Wonshik would consider someone lucky to be stuck with him, he assumes. The expression on his face suggests he had some clue of something going on, but how he knew anything is beyond him.

Jaehwan groans, once again not really knowing where to even start. Then he remembers what Taekwoon told him two nights ago, and he knows where it started for both of them; the party two years ago.

\--

“I can’t believe I missed you guys being all lovey dovey in the livingroom!” Wonshik exclaims when the entire story is told. All the way back to the party to Taekwoon’s confession two nights ago. Apparently Wonshik already knew of Taekwoon’s rejected kiss with Hakyeon.

“Yeah where were you?” Jaehwan laughs, remembering how Wonshik had – at the time – actually promised to not leave him alone at his first university party, only to disappear five minutes in. Wonshik takes a moment to think real hard back at the night, spacing out for several moments as Jaehwan watched in mild amusement. His chest feels much lighter now that he has told the two most important people of what happened.

Wonshik snaps out of his trance. “I met Taemin and Jongin!” He almost shouted, victorious. “Man, I totally forgot it’s been that long.”

Taemin and Jongin are Wonshik’s two best friends beside from Jaehwan, both of them students at the dance department in their school and old acquaintances of Hakyeon from his days in dancing. Jaehwan vaguely remembers being introduced to them at the arrival of the party as well, but of course; most of the party is still a blur.

“We ended up sitting in Taekwoon’s room playing old videogames on his Nintendo 64 all night, actually.” Wonshik adds.

“You abandoned me.” Jaehwan fake pouts jokingly and Wonshik can’t help but laugh at him.

“You didn’t suffer from it, I think.” He answers with a wink and Jaehwan turns his chair and gets up, walking towards the recording room. “Let’s get this track done!” He says with a high pitched voice and Wonshik’s hearty, husky laugh fills the room behind him before he enters the isolated recording booth.

\--

That evening Jaehwan waits by the gates of their school to meet Taekwoon and escort him to Sanghyuk’s wizard party. He didn’t have that much interest in Harry Potter, at least not as much as Sanghyuk and Hakyeon, but he had taken a fair effort in dressing up for the party; clad in robe, glasses, lightning scar and a Hufflepuff scarf. He was well aware Harry Potter did in fact belong to the Gryffindor house, but Hufflepuff was the only scarf left in the costume store he had found in town. His scarf is of wonderful quality, though, so he figured he would use it in the winter as well. The robe however, the quality is really bad and he can’t imagine it lasting the entire party even.

There’s a nasty, cold wind blowing, making Jaehwan hug his scarf tightly as he waits, pressing himself to the massive stone gate trying to shield himself from the wind. He imagines it will rain pretty soon as well, and prays Taekwoon will not be late.

Thankfully; pretty soon he sees the tall, broad and speed-walking figure unmistakably identified as Taekwoon coming his way down the street. He kicks himself off the wall with one leg and lightly jogs towards him. He’s almost up in his face before the other, staring at the ground as he walks thanks to the wind blowing in his face, before he’s noticed. Taekwoon’s face lights up when he noticed Jaehwan and Jaehwan’s heart jumps a beat. It feels so good to see a reaction like that, he thinks as he smiles brilliantly and embraces him into a hug.

“How was work?” He asks, even though he doesn’t actually know what his part-time job is. “I got scratched a lot.” He hears Taekwoon say into his shoulder as his arms tighten around him and then let go. Jaehwan frowns in confusion. “Scratched?”

Taekwoon blinks like it’s the most natural thing he’s said. “Yeah. I work in a cat café.”

Jaehwan’s eyebrows fly up in surprise and his face lights up in wonder. It stirs all kinds of images in his head; Taekwoon surrounded by kittens, carrying around cats and sleeping in a pile of them. It seemed just too damn cute. Taekwoon judges Jaehwan’s reaction and then realizes. “I didn’t tell you, did I?”

“You should have mentioned you go around cuddling kittens all day.” Jaehwan pouts comically. “I really want to see that, you know.”

Taekwoon can’t hold back his chuckle and hides his mouth with the back of his hand as he does. “I’m a barista.” He clarifies.

“So you don’t pet cats all day?”

“No.”

“Can I come next time?” Jaehwan wants to see him work, and drink his coffee. If his cooking is anything to go by, it should be pretty good, he thinks. Taekwoon nods that yes, he may, and smiles a shy smile. It kind of melts Jaehwan’s insides to see him smile like that, and he has to take a deep breath to calm down his brain, who’s threatening to explode on him it feels like.

He looks Taekwoon over and, already feeling a little bubbly, he can’t help but burst out in laugh, making Taekwoon frown at him.

“You could at least have put a _little_ bit of effort into your costume!” He bursts out, trying to stifle his laugh with his hand. Taekwoon had arrived with minimum effort; wearing full-black clothes consisting of black jeans and a plain black shirt and black hoodie, and just paired it with the signature Harry Potter glasses.

“Where’s your scar?” Jaehwan asks once he manages his laugh a little better. “And robe?”

Taekwoon frowns at him, looking very confused and a little miffed. “What scar?”

“You know… the lightning scar!” Jaehwan has to fight not to sound judgmental. Taekwoon only blinks at him. “I only noticed the glasses.” He says then and Jaehwan can’t hold himself anymore. He nearly barks a laugh, but thanks to the hand already on his mouth he’s able to keep it down a little.

Taekwoon huffs and walks past him. “Let’s go.”

Jaehwan turns and jogs after his frisky walk, catching up quickly with a hand on his shoulder. “Sorry, sorry, Woonie, I didn’t mean to be mean.” He apologizes. Taekwoon reacts to the nickname and looks at him in surprise for a moment, a slight blush forming on his cheeks. “Woonie?” He blurts out.

Jaehwan gives him a wicked wink and a quick peck on the lips before locking their arms and leading him towards the regular dorms where Wonshik and Sanghyuk’s apartment is located.


	8. Eight

“WELCOME TO HOGWARTS!” Sanghyuk basically screams in their faces as Jaehwan and Taekwoon enter the big apartment, making Taekwoon twitch all over and Jaehwan stare in shock. Sanghyuk’s costume is as on-point as can be, the entire outfit very obviously very carefully planned to look as authentic as possible. Jaehwan notices something very off with it though; he’s clearly not dressed as Harry Potter.

“Uhm… Who are you supposed to be?” Jaehwan manages to ask when he passes the initial shock from the greeting, and Sanghyuk looks at him as if he had said he looked like a beggar. “I’m Malfoy!”

“Isn’t he evil?” Taekwoon says from behind Jaehwan, and Jaehwan turns to look at him in surprise as well. Seems he did some research after all. Sanghyuk turns all happy again at that. “Exactly!”

He certainly looks the part; hair bleached to death to a white blonde and slicked back by incredible amounts of hair gel, scarf with Slytherin colors and the impressive robe he must have spent a fortune on. Jaehwan stares in awe for several moments, until Taekwoon gives him a light push and they make their way into the apartment. Sanghyuk turns with a dramatic throw of his cape and marches proudly in front of them.

“Oh, for fucks sake- Wonshik at least try to stay awake, will you?!” They hear him howl as they enter the impressively large livingroom and see Wonshik half-asleep on the couch – also fully dressed in black robes, but half the effort Sanghyuk had pulled. Wonshik sends Jaehwan a look screaming for help as Sanghyuk’s over-powered hands hit his shoulder and he sends him a pitiful look back. Wonshik had probably barely slept between the studio session earlier that day and the party. Behind him he hears Taekwoon chuckle and turns to see the other looking quite amused. It’s quite adorable, and makes his gut tingle pleasantly.

“Didn’t I invite you to this?” Wonshik asks while looking pointedly at Taekwoon, rubbing his shoulder, Sanghyuk disappeared back through the hallway to the kitchen. “And you said no.” He ends with, actually looking offended. Taekwoon shrugs simply, giving a perfectly innocent look and no answer. It makes Jaehwan strangely pleased to know he only came because he asked him to.

The livingroom has two big couches and Taekwoon and Jaehwan make their way to the one Wonshik’s not currently occupying half of. Taekwoon sit down in the corner seat, crossing his legs and leaning an arm on the back of the couch, and Jaehwan hesitantly sit down in the crook of his arm. A pleasant sigh from Taekwoon gives him the confirmation he needs as he settles into his side, Wonshik staring just a little. Taekwoon stares back and his gaze flickers down on his own fingers. “Who’s coming, anyway?” Jaehwan continues.

Sanghyuk comes back with two big plastic cups in hand. “Hakyeon is of course coming, but he’ll be late because of his play, and Sungjae said he would bring Minh-“ He sees the couple on the couch and stops dead in his tracks and mid-sentence. “Oh.” He exclaims dumbly, staring. Both Jaehwan and Taekwoon blink innocently at him while Wonshik chuckles. Sanghyuk frowns at him. “Is this a thing now?” He asks, motioning between the couple with cup still in hand, drink only just spilling over a little. Wonshik smiles at him amusedly and then he just shrugs, resuming his walk and handing the two cups to Taekwoon and Jaehwan. “Congrats.” He says as he hands them over, and they accept them with amused smiles, Jaehwan barely able to hold back a snort.

“This is alcohol.” Jaehwan exclaims suddenly when he tastes the sweet drink, clearly some spirit mixed with orange juice, and flinches at the taste of alcohol.

“Yeah.” Sanghyuk answers.

“You’re aware we’re not allowed to drink on school grounds, right?” Jaehwan emphasizes with raised eyebrows. Taekwoon only looks at him, face perfectly neutral as he sips his drink slowly.

“Yep.” The younger answers with a wink before turning and walking back to the kitchen. Jaehwan gives Wonshik an incredulous look and he only shrugs. “They never check.” Wonshik states.

There’s rapid knocks on the entrance door and Sanghyuk jogs from the kitchen, only one drink in hand this time, to greet the next guests.

“WELCOME TO HOGWARTS!” They hear him holler again and Wonshik flinches visibly while Taekwoon snorts into his cup.

One hour later Jaehwan finds himself pleasantly buzzed and his abdominal muscles aching from all the laughing he’s been doing thanks to their Harry Potter minigames on Sanghyuk’s videogame console. They had been divided into two teams; Sanghyuk, Sungjae and Minhyuk versus Jaehwan, Taekwoon and Wonshik (Jaehwan was quick to realize he had been stuck with two of the worst players in history, but it was more amusing than annoying), and the game was an interactive game using a sensor camera. In conclusion; it ended up with a lot of waving, screaming, laughing and several punishment-drinks. Jaehwan’s team lost the most, and with Wonshik not drinking alcohol he had been left with drinking almost double the amount – him and Taekwoon sharing Wonshik’s punishments between them. Taekwoon seemed unfazed by the alcohol so far, his long arms just a little more flaily and clingy and his balance a little less impressive.

“No more games, or I will become drunk – and you do NOT want me drunk!” Jaehwan proclaims as he throws himself back onto the nearest couch after their sixth loss. Taekwoon gives him an amused look from where he’s standing in front of Sanghyuk, accepting their three punishment shots of pure vodka. Jaehwan hated vodka. And Wonshik for not drinking. “I’ll let you off with only two shots.” Sanghyuk says while grinning wickedly.

“You’re the devil.” Jaehwan whines and accepts a shot handed over by Taekwoon, still laid back like a sack of potatoes on the couch. He raises his arms high, clanking his and Taekwoon’s shot glasses together and then downing the shot. The liquid almost chokes him in the position he’s in, and he swallows a whole lot of air with it, making him cough hard after swallowing. Rolling over and thus falling to the floor he hears a roar of laughter from the devil and a warm hand gently pats his back.

“You okay?” A soft and welcoming voice murmurs into his ear and Jaehwan’s body shivers, the coughing gone. He pushes himself up to a sitting position and sees Taekwoon kneeling in front of him, looking slightly worried and hand resting on his shoulder – spreading warmth all over. The rest of the room falls away.

“Yeah.” He breathes out in answer and Taekwoon’s frown turns into a gentle smile. “I’m okay.”

“Do you want some water?”

Jaehwan nods weakly and Taekwoon gets up, leaving behind a warm shoulder. Jaehwan lets his head fall back onto the couch behind him. The alcohol is really getting to him at this point, the last shot really going straight to his head and making him even fuzzier. Slowly the surroundings resume around him and he sees Wonshik half asleep on the couch again and the winning team sitting in a circle on the floor in front of the TV playing a card game loudly. He rests his gaze on the doorway to the hallway, waiting for Taekwoon to reappear with a glorious, cold glass of water for his suffering body.

When Taekwoon appears from the kitchen, visible in the doorway, he doesn’t come into the livingroom but walks to the entrance. Jaehwan struggles to get up, but only manages to move himself to sitting on the couch instead of in front of it. When he reappears it’s with Hakyeon following right behind him, waving at the guests enthusiastically. His costume matches Sanghyuk’s perfectly, they probably bought it together, only that he’s clearly dressed up as Harry Potter – scar and glasses in place with a Gryffindor scarf.

“You missed the best part!” Sanghyuk scolds as he’s pulled into a hug by Hakyeon, but he’s smiling anyway. Meanwhile Taekwoon gives Jaehwan his glass of water but doesn’t sit down, much to Jaehwan’s disappointment. He watches him walk away from him to Hakyeon and feels something he never imagined he would feel in his life, because he didn’t see himself the type; jealousy.

Like he’s been injected with poison he feels it spread through him like a black cloud, scaring him. This is not how he’s supposed to be. This is not the person he is. He feels sick, like he’s going to throw up, and gets up abruptly, swaying a little. He walks to the bathroom as fast as his legs can carry him, without being noticed by the others greeting Hakyeon.

He realizes with dread that he’s angry at Hakyeon for not telling him about the kiss. For not even mentioning it to him when he told him he and Taekwoon had gotten together. Did he want to keep it a secret from him? Was it something he really didn’t want Jaehwan to know? And most pressing question of them all; does Hakyeon like Taekwoon now?

If so; how can Jaehwan ever compare?

Self-doubt consumes him like a black beast attacking him as he sits down on the bathroom floor hugging himself desperately, the alcohol clouding his mind terribly, making everything jumbled, panicked.

He feels incredibly confused by his own reactions. His lack of rational thought. Lack of reasoning. Lack of trust in both Taekwoon and Hakyeon. It’s sickening to him; how he immediately doubt them both and selfishly thinks they both will betray him in the end.

Bile fills his throat and he has to scramble to the toilet, emptying his stomach.

\--

“Jaehwan?”

There’s a careful knock on the door and Wonshik’s deep voice penetrates the wood. Jaehwan is back with the door, back blocking it from opening, mouth feeling fluffy and shitty and stomach empty. His mind reeling, too many thoughts whirling for him to focus on a single one – resulting in him just staring at the wall in horror as he holds himself, waiting for the alcohol to leave his blood and leave him alone.

“Are you okay?” Wonshik asks. Jaehwan groans in answer, knowing it’s all Wonshik needs to know. “Okay, I’m getting Taekwoon.” He says and Jaehwan flinches. _No, that’s not what I wanted._

He tries desperately to get up and stand so he doesn’t look too much like a wreck when Taekwoon comes. He checks himself in the mirror and sees with relief that his hair is fine, then scans the contents of the bathroom drawer for mouthwash. “Bingo.” He exclaims as he finds a dusty sample bottle of Listerine and hurriedly fills his mouth with the painful minty liquid.

“Jaehwan?” He hears Taekwoon’s concerned voice and immediately feels like he’s going to cry because he feels incredibly guilty and he wants to go home. _I’m such an idiot._ He tells himself silently with one last look in the mirror and then opens the door for the other.

“Hey.” He tries to not sound too sad when he says it. “Sorry, I just got a little sick.” He stares at the floor, refusing to let Taekwoon look into his eyes. He’s so sure they will reveal everything that just went through his mind while he was in there.

Taekwoon pulls him into a hug and his head is awkwardly squeezed into his broad chest. “Do you want to go home?” Taekwoon asks him quietly. He shakes his head into his chest. “I’ll be fine in a minute or two, don’t worry.” He lies. So easily. When did he become able to do that?

Taekwoon gives him another squeeze and then lets him go. “I’ll get you some more water.”

Then he’s gone, leaving a trace of warmth that quickly becomes unbearably cold.

With Taekwoon gone Jaehwan sees that Hakyeon had been standing behind him. Their eyes met and the apparent worry in his eyes makes Jaehwan even guiltier. Hakyeon is his best friend. He thinks it over and over, convincing himself while Hakyeon watches him quietly.

They wait in silence until Taekwoon return with a water bottle this time, handing it over to Jaehwan with the cap unscrewed. “Drink the whole thing, please.” He pleads. Jaehwan takes it and drinks half of it in one go, his throat feeling parched and icky. It’s unpleasantly cold when mixed with the remains of mouthwash and he flinches visibly at the sensation. Immediately a big, warm hand finds the small of his back and he hears the sound of the bathroom door closing. He lowers the bottle and finds they’re alone in the room, Taekwoon looking cutely concerned with him.

Thanks to the alcohol he can only focus on one thing; how cute he looks when he looks at him with those big, concerned eyes.

“You’re cute.” He slurs and Taekwoon blushes visibly. He can’t be completely unaffected by the alcohol can he? No way.

“I’m pretty sure you’re about to fall asleep on me again.” Taekwoon answers amusedly, tugging Jaehwan closer. Jaehwan takes another sip of water and gives a disgusting pout. “Am not.”

“If I kiss you I’m pretty sure you will.” The sides of Taekwoon’s mouth twitches as he speaks.

“Don’t kiss me, I taste like puke.” Jaehwan grimaces and Taekwoon frowns at him with concern again. “You threw up?” he asks and Jaehwan nods miserably, drinking the rest of the water. “Sure you don’t wanna go home?”

“Two hundred percent.” Jaehwan lies. He wants to go home actually, but he also doesn’t want to be a party-pooper. “Please take me to the kitchen.” He pleads and leans into Taekwoon. Best be close to the water source, he thought. “Okay, if you’re sure.” Taekwoon says with hesitation as he leads him towards the bathroom door with an arm secured around his waist.

Taekwoon sits with Jaehwan in the kitchen in silence for a little while, making sure he drinks water and fetching him some salty snacks to chew on before he’s dragged away by a very obviously hyper-drunk Sanghyuk to play another game.

Left alone in the kitchen with all the alcohol, Jaehwan finds himself reaching for another bottle of liquor and orange juice, feeling much better but still pretty drunk. He has a clear goal in mind; to pass out so his thoughts will disappear and be forgotten. He has never been so drunk he’s forgotten anything since that party two years ago, but he sure as hell knew how to now.

That is, however, until he sees the entrance door open and three unfamiliar faces peek into the apartment and he immediately ducks behind the counter he’s standing behind – out of sight.

“Is the coast clear?” He hears one of them whisper.

“Yeah.”

“Let’s go.”

A wicked giggle and faint footsteps entering the kitchen.

“Shit, they even got vodka!”

“Don’t grab more than one, they’ll notice.”

Jaehwan then understands what’s up. The idiots are there to steal some free alcohol from them.

“OVER MY DEAD BODY!” Jaehwan screams as he jumps up from behind the counter, making all three students scream in horror. Which makes him scream in horror as one of them is close enough to touch him and gives him a faint push to his chest. Balance long since drunk away; Jaehwan falls straight back, the back of his head hitting the kitchen floor and everything goes black.


	9. Nine

_“This is all my fault isn’t it?”_

_“Don’t be stupid, Taekwoon.”_

_“I shouldn’t have let him drink so much.”_

_“That’s Sanghyuk’s fault.”_

_“Is he going to be okay?”_

_“Don’t be so dramatic, he’s fine! Nurse said it herself so stop pacing and sit down already.”_

_“But-“_

_“For fucks sake, SIT!”_

_\--_

Everything is foggy and confusing and _heavy_ when Jaehwan comes back to the world after being out for who-knows-how-long. The stirs a little, his body impossible to move without maximum effort and so stiff it feels like every limb will crack at any movement. His eyes open and he closes them again immediately as they’re attacked by intense lighting, groaning. A twitch in his hand that doesn’t belong to him makes him realize someone is holding his hand.

“Jaehwan?” He hears Taekwoon’s voice speak softly and carefully, and the hand in his squeezes. He groans in answer, mouth incredibly dry and he doesn’t want to try speaking. He turns his head towards the sound and tries opening his eyes again – with more success this time.

His eyes meet Taekwoon’s soft and concerned ones and he feels much better already. “Hey.” Taekwoon whispers, thumb stroking his hand. Jaehwan opens his mouth to speak but it’s so dry he can barely get his tongue free to move. Taekwoon gives a quick frown and gives another hand-squeeze. “Don’t try to talk, I’ll get you some water, ok?” He gives an assuring smile and straightens, turning on an office chair it seems, as he rolls a little away but not letting go of his hand. Long arm stretches to its limit and soon a glass of water is presented to Jaehwan with a pink straw. “Here.”

He takes a long sip, letting it fill his mouth before swallowing with effort and taking another long sip.

“Where am I?” He asks after clearing his throat and emptying the glass.

“School nurse. You fainted.” Taekwoon says, and while if this was Wonshik he would be amused but he only looked incredibly concerned. And guilty? “Nurse says you’re okay, by the way, so don’t worry.” He says then, but Jaehwan can’t help but be worried when the other is giving him a look like that.

He struggles to sit up straight, Taekwoon immediately helping him with pillows and covers. The lighting of the room is still harsh on his eyes, feeling sore thanks to being out with his lenses still in. They’re dry and sore and he wants them out, blinking furiously to try getting some moisture. When having his eyes open doesn’t feel like a struggle he looks at Taekwoon, who’s still staring at him with a permanent furrowed forehead and concerned puppy-eyes, and looks at the hand in his.

“What’s wrong with your hand?” Jaehwan asks. Taekwoon’s knuckles are bruised. Taekwoon’s eyes flash down on his own hand and he tries to take it back but Jaehwan holds him back, refusing to let go. “Did you fight?” Taekwoon avoids eye contact, but his ears turn light red and Jaehwan can’t help but chuckle. “You did!”

“Not really.” Taekwoon mumbles, eyes locked on their hands. He gave up on trying to take it back.

“How many bodies do we have to bury?” He asks jokingly and Taekwoon looks at him with panic for a second, incredibly embarrassed for some reason. Jaehwan finds it incredibly amusing. And cute.

“I didn’t hurt anyone!” Taekwoon sputters, ears signal red by now, and Jaehwan finally laughs properly, out loud. Taekwoon’s head falls down between his shoulders, but it looks like he’s smiling as well.

“You’re too cute.” Jaehwan says fondly and Taekwoon doesn’t look up, but his shoulders come up in a cringe.

“Stop.” Taekwoon pleads, turning the chair from side to side with his body.

“Ohh, you’re up!” A female nurse walks in cheerfully, way too cheerfully considering she’s working a night shift all alone and has to deal with drunk students when she could’ve Netflixed in peace. Taekwoon’s hand in his twitches in surprise but Jaehwan holds it firmly. Thankfully Taekwoon gives up right away and casts a quick smile at Jaehwan. “How are you feeling?” The nurse asks as she approaches the side opposite from Taekwoon with a charming smile.

“My head hurts and it feels like I slept for a week, but otherwise I feel fine I guess.” Jaehwan says, noticing the pulsing at the back on his head for the first time. Hand comes up to touch and he flinches immediately at the contact. He has a bump at the back of his head and he remembers clearly falling to the floor.

The nurse nods and hums approvingly, scribbling on a chart and then signing it. “If you feel dizzy or sick, come back immediately, alright?” She tears the paper and gives him a slip. “This is for your dorm guard.” Jaehwan frowns at the paper slip. Why would he need that? The nurse turns and walks away with quick strides. “You can go home now.” She stops and turns, giving him a look. “No more alcohol on campus, alright? This is a final warning.” Then she walks away.

“Did Sanghyuk get in trouble?” Jaehwan asks, looking at Taekwoon worriedly.

“I don’t know actually, Hakyeon and me brought you here right away.” Taekwoon shrugged.

“Hakyeon was here?”

“Yeah, he left just before you woke up to check on the others.” Taekwoon smiles at him. “He was really worried about you.”

Jaehwan feels a little guilty again, a small seed stinging him in the gut, remembering his thoughts earlier that night. “Sorry for being a bother.” He mumbles, looking down at his hands. He feels like he’s selfishly ruined the entire party for everyone with his own mess.

Taekwoon’s free hand finds Jaehwan’s cheek and turns him to look at him sternly. “Hey, this isn’t your fault. You got pushed.”  Jaehwan’s breath catches in his throat and he feels a familiar prickling behind his treacherous eyes. “I guess, but-“

“No.” Taekwoon interrupts him, leaning in closer to look him deeper in the eyes. Jaehwan falls into them like he’s being hypnotized, body going numb. “Nobody blames you for anything, Jaehwan. Things like this happen, it’s out of our control.” He insists and for once Jaehwan believes him without question. He nods in agreement and Taekwoon gives him a soft peck on the lips, smiling. “Let’s get you home.”

\--

Taekwoon walks him all the way to his dorm, across the large campus from the nurse station, and tries without success to walk Taekwoon past the dorm guard.

“No visitors at night, students.” The guard says strictly as Jaehwan hands him the note from the nurse. He gives it a glance and puts it away. “I’ll come check on you in the morning to see how you’re feeling Lee.” He says absently and waves them away. He stares at Taekwoon until he leaves, the two of them parting with a quick hug.

“I’ll come over tomorrow after work, alright?” Taekwoon promises and Jaehwan frowns at him. “You have work again?”

Taekwoon nods. “I have tuition to pay for.” He smiles pitifully and then waves goodbye. “I’ll text you!” He says and Jaehwan waves sadly, watching his back until he’s out of the hallway doors.

He locks his way into the dorm and finds it with all lights on. The door slams shut behind him and there’s immediately a shout from the livingroom. “Jaehwan?” It’s Hakyeon’s voice.

“I’m home.” He confirms, sticking his head into the livingroom and sees Hakyeon on their couch with Wonshik. “How did _you_ get in here?” He questions, looking confusedly at Wonshik. Since Wonshik is a student from another dorm he’s not allowed to be there, just like Taekwoon.

“I snuck him through the window.” Hakyeon grins and Jaehwan looks at him in shock. Hakyeon is definitely not one to break the rules, to say the least.

“H-how? We live on the second floor!” He sputters, entering the room and walking over to stand in front of them. Wonshik looks impossibly proud. “I climbed the tree.” He says and Hakyeon nods in confirmation, looking proud as well.

“Uhm…  okay, but why?” Jaehwan is confused and his head hurts. There’s a suspicious exchange of looks between the two and Jaehwan thinks for the first time since he’s gotten to know the two that he’s missing out on something.

“I was worried about you.” Wonshik says, but he’s a horrible actor and an even worse liar. Jaehwan grants him the effort though, and pretends to fall for it. “Thanks, I’m fine.” There’s an awkward pause between them and Jaehwan decides to escape. “I’m gonna go to bed now. Good night.” He waves at them and walks to his room on quick feet.

He finds his phone already put in his charger and waiting on the chair by his bed and smiles fondly. Hakyeon must have brought it from the party for him. The notification light is blinking green, indicating a text, so he grabs it as he sits down on his bed. It’s a lot softer than the one at the nurse’s office.

_Woonie – 03:27  
Text me when you wake up._

It’s a simple message from Taekwoon sent only a few minutes ago, but it makes Jaehwan all mushy and almost giggly. He blushes, feeling stupid, but texts back anyway.

_03:41  
Good night Woonie~_

He grins at the thought of Taekwoon’s face when he used the nickname on him the first time, laying the phone aside and lying down on his bed. It feels amazing, the back of his head still pulsing weakly but feeling slightly better from lying down on his pillow. He regrets not undressing before lying down, but ends up being too tired to care. Curling up on top of his beddings fully clothed he falls asleep almost immediately.

\--

“Jaehwan!”

Jaehwan is awakened by Hakyeon violently shaking his side.

“Wake up, you ass!” He’s speaking with a loud bit still hushed voice. In the background Jaehwan registers the sound of their doorbell. _Right, the guard._

The grunts as he opens his eyes and the shaking finally stops, only to be followed by a slap on his arm. “You could have told me the guard would come check up on you!” Hakyeon says and then Jaehwan is dragged up to a sitting position. He’s still half asleep, and his arm hurts.

“You hit me.” Jaehwan whines miserably, slowly waking up. The doorbell rings again.

“Get your ass up and go talk to him so he doesn’t come in and see Wonshik here, you idiot.” Hakyeon takes his arms and pulls him, trying to make him stand up. Jaehwan let’s himself be dragged to the end of the bed limply, feet meeting floor. He’s a little more awake now, the night before sinking back to him and the bump in the back of his head no longer pulsing. Just a dull ache.

“Alright, alright, I’m going, I’m going.” He assures, taking his arm back from the other’s hard grip and lifting himself up to a stand. The doorbell rings two times.

He reaches the hallway of the apartment just as he hears the click of keys unlocking their door and it opens to reveal the guard he met a couple hours earlier. He looks really grumpy and tired, but also a little relieved when he sees it’s Jaehwan standing there in front of him. “Ahh, you’re up.” He grunts.

“I’m feeling fine, sir.” Jaehwan assures him. The guard nods, hesitating a little. “No dizziness?” He asks him and Jaehwan nods. “Nothing.”

The guard actually smiles a little at him and then he backs out of their entrance. “Take it easy, Lee.” He grumbles and closes the door as he leaves.

“Is he gone?” He hears Hakyeon whisper from behind him and turns to see his head peeking into the hallway. Jaehwan nods and smiles and the relief on Hakyeon is clear. That’s more like the Hakyeon he knows; terrified of breaking the rules.

He pads barefoot, his socks apparently taken off while he slept, back into the livingroom, Hakyeon moving away for him to enter and then following behind him, and to the couch. He sits down with a heavy plump and groans. His entire body is aching with stiffness.

“How are you feeling?” Hakyeon asks and sits down opposite from him on the couch, legs crossing beneath him as he sits to face his side. Jaehwan sighs, a little tired of this question already, despite being grateful so many people worries about him. “I’m fine.” He sighs. “Just a little sore.”

There’s a silence between them, Hakyeon clearly thinking of something – judging by his face – and Jaehwan absently listening to the faint sound of Wonshik’s snore-like breathing in their bedroom, the door left open. Did he sleep in Hakyeon’s bed? He frowns, giving Hakyeon a look he doesn’t notice because he’s too busy staring at him hands.

“What’s up, Hakyeon?” Jaehwan asks with suspicion. “I can almost hear the wheels turning in your head.”

“Taekwoon told me he told you about the kiss.” Hakyeon starts, looking at Jaehwan with worried eyes and Jaehwan’s stomach sinks. Hakyeon’s breath hitches as he hesitates. “I’m just wondering if you’re angry at me for not telling you about it.”

Now Jaehwan truly feels like an absolute idiot. He inhales to speak, but isn’t quite sure what to say. He feel ashamed, mostly, feels like he’s been a bad friend. He turns his body to mirror the other’s position on the couch so they’re facing each other.

“I…” He rubs his hands together awkwardly. “Kinda?” He admits with a higher pitched voice. Hakyeon flinches and Jaehwan’s hand come up in defense. “Only for a moment!” He exclaims quickly. “I just… I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me.” He admits weakly and Hakyeon’s expression softens and he looks a little more relaxed.

Hakyeon chews his lower for a few moments, thinking, continuously inhaling to speak, only to stop himself first. Jaehwan waits patiently, a little worried for what’s to come, but much less than yesterday. _Alcohol is the devil._

“First of all; I really didn’t think it mattered.” Hakyeon begins, finally reaching some sort of determination to speak. “It really meant nothing, the kiss I mean, and I know you Jaehwan. I know how you worry.” He reaches over and pats Jaehwan’s thigh softly. “I didn’t want to ruin your moment. You seemed so happy when you told me.”

Hakyeon gives him a careful smile and Jaehwan’s gut stirs with all kinds of things. Guilt, affection, shame… The list is long and jumbled. He kind of thinks he’s about to gurgle instead of making actual words in answer, so he lets his head fall between his shoulders. Hakyeon’s soft hands find his knees and waits while Jaehwan sorts out words.

“You’re a good friend, Hakyeon.” He settles with, speaking softly. “Sorry I doubted you.” He feels like a child.

Hakyeon’s hands squeeze his knees in response. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry too.” Jaehwan looks up and gives a small smile at that, feeling a little better already. Hakyeon smiles back and takes his hands back.

A particularly loud snore from the bedroom makes the both burst out laughing and Jaehwan is once again reminded of Wonshik being in there. “Did Wonshik sleep in your bed?” He asks with his eyebrow cocked suggestively. Hakyeon’s ears immediately redden, hand flying up in denial.

“No! No, no, he’s sleeping on the floor!” He exclaims in panic, but his ears are giving him away. Jaehwan wiggles his eyebrows at him and Hakyeon groans, facepalming. Jaehwan smiles smugly. “Now _this_ is new.”

“It’s nothing.” Hakyeon says from behind two hands now.

“I’m not so sure about that.” Jaehwan chuckles, finding the color of Hakyeon’s ears incredibly amusing.

“Shut up.” Hakyeon groans and Jaehwan can no longer hold back his laugh.

“About time our Wonshik got some action. His lyrics were getting really depressing, you know.” Jaehwan spurs on, to Hakyeon’s absolute agony as he curls in on himself, hiding behind his arms. “Oh my God…” He groans pitifully. “We didn’t do anything!”

“Why not?” He’s grinning wickedly at Hakyeon and he can’t even see it. Hakyeon groans even more, as if he’s in pain. “Please stop, I’m going to die…”

Jaehwan slaps his own thigh as he laughs loudly.

“Aren’t you supposed to be resting or something?” Hakyeon tries to defend and Jaehwan finally gives him some pity, getting up to send Taekwoon that text. He feels much better now, walking to his room with lighter steps.

“Wake up Wonshik, your boyfriend is dying!” He shouts over his shoulder as he passes the opening to Hakyeon’s part of the room. Wonshik seemed to already by partly awake, because he immediately heard a confused “What?” behind him, as well as another pained groan from Hakyeon. Laughter bubbles up in his lungs again and he actually feels pretty great. He grabs his phone gingerly, noticing the time has reached noon already, and types a message.

_12:23  
Good morning!_

_Woonie – 12:23  
You sound happy._

_12:23  
I feel great ^_^_

_Woonie – 12:25  
Good._

_12:25  
You?_

_Woonie – 12:27  
On my way to work._

_12:27  
Should I come too? =D I want to pet kittens._

_Woonie – 12:42  
Get some rest. Come tomorrow. I work late. Alone._

Jaehwan is filled with glee at the thought of seeing Taekwoon surrounded by kittens and making coffee. He pictures him with a cool apron around his waist and almost blushes at how good he must look.

_12:43  
OK ^_^When are you coming tonight?_

_Woonie – 12:45  
I’ll be there around 9.30._

_12:45  
Do you want to eat?_

_Woonie – 12:45  
Are you cooking?_

_12:46  
No way. I was thinking of ordering Chinese?_

_Woonie – 12:46  
Sounds good._

Jaehwan’s fingers hesitate to type, heart beating a little at the thought of what he wants to write. Is it too much? He doesn’t want to come off too clingy. He writes and deletes four times before he finally sends it with his eyes closed.

_12:50  
See you tonight~ Miss you~ _

His heart beats hard while he waits and he kind of feels like a little teenager again while he stares at the phone resting in his sweaty palms.

_Woonie – 12:59  
Miss you too._

His heart surges and he falls back on his bed with a groan, his gut twisting in every direction from longing. He wishes Taekwoon was there with him right away. Instead he has to wait more than eight hours for him to come. Feeling like there are ants crawling in his blood he flails his arms and legs frustratingly, whining.

“What’s up with you?” Wonshik says from the door opening, finally up and walking. Jaehwan sits up to look at him with a dramatically pained expression. “I need something to distract me for eight hours.”

Wonshik blinks. “Play a videogame or something.” He shrugs and is about to walk into the livingroom before he stops in the door opening, fingers tapping the frame. “By the way…” He lingers on the last word. Jaehwan cocks an eyebrow. “What.”

“No, I just…” Wonshik hesitates, leaning his forehead on the door frame as he thinks. “Did Taekwoon tell you anything about last night?”

Jaehwan’s stomach drops in worry. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he kinda flipped out when you fainted.” While Jaehwan almost expects his friend to give him a grave ‘your-boyfriend-is-crazy’ look, he gives an amused smirk instead. Jaehwan is confused.

“He scared the living shit out of those students you busted.” His friend chuckles, remembering. “He even punched the wall so hard he bruised his hand! You should have seen their faces, it was priceless!” Jaehwan hears Hakyeon laugh from the livingroom, himself just gaping slightly at Wonshik.

“I don’t think those kids will be breaking into any more dorms in the near future, judging by how fast they ran away from him.” Hakyeon calls out so Jaehwan can hear him. He thinks back at the bruised hand and it all makes sense. Also how flustered he seemed when he asked about it. He probably felt embarrassed by how he reacted. He can’t help but find it incredibly endearing.

\--

_Woonie – 9:24  
I’m downstairs._

_Woonie – 9:25  
I don’t think the guard likes me. He won’t let me in._

_Woonie – 9:30  
Jaehwan?_

He checks his phone to see the three messages from Taekwoon and jumps out of bed in record time. He had spent a couple of enjoyable hours watching anime after taking a nice, warm shower and changing into more comfortable clothes that he had not slept in, then fallen asleep on top of his beddings again. The notifications on his phone woke him up, but only after the third try.

He types while he struggles to shuffle on some slippers and leave the apartment.

_9:33  
Sorry! Omw!_

When he comes down to the dorm’s entrance hall he sees Taekwoon sitting with his phone on a bench beside the guard’s office, clearly relieved to see him as he jumps up and walks over right away. Jaehwan takes an arm around his waist and walks over to the guard with determined steps.

“Sir, why wouldn’t you let him in?” He asks, trying to sound both polite and irritated at the same time. It’s a different guard from the night before, looking at him with a very bored look. “He’s not a student.” He answers simply. Jaehwan raises his brows, annoyed.

“We’re allowed to have visitors freely during the day, why can’t he just come up when you let delivery guys walk around as they want?” He lectures and the guard just looks at him with a very unimpressed look. “I don’t make the rules.”

Jaehwan huffs, frustrated, but Taekwoon’s arm comes around his shoulder and tugs him away from the window. “Let’s go.” He murmurs. Jaehwan gives the guard one more look and lets himself be guided away.

“I’m sorry you had to wait, I fell asleep.” He apologizes.

“Don’t worry about it.” Taekwoon gives him a kiss on the side of his head, sniffing his hair again. There’s a hum and Jaehwan chuckles lightly. “You really like my shampoo, don’t you?” Taekwoon immediately leans away, clearing his throat and not looking at him even though Jaehwan tries to make eye-contact. He gives him a playful bump with his hip and Taekwoon bumps back without a word as they walk.

They enter the apartment and Jaehwan finally realizes Hakyeon and Wonshik are no longer there. Quickly finding a menu among many on the fridge door, they order a selection of Chinese dishes.

As soon as Jaehwan sets away his phone on the counter after ordering, Taekwoon’s long arms find their way around his waist as he hugs him from behind and his chin comes to rest on Jaehwan’s shoulder, nuzzling his neck. Jaehwan shudders at the feeling of the other’s breath on his neck and unconsciously tilts his head to the side to give more access. Taekwoon takes the invitation and leaves a very small kiss right beside his Adam’s apple, making Jaehwan’s breath hitch a little at how his entire body tingles from the touch. His hands find Taekwoon’s arms and squeezes, the arms around him tightening their hold in return, pushing Jaehwan into his chest as close as possible.

Kind of locked in the position they rock to the sides for a few moments before Jaehwan subtly start leading them towards the couch, their feet awkwardly moving not to stumble as Taekwoon refuses to let go until they’re there.

Jaehwan takes Taekwoon’s arms and untangles himself to turn himself around and face him. Once he’s turned him the way he wants, he pushes Taekwoon down to sit on the couch and their eyes meet. Taekwoon’s eyes are dark, deep and anticipating, his mouth slack and breathing coming out in huffs, neck flushed red. Jaehwan’s body feels hot and electric, the hairs in his neck raised and his skin hyper aware of every touch.

Taekwoon’s arms come out and tug at Jaehwan’s carefully, and he remembers he has a functional body and climbs onto his lap slowly and carefully, knees on either side of Taekwoon’s thighs and the other’s hands immediately coming to a rest on his thighs. He hears Taekwoon’s labored breathing clearly; hitching every time Jaehwan moves to make himself comfortable on his lap. Every time his breath hitches something jumps in Jaehwan’s gut.

Taekwoon is impatient, so as soon as Jaehwan finally settles on his lap a hand comes up to Jaehwan’s neck – giving him an electric shock that makes his breath hitch as well – and pulls him in for a kiss. Jaehwan’s hands fly up to the other’s neck for support. Tongue licks its way across Jaehwan’s lips and he opens to let him in with a quiet moan.

His mind is reeling, not able to focus on anything but the sensation of Taekwoon’s lips on his, the strong grip on his neck and the other hand currently making his thigh feel feverish. His heart is racing like it’s about to jump out of his chest and as they continue kissing he forgets that air is a thing. His lungs start aching and he pulls away with a gasp, straightening his back to breathe more easily and Taekwoon’s hand falls from the grip on his neck. Taekwoon’s head fall forward and comes to a rest on his chest, panting loudly and chuckling a little, his shoulders shaking with him.

The hands on each of Jaehwan’s thighs are shaking too and he realizes with a little bit of amazement that Taekwoon might be nervous, just like him. He had never even considered he could be. The hands hold onto his thighs weakly as the other catches his breath with his face hidden. Jaehwan caresses the hairs on the back of his head slowly while he waits, his pulse refusing to calm down.

He wonders if Taekwoon can hear his heart through his chest. He kind of hopes he does, so he would know how he’s affecting him. A heartbeat can’t lie. Can’t be faked.

He moves his hand from Taekwoon’s hair to the chest and feels for his heart. He gasps softly when he feels the clear, fast beat of his heart right under his palm. Taekwoon lifts his head and looks and him fondly, eyes a little dreamy, and a little less shaky hand comes up to caress Jaehwan’s face. Jaehwan blushes at the sweet gesture, smiling shyly and leaning in so their foreheads are touching and closes his eyes. They stay like that in silence for a while, lost in each other, minds numb and empty.

It feels as if time is standing still.


	10. Ten

Taekwoon has a lot of scars from cats scratching on his arms. His ribs are extremely ticklish. He has a mole behind his ear that he didn’t know about. He loves when Jaehwan grabs the hair in the back of his head. If his neck is scratched it’s covered in goosebumps within seconds. He likes it when Jaehwan strokes his hair.

These are just some of the things Jaehwan finds out as they kiss just about everywhere in the apartment. On the couch, on the kitchen counter, Jaehwan’s desk, at some point they were on the floor too, and now; on the bed.

Jaehwan’s lips hurt. A lot. He was kissed out, as he had called it. So they had stopped, settled with Taekwoon lying on his back on the bed with an arm resting behind his head and the other working as a pillow for Jaehwan - Because, you know, it’s not like he has an actual pillow or anything – as he lies beside him with one hand slowly stroking Taekwoon’s stomach. They had come to a rest in this position, Taekwoon humming pleasantly with his eyes closed and Jaehwan silently watching him, occasionally sharing his thoughts out loud.

He had told him about Hakyeon and Wonshik, the image Wonshik climbing the tree to get in seemed to amuse him, he had shared with him the love he had for his favorite artists, they had agreed to exchange iPods because it turned out they both were still using them instead of converting to music on smart phones or streaming. It was so calm and so pleasant, the moment they were having and eventually they fell silent.

Taekwoon is one of the few people who can make Jaehwan stop talking without asking. And be happy about it.

Jaehwan almost falls into a slumber when Taekwoon sighs and makes him open his eyes and look at him again, their eyes meeting. It’s almost like he can see the thoughts flickering behind Taekwoon’s eyes. All the words he left unsaid with his silent personality. What would he find if he could read minds?

“I was so lonely before I met you.” Taekwoon says so silently it’s almost a whisper. Jaehwan stops breathing. “It felt like I was slowly disappearing from the world, and honestly I kind of wanted to.” Jaehwan’s heart seems to stop, aching painfully. The thought of him not being there invading him and a wave of despair hits like a punch in the gut. “Nothing seemed to matter anymore, but then I met you again and I was instantly reminded.”

Tears form behind Jaehwan’s eyes and he has to blink to try make them stop, his breathing returning to him with a silent gasp. Taekwoon’s eyes have caught his, and even though he can blink, he can never look away. “Somehow you remind me of all the things I want to do and why.”

He pauses, thinking carefully, reading Jaehwan’s frozen reaction who is trying his best not to breathe too loudly because he doesn’t want to miss a single word. Doesn’t want to disturb the moment. His entire body has stopped, paused, to listen.

“I feel that it’s important that you know.” Taekwoon moves his body to lie sideways like Jaehwan, startling him with the movement, so he comes closer to him. “This. You. Us. I’m not taking it lightly.” He can feel his breath on him when he’s talking; he’s that close to him. It’s like he’s entering Jaehwan’s mind, speaking within his head on not into his ear. His eyes are just so incredibly intense to him.

“I hope that’s…” Another sigh and Jaehwan can see him struggling with the words, carefully picking and selecting them in his head. “I hope you’re okay with that.”

Jaehwan’s lungs fill with all the air in the world in one long, shaky inhale, because that’s how much air he needs to make his brain work again. To even process what he heard, what he feels, how overwhelming all of it is to him. He feels too small to contain it all, surely he will explode? Right there; in front of Taekwoon who is looking at him with those eyes.

His lungs can’t contain more air, they’re completely filled up, so he lets it all out at once. He’s almost too scared to say anything. He wishes he has Taekwoon’s ability to choose just the right words to say at the right moment.

The silent pause is getting long, Jaehwan turning a little desperate to fill it. There’s not much he can think of to say at the moment, his mind reeling at light speed and his body threatening to explode as well, but there is one thing he knows for sure.

“Yes.” He says, and it feels so incredibly lacking after what Taekwoon just told him that he ends up hiding his face in Taekwoon’s arm-pillow, groaning with embarrassment. He kind of want to laugh, it would certainly help lessening the pressure in his chest at the moment, but he’s pretty sure that’s not the proper reaction to this. He can’t even look at him, it’s too much.

“I can’t even start to think of what to say, Taekwoon, I’m too damn happy to function right now.” He ends up whining and half-laughing at the same time. It sounds really weird, but he hears Taekwoon chuckle and feel much better about it.

“Yeah?” Taekwoon questions.                                                                                                   

“Why are you so good at this?” Jaehwan shoves him lightly with his free arm, making him laugh more and he kind of wants to open his eyes and see. “I can’t top that!” He hits his arm with his own head repeatedly.

“You don’t need to.” Taekwoon says softly and Jaehwan can no longer keep his eyes closed. He has to look at him. And when he does his heart jumps in his chest because he’s _grinning_ and even his eyes are smiling and Jaehwan’s brain just stops working all-together. He wants him to smile forever. He doesn’t need a brain anyway.

Somehow he is able to form words, tongue apparently still functioning. “No, but I feel like I do.” He insists. “You need to know that I-“ The words come out of him like it’s being pushed. With his brain cut off he’s speaking with absolutely no filter. No fear. Purely with his heart. “I’m falling in love with you.”

Taekwoon stops grinning and seems to stop breathing.

“Fast.” Jaehwan adds. “Really fast.”

As if they were not already intense before, Taekwoon’s eyes intensify as he seems to freeze in time for several moments. Jaehwan’s heart is running a marathon in his chest, his breath short and coming out in huffs.

Then suddenly there’s a hand at the back of his neck pulling him in and Taekwoon is kissing him with a lot _more_ than ever before. He can’t explain what, it’s just more. He gasps into his mouth and he swallows it greedily, moving Jaehwan over to lie on his back while he slowly comes on top of him with his upper body, arm moving out from under his head. He welcomes it all, letting everything else go.

Jaehwan’s hands grab at his shirt desperately to have something to hold on to, soon moving on to grab onto Taekwoon’s body instead to bring him even closer. He needs him closer to satisfy the intense want he’s feeling. Taekwoon has no trouble obeying him, pulling away from the kiss for a moment to move his leg so he’s completely on top, leaving Jaehwan a few seconds to catch a few breaths, before he’s back to kissing him again.

Taekwoon’s t-shirt slowly rides up as Jaehwan’s fingers find their way to more skin and he wishes Taekwoon would touch him too, but his hands are busy holding him up so he’s not crushing Jaehwan completely. Jaehwan wants him to touch him so much he starts whining into his mouth, so Taekwoon pulls away again to look at him in question.

A trembling exhale from Taekwoon’s mouth tells him he’s just as nervous and excited.

A suggestive pull at his t-shirt tells Taekwoon all he needs to know and gets rid of the clothing quickly, tossing it somewhere to the floor. It’s not even Jaehwan who is bare skinned and exposed to the air of the room, but he shivers anyway at the sight – his abdomen stirring, head going hot and mouth dry. He almost whines again, but isn’t able to react properly before fingers find the hem of his t-shirt and suddenly his abdomen is exposed and his fingers grip the sheets desperately as he moans at the sensation of lips on the sensitive skin. His stomach is trembling, a thing he didn’t know it could do on its own but it definitely was because his invisible abs are _dancing_ and it feels strange but good and his mouth is certainly letting Taekwoon know how his feather-like kisses feels.

He struggles to stay still and let him do what he wants, but in the end he has to give up. He’s getting really hard and he needs friction of some kind, any kind, so he lifts his thigh up along the inside Taekwoon’s and he hears his breath hitch. He’s not the only one who’s excited, clearly, as their eyes meet and Taekwoon’s eyes are dark and intense when Jaehwan carefully rubs his knee along his crotch.

Excitement soon turns into dread in Taekwoon’s eyes when they hear the sound of a door being unlocked in the hallway, the door to the livingroom carelessly left open between kisses, and the loud conversational voices of a certain roommate and his two friends bickering make them freeze and stare at each other in a moment of panic.

“I still can’t believe you tried to bribe the guard, Sanghyuk, your punishment would have been much less if you just accepted it right away!” Hakyeon’s nagging voice becomes loud and clear due to his raised volume and Taekwoon snaps out of his shock. With a high-pitched unintelligible sound he flops down beside Jaehwan on his stomach and successfully hides both his boner and bare chest from the world while looking like he’s asleep. Jaehwan doesn’t move and makes himself comfortable, hiding his own crotch by lifting his leg casually and rests one arm behind his head for comfort. He can’t help but chuckle quietly at the sound his boyfriend made, looking at him lovingly.

“I get it, I get it, can you both please stop bothering me about it?” Sanghyuk’s voice drifts closer.

“I told you to let me handle it, why do you never listen?” Wonshik’s there too, sounding genuinely frustrated with his younger cousin. That didn’t happen often; he always had a soft spot for him.

“He doesn’t care, that’s why.” Hakyeon enters the bedroom and stops in his tracks when he spots Jaehwan. “Hey!” He exclaims happily, then he quickly spots Taekwoon too and his eyebrow shoots up in suspicion. “Did we…disturb you?”

There’s a very low whine from Taekwoon being made into the sheets that only Jaehwan can hear as he quickly tries to save them by motioning for Hakyeon to be quiet with a finger to his lips and then pointing at the seemingly sleeping body beside him.

Hakyeon’s mouth turns into a perfect o-shape and he quickly reaches the close the door behind him, the sounds of Wonshik and Sanghyuk still bickering being muffled, and then tip-toes to his part of the room.

“It’s more convincing if you snore.” Jaehwan whispers jokingly and the body beside him bounces once, most likely caused by a scoff, and then a muffled “shut up”.

With his crotch finally back to normal appearances Jaehwan rolls off the bed and takes a quick stop at his wardrobe mirror to fix his messed up hair and then to find Taekwoon’s t-shirt and throw it at his back, before he moves to find out what the others were talking about – his curiosity getting the best of him.

He throws a look into Hakyeon’s part of the room and sees him coming towards him in a new change of clothes, the sweats and t-shirt he usually sleeps in. “What’s up with Sanghyuk?” He asks him and Hakyeon gives him an exasperated look and wraps an arm around his shoulder and leads him out of their bedroom silently.

In the livingroom the two cousins have stopped talking and made themselves busy with their phones sitting on separate ends of the couch. Hakyeon and Jaehwan stop in front of them, Jaehwan feeling slightly awkward from the unfamiliar mood in the room, and Hakyeon turns to him. “Our genius here decided that instead of accepting his original punishment for bringing in and consuming alcohol in the school dorms, which is just a simple mark on his school record, it would be a great idea to try bribe the guard into letting him go with a warning – earning him a night in the detention room.”

“We have a detention room?” Jaehwan blurts out.

“We do now.” Wonshik says flatly and turns to look at Sanghyuk pointedly. “You know your mom is going to blame me for this, right?” He says and the younger’s stubborn face starts looking like he’s actually feeling a little guilty. “I’m sorry.” He says quietly, meaning it, and Wonshik finally looks like he’s a little pleased and Hakyeon’s stance relaxes noticeably. “How many times do I have to say it?” Sanghyuk adds tiredly and Hakyeon walks over to pat his shoulder, smiling. “We needed you to mean it at least once, that’s all.” He says and Sanghyuk nods in understanding.

“How was sleeping in the detention room?” Jaehwan asks and the grimace Sanghyuk makes as he thinks about it is almost answer enough. “They didn’t even give me a bed! He threw a futon on the floor of a small storage room and told me to sleep there.” Sanghyuk whines and Jaehwan is glad he could not see the very slightly pleased smirk on Hakyeon’s face where he sat on the armrest beside him.

“That’s what you get for messing with the guards.” Wonshik tells him with a much lighter tone as Sanghyuk admits defeat, collapsing back on the couch and leaning his head back on the backrest tiredly. He probably didn’t sleep much.

In the background Jaehwan hears the faint sound of his phone’s alarm going off and checks his wristwatch. “Time to leave, boys. Visiting hours are over.” He sighs and walks back to his room to chase out his own guest. He can’t help but curse the strict rules of their school dorms who’s forcing him to chase away his friends and boyfriend at midnight even on a holiday.

Taekwoon looks like he’s actually fallen asleep when he comes over to his bed to find him completely still and breathing slowly and evenly, the t-shirt even still resting on top of his bare back. It takes a lot of willpower to bring himself to wake him by shaking his shoulder carefully, kneeling so he can look at his face. “Hey, Woonie, you need to wake up.”

The other makes a quiet whining noise and frowns at him without opening his eyes, making him chuckle lightly. “Too cute” he sighs and shakes him again. “Come on, you need to go.”

“Make me.” Taekwoon mumbles stubbornly with one eye open and looking at him and Jaehwan chuckles again. Knowing exactly what to do; he tickles his ribs with feather-like fingers and the other immediately squirms away from him with an alarmed shout while Jaehwan laughs his heart out in sheer joy.

\--

It’s with butterflies in his stomach and a stupid grin on his face Jaehwan enters the cat café Taekwoon works at. Taekwoon had told him he was closing that night and told Jaehwan to come pick him up at closing time so they could go to his dorm together. Jaehwan did not want to miss the chance of seeing him work and being around kittens, so he arrived at 9pm, an hour before closing time.

A small bell rings as he opens the door and is immediately greeted with a sight that looks like a cat’s ultimate playground. There’s couches, chairs, toys everywhere, dens, boxes, tunnels, platforms up along the walls and nice, natural dim lighting as well as the light streaming in from the streetlights outside the big wall-to-wall windows. The café is on the 2nd floor above a bookstore in the small shopping street of the small town center area located between the two school campuses. There’s four other guests there; a straight couple sitting in a couch chatting, the girl with a small black cat sleeping in her lap as she pets it mindlessly, and two more girls playing with a big, furry and grey cat on the middle of the floor – surrounded by all kinds of toys.

In the far back of the room there’s a coffee bar and Jaehwan sees Taekwoon standing behind it. He had started calling out the moment he heard the sound of the bell above the door, calling “Hello, welcome to-“ before he cut off when he recognized Jaehwan. His face lighted up again when he saw him, which still gave off the most amazing warm bubbly feeling in Jaehwan’s stomach, and smiled warmly while Jaehwan looked around the café before making his way over to him.

“This place is really cool.” He says once he reaches the bar and Taekwoon motions for him to move over to the very end of the bar, where they enter and exit the closed off space, and gives the four customers a quick glance – all of them with their back turned towards them and too busy with the cats or each other – before giving Jaehwan a quick kiss on the lips, surprising him a little. He blushes furiously, standing a little frozen but smiling nonetheless.

“You’re early.” Taekwoon states, but he seems pretty happy. Judging by the smile he’s still not able to get rid of. “I wanted to see you work.” Jaehwan answers with a light shrug. “And pet cats.” He adds and Taekwoon huffs amusedly. “What do you want to drink? It’s on me.” He asks then.

Jaehwan thinks for a moment, taking a side look at the menu hanging on the wall beside him, then gets an idea. “Surprise me.” He gives a cheeky smile at that and Taekwoon huffs again. “Just don’t give me caffeine. It’s too late for that.” He adds and then turns away from him, very pleased with his cliché request, to find a cat to pet.

He ends up exploring for a little while to find a cat interested in him while Taekwoon prepares his mystery drink. There were three cats sleeping peacefully on the couch facing the window wall and they seemed too peaceful to disturb so he moved on. In the artificial cave slash tunnel behind it however, he finds a big, fat, orange cat wandering on one of the many paths along the cave wall.

“Hey buddy, nice to meet you.” He greets the cat and it stops moving to turn around and look at him with a very grumpy-looking face, tail waving from side to side. He reaches out his hand to let the cat smell him, and it immediately bumps his head on his hand and lets him pet his head. “Ohh, you wanna be friends?” He strokes it across the back and the cat looks very pleased. “Yeah, let’s be friends.” He smiles and pick up the cat carefully, carrying it out of the cave.

He brings the cat across the room to a pair of comfortable looking chairs closest to the bar and sits down carefully and places it in his lap, the cat circling his lap a couple of laps while he pets its back before settling comfortably, purring when Jaehwan starts scratching the head.

“You made a friend?”

Jaehwan looks up and sees Taekwoon standing in front of him with a big glass of something brown on a tiny tray. With Taekwoon stepped out of the bar area Jaehwan finally sees the apron he has tied around his waist and appreciates the view for a moment – his brain singing at him that he looks very good while his cheeks warm up a little. “Yeah, I think he likes me.”

“Marshmallow doesn’t get much attention. He only likes men actually, he runs away from the girls.” Taekwoon says as he sets the drink on the table beside his seat. “Not that many guys come here.” He adds and reaches out to give Marshmallow a quick scratch behind his ear, the cat purring extra loudly as he does. Even though; Jaehwan can’t take his eyes off Taekwoon. “I’ll have to start coming more often then.” He says quietly and Taekwoon chuckles as he straightens back up. Then he gives Jaehwan a pet on his head too and he blushes for real.

It’s like Taekwoon also realizes what he just did and awkwardly takes back his hand and avoids eye contact as he moves the drink from the tray he had set on the table and picks up the tray. “I made you a dark chocolate milkshake. It’s not even on the menu.” He says simply and walks away, Jaehwan studying his back as he does. He wants to touch him. Lately it’s all he wants to do.

He likes the way Taekwoon walks, because despite his somewhat shy demeanor he always walks with unbeatable confidence. When his jeans are tight enough he looks like a model, at least that’s what Jaehwan has caught himself thinking several times. Staring; his hand had stopped moving and Marshmallow hits his palm hard with his head from the loss of scratching, pulling him out of trance and back to looking fondly at him. “Sorry Marsh, I got distracted. You understand, right?” He coos quietly, but knows Taekwoon can hear him. He wants to look for a reaction, but doesn’t want to be obvious so he resists the urge.

“Tell me Marsh, what does Taekwoon do when there are no customers here?” He asks the cat fondly, starting an entire conversation with him. “He starts singing, you say? I would like to hear that. He only sang to me once so far. Yes I know! It’s so unfair, he should sing more.” He gives Taekwoon a look and catches him watching them blankly with a very slight curve of his lips, hands kept busy folding flyers (something he must be doing a lot because he doesn’t even look). “What was that? He dances too?” Taekwoon’s brow quirks as if he’s half amused half baffled. “I would love to see that. Take a video next time, will you?” He looks back at the cat, as if he’s listening closely to what he was saying. “You don’t have phone? Sheesh, they’re so mean!”

He hears Taekwoon chuckle and can’t help but laugh himself, looking back at him to see if the chuckle came with a smile. He didn’t want to miss any more smiles than he needed to. Taekwoon smiling is like a shot of happy set right into his chest and it feels wonderful.

“It’s not like he’s answering you.” Taekwoon says, voice giving away his amusement. He’s done folding flyers and is stacking them neatly by beating them onto the bar with ease, strays neatly coming into place.

“Ohh, but he is! I’m very good at understanding purring. It’s like deciphering Morse code.” He grins back at Taekwoon and the other dips his head while shaking it, shoulders jumping in a silent laugh while Jaehwan’s body flutters happily.

The rest of the place had fallen away from them he realizes when a customer comes up to the bar to buy cat treats and he almost jumps at the sight of another person coming into his view. Blushing; he keeps his eyes on Marshmallow and sips his drink quietly while he waits for the girl to walk away again. He wants them all to leave so they can be alone with the cats and maybe hug or kiss, at least be within touch. His fingers twitches and he wishes they were in Taekwoon’s hair, the pleasant feeling on hair strands sliding between them clear in his memory. Without knowing it; he sighs heavily as the girl passes him and earns a look from her before she’s gone.

“Bored?” Taekwoon asks from behind the bar, arms folded and seemingly having nothing to do. Jaehwan shakes his head. “I just really want to hug you right now.” He admits, the table he’s sitting at close enough to the bar for him to speak a little hushed and Taekwoon still being able to hear him. Taekwoon looks at him for a long time, looking like he’s contemplating something, eyes holding onto Jaehwan’s. Jaehwan gets too curious. “What’s going on up there?” He asks and Taekwoon squints at him, teeth gnawing at his lower lip and Jaehwan wants to get up and kiss him right there. It takes a lot to stay seated as he waits for an answer.

“Nothing.” Taekwoon says in the end and breaks eye contact. Jaehwan gives him a suspicious look. “Lies.” He says and Taekwoon huffs, eyes on the floor, hands rearranging things behind the bar. “Were you thinking of kicking out the customers?” Jaehwan suggests jokingly and Taekwoon huffs a single chuckle.

“Ohh, I see, you were thinking of something racy weren’t you?” He smirks, voice lowered, and Taekwoon freezes for a second. Jaehwan can see the tips of his ears turning red before the other turns around with his back to him and starts wiping the shiny and clean coffee machine with newfound determination.

As much as the thought of the other thinking of such things while looking at him makes him excited, he can’t help but burst into laugh – scaring Marshmallow off his lap, the cat far gone within seconds as he darts across the floor. “No, Marsh, come back!” Jaehwan looks at him run away, disappointed, his lap feeling oddly cold with the furball gone, his pants covered in cat hairs he tries to brush away with little success.

“I think we made him jealous.” Jaehwan states, slurping his milkshake.


	11. Eleven

The arms on the clock reaches closing time and Jaehwan finds himself on a mission. Taekwoon is collecting all the other cats to place them in their cages in the back, not allowed to walk around freely without someone watching them, while Jaehwan is assigned with what the other said was the most difficult task; catching Marshmallow.

“He knows when it’s closing time, so he hides.” Taekwoon had told him while placing a handful of treats in the palm of Jaehwan’s hand. There had been a glint of amusement in his eyes and Jaehwan knew he was in for a challenge. But he kind of likes challenges.

“Where is my favorite furball?” Jaehwan coos when he enters the cave he found the cat in at first. The cat had been nowhere to be seen for at least half an hour before closing shop, so the cave made sense as a good hiding place. “Marshmallow? Do you want some candy?” He tries to sound as nice as possible.

But there is no Marshmallow in the cave. Or on top of the cave. Or under the couches. Or the tables. Jaehwan thinks he’s been looking absolutely everywhere by the time Taekwoon comes back from locking up all the other cats and making sure they’re good for the night, still looking quite amused as he sees Jaehwan’s frustrated face.

“No luck, huh?” Taekwoon says with a smug smile that makes Jaehwan want to jump him. “Are you sure he didn’t get out with the customers?” Jaehwan asks, genuinely worried. He had been too busy watching Taekwoon behind the counter being increasingly clumsy thanks to him staring at him work. It had included a lot of blushes and Taekwoon crouching behind the counter to hide for several minutes.

Taekwoon shakes his head. “I’ll show you where he hides.”

He takes Jaehwan’s hand and leads him back to the cave. “I already looked in there!” Jaehwan exclaims, but they continue walking until they’re inside the darkness – Taekwoon’s grip firm and warm around his hand. “You didn’t look closely enough.” He argues softly, hand reaching out for the wall and sliding along it until their silence is interrupted by an angry snarl. A cat’s snarl. And Jaehwan gasps in surprise, Taekwoon’s grip on his hand tightening for a moment before letting go and reaching out into the dark with both hands. “I always find him hiding here.”

Out of the darkest corner of the cave, in a gap between the decoration and the actual wall of the room, Taekwoon pulls out a very displeased cat with effort. Now Jaehwan knows where the scratches on his arms come from. But thankfully the cat quickly goes limp in Taekwoon’s arms as he’s cradled close to his chest and carried away, Jaehwan following close behind.

“How did he fit in there? He’s huge!” Jaehwan says as they enter the back room for the cats – the hole was much, much smaller than Marshmallow. Taekwoon sets him inside one of the generously spacious cages covered in blankets and equipped with toys and drinking bottles hanging for them to lick on. “You’d be surprised how small he can be if he tries.” Taekwoon says and locks the cage. “Let’s go.” He adds and slings an arm around Jaehwan, turning him around to walk away in the process. He switches off the light as they exit the room, the door left with a slight gap.

“Are you hungry?” Taekwoon asks when they’re outside and the door is locked behind them. Jaehwan nods, stomach kind of rumbling at the thought of dinner. “Will you cook for me?” He asks cutely and Taekwoon has to look away from him. “What would you like?” He asked while keeping his eyes forward, leading Jaehwan towards his school with a relaxed arm on his shoulders.

Jaehwan thinks for a moment thanks to being given the opportunity to actually choose any food for the first time since the last time he was home with his mother, which had been quite a few months by now. He hums while he thinks, the two of them walking in leisure speed along the streets of the humid evening turning to night. “Right now I’m really craving pizza.”

He could see how tired Taekwoon is after working. His eyes are heavy, his steps tired compared to his usual determined walk. As much as he wants his cooking, the clock is closing up on midnight and he doesn’t want him to feel like he has to cook for him when he’s not really up for it.

“I don’t have an oven.” Taekwoon says.

“I meant we should order one and pick it up on the way, stupid.” Jaehwan pushes into him while hands are feeling around his jacket pockets for his phone. Taekwoon exclaims a genuine ‘ah’ of realization, making Jaehwan laugh breathily, and blushes very slightly – still refusing to look at him but his ears are giving him away.

Jaehwan quickly calls up a pizza place located a short walk from where they are and is told to come pick up their spicy beef pizza with extra cheese in twenty minutes. With time to spare Taekwoon casually leads Jaehwan towards the park marking the center of the small town center, all the stores located around it like a wall.

The humidity is sticking to them uncomfortably and Jaehwan starts to fear it might start raining – neither of them had an umbrella at hand. He glances at the sky anxiously and sees no stars and the faint outlines of clouds in the darkness.

He feels Taekwoon’s grip around his shoulders tighten and he looks at him curiously for a second, only to have him look intently at something else, then follows his eyes to see what – then the faint sound of voices approaching them. A group of male students joking and laughing. Taekwoon steers them to another path without a words, and Jaehwan lets him.

The path leads them away from the main part of the large park, into a zone dedicated to preservation of the local symbol; the pine tree. It’s a compact forest of sorts, the tight concentration of trees turning the ground under a dark black in the dark of night, when the grass elsewhere in the park held a pleasant blue-ish green. The path parted the forest into two halves, but the trees had grown above the path to make a tunnel. It’s intimidating to a certain degree, but Jaehwan is soon left feeling very safe in Taekwoon’s arms. He wonders if he possibly could have the effect on the other as well, and looks up at him for a moment to see if he looks afraid.

He catches Taekwoon looking at him with a warm smile, but this time he doesn’t flinch away – instead he leans in for a quick peck on the lips as if he had been waiting for him to look up.

Suddenly blushing, Jaehwan looks away after the peck while Taekwoon keeps looking at him, his thumb mindlessly rubbing at Jaehwan’s shoulder. A movement in the forest catches Jaehwan’s eyes and his heart jumps dramatically for a quick moment before he realizes what it is.

“Look, there’s a deer!” He exclaims with a whisper, body bumping into Taekwoon for attention and forcing them both to stop walking, as to not scare the animal away. He hears a gasp from him and feels immediate satisfaction from the sweet sound. It sounded so much like a child, coming from such a big man.

The deer is small, leisurely walking through the small forest, across the path far in front of them, close to one of the few lit lanterns along the otherwise very dark path.

It stops walking with a start and both Jaehwan and Taekwoon suck in and hold their breath at the same time, all four eyes glued on the beautiful animal.

The air seems very still and almost as if it’s choking them, until there’s an unidentifiable crackle of sorts around them and suddenly the rain is pouring down on them in a flash, the humidity dissolving. They gasp. The deer runs off into the trees.

Within seconds their clothes are wet and the rain roaring around them mercilessly, but even so; the two of them just look at each other in awe – as if they can’t quite believe how magical the moment before had felt. Taekwoon’s arms were no longer around Jaehwan’s shoulder, but held out as if trying to catch the raindrops – his shoulder raised from the sudden cold shower.

There’s a twitch in Taekwoon’s body when their eyes have been watching each other for several moments, but a moment of hesitation gives Jaehwan the window he needs to act first; he throws himself at the other for a passionate kiss, absolutely overwhelmed by everything around him and inside him. Taekwoon’s arms come around him and pull him tight, mouth hard on Jaehwan’s as he deepens the kiss right away.

They part when there’s no more air in their lungs and despite panting, Jaehwan starts laughing. He’s freezing, his body feels like he’s about to electrocute something and his mind is reeling – but he feels incredibly happy. So happy he can’t keep it in. It comes out of him in bubbly waves as he laughs until his stomach aches and so loudly it sounds kind of mad. But it’s okay, because Taekwoon is laughing with him. Just as loudly. Looking just as happy and throwing his long and lanky arms around Jaehwan again to kiss him once more.

They can’t kiss, because they can’t stop laughing.

\--

The worker at the pizza restaurant gives them a look as they come through the entrance completely soaked, still kind of coming down from their fits of laughter and their shoes making squeaky, wet sounds with every step they take on the floor. They leave tiny puddles behind them and can barely hold their laugh at how comically the worker looks at them. Thankfully, with effort, they’re able to pay for the pizza (Jaehwan insists on paying, since he got a free milkshake earlier. Taekwoon tries to argue he didn’t have to pay for it either.) and carry it back outside. The flash of rain has calmed down considerably, but – despite being considerably reduced – is still quite the downfall.

Protecting the pizza from the drops of rain priority number one; they half-run to Taekwoon’s dorm, occasionally falling into new fits of laughter that left them hunched over in pain from the ache in their abdomens for several moments, before moving on again.

Jaehwan cannot remember any time during his time in school more happy than this. Nothing could compare to the loud, clear sound of Taekwoon laughing and the absolutely blinding smile he was now showing him with no restraint and no hands covering it. His teeth were showing cutely, and his eyes disappeared into thin lines as his cheeks stuck out like big, round, tiny buns.

He looks so adorable that Jaehwan is almost left dumbfounded when he finally takes a moment to just watch the other when they reach the door of Taekwoon’s dorm building and they both stop to catch their breaths.

He wants to jump him right then and there, the affection he feels a strong tug in his chest and his lungs stopping their function. It’s almost painful; the pull within him. He feels as if he’s about to be sucked into the other and simply become a part of him. No earlier happenings in his life seem of importance. This moment seems like the most important time of his life. And Taekwoon. Taekwoon is so important he feels as if he would disintegrate if he was to somehow cease to exist.

His hand reaches out for Taekwoon’s free hand when he stops laughing, and he takes it tenderly to squeeze. He is there with him now. Taekwoon turns serious when he catches Jaehwan’s eyes and all earlier struggles to stop laughing are forgotten. He pulls Jaehwan in for another kiss, holding out the pizza box away from them to not block their bodies to collide together one more time.

Jaehwan can breathe properly again, but is shivering all over, all the way into his bones, but he feels like a burning flame. He knows for sure now, the overwhelming feeling within him giving him the clearest answer he could ever wish for, that he is no longer falling in love. He has fallen. And he is terrified and excited all at the same time.

“Let’s go in and get you dry.” Taekwoon says with clear worry when he feels Jaehwan shivering into his body. “Yeah.” He answers and his teeth start to rattle as he’s led in through the door and into the dorm apartment, warmth from inside hitting them in the face the moment the door opens.

The pizza is abandoned on the kitchen counter and Jaehwan is guided all the way into the bathroom, his body stiff and shaking and his clothes completely soaked.

“I’m not letting you catch a cold.” Taekwoon mumbles more so to the world than him as he shuffles through cupboards for the right towels until he finds a storage of gigantic beach towels in really stark colors. A huge image of palms aligning a beachside unfolds in front of Jaehwan, completely covering Taekwoon’s body when he holds his hands above his head and grunts with effort.

“Wait-” Jaehwan says weakly before the other can wrap the towel around him. “We need to get our clothes off first.”

Taekwoon stops walking towards him with the towel and drops it to the floor, then immediately starts to strip. With great effort he’s able to raise his t-shirt above his head, the material glued to his body, and looks at Jaehwan not moving. Jaehwan can’t move. He’s too cold. The burning within him stopped and he was consumed by the reality of his cold limbs when they entered the bathroom.

Without a word Taekwoon walks over and carefully strips him of his soaked clothing before he’s done with his own clothes. T-shirt slipped over his head, arms coming up with a bit of coaxing, pants tucked down to a wet pool on the floor, loose underwear following with it as if attached to the pants. All the while Jaehwan’s teeth won’t stop rattling, his jaw shaking uncontrollably.

He feels even colder naked, wants to curl in on himself completely and find some kind of warmth from within, but Taekwoon is quick to lead him into the shower and the warm spray of water. It burns, painfully, but he welcomes it with a groan. Seconds later Taekwoon is right there with him, hugging him from behind so he comes under the spray as well. Jaehwan leans into his hard chest and can feel him trembling through the arms around his waist. He lets his head fall forward so the water streams down his neck and down his sides and Taekwoon’s chest.

His teeth stop rattling and he hears Taekwoon’s soft sigh in his ears and he wants to sleep.

Their bodies warm up slowly, Taekwoon occasionally arranging them to let the water spray on neglected limbs. Jaehwan comes back to his senses, though his mind is still very sleepy, and reaches for the shampoo when Taekwoon turns him to stand face-to-face. Moving the only-slightly taller student out of the spray, he lets his hands massage his hair with the shampoo – his stomach fluttering weakly when Taekwoon closes his eyes and moans softly at the light massage.

Taekwoon’s hands come to rest on Jaehwan’s hips and Jaehwan takes his time to properly massage his scalp. When he’s done he steps back, Taekwoon following without being told so, so the spray hits the shampooed head and rinse out the white foam. He runs his hands through Taekwoon’s hair as its washed and then when he’s done he reaches for the shampoo again, but Taekwoon snatches it first and returns the favor without any words.

The massage he gives feels wonderful and he can’t help but close his eyes and enjoy every second of it, wanting to whine in protest when he stops and tugs him into the spray of water. Instead he’s surprised to feel Taekwoon’s lips on his and arms coming around him to pull him as close as possible, before he could even reopen his eyes.

It’s a tender kiss; slow and soft, tongues kept in their mouths, but Jaehwan feels the effect as if he’s been kissed with full vigor and tongues anyway. His abdomen is stirring from having the other naked and so close to his own body, their privates touching and Jaehwan can feel absolutely every drop of water drizzling down his back after hitting the top of his head. He gasps away from the kiss, blushing hard because he’s not sure this is the kind of effect Taekwoon wants to inflict on him right now.

Big hands rub out the rest of the shampoo in Jaehwan’s hair and the water is turned off, no longer as warm as before, while Jaehwan stares at the bathroom floor in slight shame. But Taekwoon’s hand cup his face to make him look at him and gives him another quick peck. _He really likes kissing._

“Let’s eat.” Taekwoon says with a warm smile, eyes glimmering and his wet hair sticking into all directions but still somehow making him look even more stunning than when styled.

They exit the bathroom feeling warm, fuzzy and dressed in matching pairs of grey sweatpants and big, aged t-shirts from Taekwoon’s excessive storage of comfy clothing cleverly kept in a basket in the bathroom. (Taekwoon had told him he usually wore them after showers, so he wanted them kept close – despite Hongbin frequently stealing them without asking) The pizza is long cold, but not damaged by the rain so they microwave it and settle gingerly on the stools by the raised kitchen counter. The stools are pulled as close to each other as possible so their bodies are touching while they sit side-by-side and enjoy the pizza, both of them hungry like animals.

In other words; the pizza is gone within few minutes and they end up sitting on their chairs with a glass of water each, knees bumping together as they turn their stools from side to side.

“I listened to your iPod on my way to the café.” Jaehwan eventually said. He had seen Taekwoon’s iPod, that he left behind for him, on his desk when he was about to leave and grabbed it on a whim, curious to what kind of music the other liked. “Your taste in music is so varied.” He mused. It seemed, when he scrolled through the artists, that Taekwoon enjoys very varied genres of music. He had stumbled upon everything from the generic popular pop artists to underground rappers Wonshik had never told Jaehwan about, to rock and even some metal.

“I enjoy all music, I like to think.” Taekwoon answered seriously, and Jaehwan can’t help but find him kinda cool for it. And he feels kind of embarrassed over the obvious preference to great ballad singers and mainstream hiphop his iPod will reveal.

“Did you listen to mine yet?” He asks; kind of hoping he hasn’t, but also that he has so he can hear his opinion right away. Taekwoon nods and hums with a small smile.

“I listened to it when I went to bed last night.” He answered. “Can I keep it a little longer?” He added and it was a lot more gratifying than any other review he might be able to give. He wants to hear more of the music Jaehwan loves and listens to every day, the music he sings when he practices his vocals and the music he listens to when he needs to be alone or when he feels lonely. His iPod is an extension of his soul, he’s always thought.

“Yeah, of course. Keep it as long as you want.” He grins back and Taekwoon smiles happily and Jaehwan’s chest tugs at the sight. That smile will be the end of him, he thinks as he admires it with next to no subtleness. His face must be extremely obvious, because when Taekwoon’s eyes are back from being thin lines he takes one look at Jaehwan’s dumbfounded face and looks away quickly with a slight blush.

“No, don’t look away-“ Jaehwan exclaims, hand coming out to grab Taekwoon’s arm and turn him back around on the turning stool. “Smile one more time for me.” He says shamelessly and he swears he hears the other gurgle, so he laughs. A breathy laugh that only he has - and it makes Taekwoon turn around to look.

He’s kind of smiling, but trying not to. Jaehwan is pleased anyway and grins back, his hand on Taekwoon’s arm flexing in response. “I feel really happy when you smile.” Jaehwan says, and he knows he’s being gross but he doesn’t care. Taekwoon laughs at his words, blushing even more, and turns away on his chair to climb off.

Hand comes out and takes Jaehwan’s and then he’s pulled out of his chair and towards the bedroom. He’s pulled down onto the bed beside Taekwoon, then Taekwoon moves halfway on top of him and leans in for a long, deep kiss. Jaehwan’s hand come up to grab at his hair, like he now knows he loves so much, and pulls a soft moan out of Taekwoon’s mouth when he tugs the hairs in the back of his head.

Their kisses become heated, Taekwoon occasionally moving away from Jaehwan’s mouth to leave kisses on his neck, his jaw, mouthing at his ear – making him gasp quietly and hand tugging at the other’s shirt – and then returning to his mouth to kiss him even deeper.

Jaehwan feels like he’s been worked through a slow foreplay all evening, from the moment they saw each other at the cat café, and has no patience left for lengthy kissing sessions. He pushes forward, letting his hand travel down Taekwoon’s chest when he’s busy marking his neck and pulls the shirt upwards to show what he wants. Taekwoon takes the hint; pulling away from him to shed the clothing without hesitation and then doing the same to Jaehwan’s.

He’s about to lean in for another round of kisses when Jaehwan stops him with a flat palm to his chest and then tugging at the sweatpants. Excitement roars through Jaehwan’s veins at the thought of Taekwoon not wearing underwear, and him too.

Taekwoon hesitates for a moment, a double take in his breath before he exhales shakily. He then rolls over on his back and sheds the sweatpants with a hurried motion and revealing a half hard cock.

Jaehwan’s abdomen stirs excitingly, and quickly he sheds his own pants and climbs to sit on Taekwoon’s muscular thighs before the other can move. The other’s eyes widen in surprise, but also darken with clear lust. His hands are trembling when they reach out for Jaehwan on top of him, and Jaehwan takes one of them in his own and strokes it with his thumb tenderly.

He can tell he’s nervous, and so is he. They have come this far now and he knows he is one step from no turning back.  
  
"You really want this, right? I’m not, like, pushing you into something you’re not really up for?" He asks with insecurity while he chews his lips and looks into Taekwoon’s intense eyes. He looks a little taken aback by the question, and Jaehwan almost mistakes it for hesitation - but then he finally finds his tongue.  
  
"I- uhm, obviously-" He stutters, face turning wildly red as he gestures to his own crotch. Jaehwan looks down and Taekwoon’s embarrassment gets too much, so he whines and lets his head fall back, hitting the mattress, with his eyes pinched closed as if he’s in pain.  
  
Jaehwan looks at Taekwoon’s almost fully grown erection with a building, twisted sense of pride. Taekwoon is panting from the embarrassment and everything else.  
  
"You like me that much?" He asks softly, almost feeling like he’s begging and he’s unable to mask it from his tone. Taekwoon’s eyes open and he’s very serious. His pupils are blown and his gaze is hot and intimidating. Jaehwan suddenly feels smaller. Taekwoon traps his eyes with his own.  
  
"More." He says with absolute certainty. Jaehwan’s entire being flutters, and he almost feels a little faint. Suddenly a hand seizes his neck and he’s pulled into a hard kiss, and carefully turned around to lie his back down on the bed, the older man climbing on top of him. Wrapping Jaehwan’s thighs around him own and making him moan hotly into his mouth. Assured; Jaehwan relaxes into the touches of the other and lets him take complete control.


	12. Twelve

Jaehwan feels as if he’s about to burn up and turn into a black skeleton. Everything feels blazing hot on his body, every touch from Taekwoon lighting a new source of heat on his body as if he was burning him with a torch. Only; it wasn’t painful. Well – maybe – because it feels like it will never be enough. With each touch he wants more. The closer Taekwoon is to him, the closer Jaehwan wants him to be.

He moans desperately at the sensation of Taekwoon filling him up and his mouth marking Jaehwan’s collarbone with enthusiasm. He hears the sounds of Taekwoon’s labored breathing, the sounds of skin meeting with each slow thrust, Taekwoon’s moans and his hot breath on Jaehwan’s skin.

It’s been so long since he let anyone this close that he’s almost forgotten how good it feels to have someone want him just as much as he wants them.

Eyes meet and Taekwoon’s rhythm falters a little, making Jaehwan whine but he doesn’t stop looking into Taekwoon’s overwhelming eyes as they speak to him silently. It’s like hypnosis; his eyes so full of emotions and things he finds difficult to say out loud. Jaehwan takes it all in, mouth slack and hanging slightly open as he pants quietly.

“Don’t stop.” He begs breathily, so close to the edge he wants to grab hold of Taekwoon’s hips and shove him back in to tip himself over into the anticipated bliss.

Taekwoon’s head drops down to support his forehead on Jaehwan’s chest, Jaehwan’s hands finding Taekwoon’s hair and tugging, then he thrusts hard once – twice – trice – grunting quietly with effort. His hips stutter and the hands keeping him up on each side of Jaehwan clench hard at the sheets as he comes with a silent shout, back curling and teeth scraping the skin on Jaehwan’s chest.

For a desperate moment Jaehwan is about to beg for him to start again, but before he’s able to Taekwoon is thrusting again, riding his orgasm with increased speed and determined to get Jaehwan over the edge. Sweat drips from his forehead and onto Jaehwan’s chest.

It’s very effective – Jaehwan’s arms pinning Taekwoon’s body into his as he comes with a deep moan, eyes widening at the force of his long-delayed orgasm as the stars above them seems to glow brighter. Taekwoon had insisted on taking it slow, on taking his time to show Jaehwan how much he likes him, and it pays off tenfold when Jaehwan’s hips stutter from the waves of pleasure rock his body hotly and the sound of Taekwoon’s pained moans as his muscles clench around the sensitive cock still inside Jaehwan.

“No.” Jaehwan stops Taekwoon when he tries to pull out and eyes widened with shock and glazed with pleasure meets Jaehwan’s. A silent question is carried over without the need for words and Jaehwan answers with a roll of his hips, making Taekwoon choke on his own spit before he leans in for a kiss.

“Anything you want.” Taekwoon murmurs into his ear as he repositions himself a little higher up on Jaehwan’s body so he can rest his face in the crook of his neck. Jaehwan’s chest is covered in red marks, nipples sore from harsh attention from Taekwoon’s tongue and teeth. Jaehwan moans at the sound of his voice and rolls his hips into Taekwoon, making the both fully hard again.

\--

“Oh God.”  Jaehwan exclaims with a slight laugh as he comes down from the high of his second orgasm in a row, Taekwoon lying on his back beside him – completely exhausted, panting softly, drenched in sweat, body sticking to his sheets like glue.

“What is it?” He questions softly.

“I feel this might have been a mistake.” Jaehwan stares at the roof. His heart is racing, a laugh is bubbling at his chest, threatening to come out of him in bursts. Taekwoon’s head whips to the side to look at him in nervous surprise, suddenly tense. “What?”

Jaehwan turns his head to the side to look at him too, flashing a wicked grin. “Now that I know what this is like with you, I’m afraid I’m gonna turn into an addict.”

Taekwoon blinks silently two-three times, staring at Jaehwan who is just about to burst into a full laughter-fit – but then Taekwoon beats him to it with a breathy chuckle, turning Jaehwan’s feelings into something far better than laughter. He can’t keep himself away, hands automatically reaching for Taekwoon and his body rolling to his side to come closer to Taekwoon. He kisses the breathy laughter coming out of Taekwoon’s mouth.

“No seriously, don’t expect me to keep my hands off of you at any circumstance. I’m going to crave for you all the damn time from now on.” He says, trying to looks serious but pretty sure he looks like he’s joking. He’s not really joking.

“Sounds good to me.” Taekwoon looks him in the eyes as he says it with a smile, then leans in for another kiss on the lips. Carefully.

“I don’t think you know what you’re talking about.” Jaehwan murmurs softly, his entire body stirring with all the possible feeling he could feel coming at him all at once. He wants to leap into the air and scream, sure the feelings would make him explode into a million twinkling stars because there is no way a person can contain this much happiness in one body.

Taekwoon’s eyes flicker down do Jaehwan’s lips and a big, warm palm comes to rest on Jaehwan’s naked hip. “I think you’re underestimating me.” He murmurs and the hand on Jaehwan’s hips tugs him closer and lips find each other one more time.

Both of them completely exhausted and sated, they kiss slowly for a little bit – hands stroking each other softly and soft words of appreciation shared between them shyly, Taekwoon surprisingly the one to have the most to say.

“Thank you for coming to the café.”   
“I’m so glad I met you again.”  
“I haven’t been this happy in a _very_ long time.”

Each time he said something new into the silent darkness of Taekwoon’s small bedroom, Jaehwan felt the seed Taekwoon had planted within his heart with a small kiss two year ago grow impossibly bigger, taking up more space than anyone else had ever done. Words bundled up in his throat and he felt almost bad for not being able to say everything on his mind. He felt the words all gather and become stuck in his mouth like a dam.

Struggling with forming coherent sentences in his head, Jaehwan stutters while Taekwoon’s nose tickles the line of his jaw on his way back from murmuring directly into his ear. When dark and lazy eyes meet his silently, Jaehwan’s head clears up into absolutely nothing.

He simply can’t think.

“H-how-“ He huffs. “How are you so amazing?” He almost starts laughing again and Taekwoon’s eyes crunch up as he blushes and laughs, head falling down in the process.

“I’m really not.”

“No, but you are. Where are your skeletons? Do you have a sixth toe or something?” Jaehwan jokes, pretending to peek at Taekwoon’s toes. This causes Taekwoon to laugh properly, then flinching when Jaehwan’s hand tickles his rib teasingly. “At least you’re ticklish.”

Taekwoon rolls away from him to get away from his tickling fingers with an urgent sound escaping his lips, Jaehwan finding the sound absolutely adorable. Next thing he knows a pillow crashes into his face and Taekwoon is standing beside the bed with a fond smile on his face when Jaehwan throws the pillow away – a failed attempt to throw it back at him as it only falls to the floor beside him.

“You’re amazing too, you know?” Taekwoon says then, looking straight at Jaehwan – who is pouting because of his failed revenge. He gurgles and turns around onto his stomach, burying his face in the sheets. “Shut up.” He groans and behind him he hears Taekwoon’s wonderful chuckle. He feels as if his entire body is blushing red.

The bed dips beside him and Taekwoon starts tracing feather-like kisses up his back silently, making Jaehwan’s breath hitch and goosebumps spread over his skin. Taekwoon kisses his way all the way up to Jaehwan’s neck and then leaves a long kiss on Jaehwan’s shoulder, Jaehwan keeping completely still and letting him do what he wants with him.

Taekwoon’s forehead leans onto Jaehwan’s head so his mouth is close to Jaehwan’s ear. A shiver spreads through Jaehwan’s body at the feel of his breath on his neck.

“I don’t think you understand how much you affect me, Jaehwan.”

Jaehwan stops breathing, his heart picking up its pace rapidly, almost to the point of his chest hurting. His hearing is so focused and the room so quiet that Taekwoon’s next quiet murmur almost sounds loud.

“I feel as if I would die if you ever stopped smiling for me.”

Jaehwan’s muscles act on their own, turning him so he can face Taekwoon’s emotional gaze and gasp a “me too” into his mouth before their lips clash together and his fingers desperately tugging at Taekwoon’s hair.

\--

It’s in a blissful haze Jaehwan walks back to his dorm the next afternoon, on his way to have a shower and change into new clothes before meeting Wonshik in the studio to help him record a guide track.

He and Taekwoon had fallen asleep in each other’s arms and then spent the entire Sunday morning up until now rolling around in bed together, only eating cereal and snacks stolen from Hongbin (“He won’t mind.” Taekwoon had assured.) all day while talking about their favorite tracks from each other iPod’s. They showed each other music videos to said tracks on Taekwoon’s tablet, never actually leaving the bed (after doing a very necessary sheet change first thing in the morning) and never actually getting properly dressed. Through Taekwoon’s window they watched the rain come and go in several intervals, the clouds making it dark despite being daytime. Wind howled through vents and they huddled together under Taekwoon’s blankets gingerly, stealing warmth from each other by always keeping impossibly close.

When he had to leave to go help Wonshik, Hongbin had been seated in the kitchen and watched them with very clear amusement in his eyes and Taekwoon giving him looks that could kill – so he didn’t say anything about it and only offered Jaehwan to borrow his umbrella. “It’s fine, I have two.” He assured when Jaehwan tried to protest.

“Did something happen?” Wonshik asks him with a cocked eyebrow when he enters the studio at 6PM, newly showered and in his own clothes again. He looks at Wonshik in shock for a split second before managing to pretend to be cool and shrug. He had specifically asked Taekwoon not to make marks on his neck again.

“Nothing special. Why?”

“I don’t know. You seem different.”

Jaehwan laughs nervously and Wonshik’s mouth forms a perfect ‘O’ and turns back to the monitors behind him with a reddening blush. Jaehwan gives no comment, just sits down and clears his throat.

“Where’s the lyrics?” He tries to ask casually and Wonshik hands a curled and coffee stained paper with handwritten scribbles all over it to him, three full paragraphs circled with red pen and the words ‘verse 1’, ‘chorus’, ‘verse 2’ written in red beside them on top of other gray-colored scribbles. He takes a quick look at the lyrics and gives Wonshik a look, pride for his friend swelling in his chest.

“These are pretty good.” He smiles at his best friend and Wonshik’s neck turns red, hand coming up to rub at it right away.

“Really?”

Jaehwan gives him an annoyed look. “Yes, really. Your writing got a lot better lately.” He kicks Wonshik’s chair with his leg as he speaks, shoving him away by a few inches. He wonders silently if the lyrics are about Hakyeon, if something more has happened between them or not. He’s been too wrapped up in himself to even pay any attention to the two. He doesn’t want to pry, so he keeps his thoughts to himself for the time being. Asking Hakyeon might even be a better idea.

Wonshik’s eyes glitter in gratitude and pride when he finally gives Jaehwan a look back instead of staring at his fondling hands in his lap. “Thanks, I’ve been trying really hard.” He admits.

“Your hard work is paying off.” Jaehwan assured him. “Now, let’s get to work. We don’t have much studio time left, right? How’s the melody? Ballad?”

Wonshik shakes his head. “I tried to make something more uplifting this time. I’m taking an EDM class next term, so I’m trying to experiment with what little I know about it.” Jaehwan nods in acknowledgement, pretty sure that Wonshik’s definition of knowing little about something is more than enough to make an awesome song.

He’s proved more than right when a simple but very catchy trap beat thunder their way through the powerful studio speakers and Jaehwan’s smile turns into a full grin.

“I love it.” He gives Wonshik a friendly punch in the shoulder. “You talented little shit.” He laughs when Wonshik blushes happily. “Are you rapping on it too?”

Wonshik nods. “In the intro.”

“I’m glad you called me. It’ll be fun to sing this, I think.” He gets up as he speaks, ready to step into the recording booth and pour his heart out. It’s a happy song, perfect for his current mood.

“We only have time for a verse and maybe the chorus today, unfortunately.” Wonshik says with a sigh, running his hands through his greasy hair and setting it up in a ridiculous-looking pony tail, his hair so short it just pointed straight up like an antenna. Jaehwan can’t hold back his chuckle at the sight.

“You underestimate me, my friend. I’m not called the God of recording for nothing.” He poses like a superhero as he says it, knuckles on his hips, legs wide and nose high, voice made to sound like a cartoon character. Wonshik barks a loud laugh, hand covering his mouth and chair squeaking in panic at his abrupt motions. Sanghyuk had once jokingly called Jaehwan the God of recording once when he was able to do an entire song in record short time, only needing two or three takes to satisfy the meticulous Wonshik who usually drove Sanghyuk completely mad with his nitpicking. More than once had Sanghyuk come over to Jaehwan and Hakyeon’s apartment in rage to let out steam from his older cousin’s picky producing, refusing to return to their shared apartment until the guard called up to notify them of the rules.

Said picky producing leaves the last verse yet to be recorded when they run out of studio time and is forced to pack up their stuff and leave the room for the next student who booked it. Wonshik is new to EDM and takes his time to experiment with Jaehwan’s wide range and long experience in singing, not rushing anything since it’s not an assignment with a deadline he’s working on.

Jaehwan had a lot of fun singing and enjoyed his time fully – dancing and jumping around to the heavy beat between his vocal parts, Wonshik grinning and nodding his head on the other side of the window into the recording booth. Jaehwan had plenty of happiness to release after all and the lyrics were about the happiness of being in love.

He parts with a very tired but happy-looking Wonshik outside the Music department building - close to Wonshik’s dorm, far from Jaehwan’s – and walks home with Hongbin’s umbrella opened up even though it’s barely raining and the cool wind is making the raindrops hit his thin bomber jacket and jeans from the side anyway. The umbrella only helps protect his hair all the way across the big campus until he arrives at his dorm and walk up the stairs with heavy feet.

He walks into the apartment to find the lights on in the kitchen and two boxes of take-out chicken resting on the counter, a big bottle of soda and two paper cups beside them.

“Hakyeon?” He calls out into the silent apartment, but there has been no apparent sign of life since he walked in. Coming into the bedroom he glances to Hakyeon’s completely dark side of the room and then sees the nightlight on his own side is on. And on his bed; Taekwoon lying casually on his back, a comic book that belongs on Jaehwan’s desk in hand and looking at him with a completely neutral look on his face.

“How did you get here?” Jaehwan splutters, gravitating towards him with a tug in his heart. He sits on the side on the bed, takes away the comic book and sets it on the chair beside his bed with the page Taekwoon had read to face-down, and leans in for a soft kiss.

Taekwoon sighs pleasantly and his hand comes to a rest around the back of Jaehwan’s neck, thumb mindlessly stroking. “Hakyeon let me in.”

“It’s late, you’ll have to leave again soon.” Jaehwan glances at his watch, suddenly feeling a little miserable, but Taekwoon only smiles. Jaehwan looks at his smile in confusion, then gasps sharply. “You didn’t-“

“I climbed the window.”

“Hey! That’s dangerous!” He hits Taekwoon’s arm, the smack ringing loudly in the quiet room, and Taekwoon twists away in makeshift pain – hugging Jaehwan’s pillow. Without thinking; Jaehwan’s hand makes its way to the other’s hair and strokes it softly. It’s slightly moist and feel velvet soft as he threads in through his fingers and Taekwoon sighs pleasantly into his pillow, taking a deep breath.

“Your bed smells nice.”

“What?” Jaehwan exclaims, hand pausing. “It doesn’t smell like anything?” He doesn’t even have nice-smelling fabric softener like Hakyeon has.

“It smells like you.” Another deep breath. “And your shampoo.”

Jaehwan just smiles and resumes his petting, not really knowing what to say about that.

“You bought chicken?”

“Yeah. Should be warm still.” Taekwoon turns to look at Jaehwan again. “Hungry?”

“Starving.”

\--

Jaehwan wakes up Monday wrapped in Taekwoon’s octopus-like arms, the other’s hold on him the only reason he’s not currently crashing to the floor due to his bed actually being too small for two people to lie in it. Taekwoon’s phone blaring out an alarm is what wakes him, startling them both a little, Taekwoon’s arms tightening around his waist for a second before going slack again and groaning into the back of his neck.

“Work?” Jaehwan asks, reaching out to turn off the alarm – the phone carelessly left on the floor sometime during last evening. Their chicken party had turned into a heated kissing session until Hakyeon returned home and threatened them with promises of ice-buckets over their heads while they were sleeping if they dared doing anything funny while he was in the room.

“Yeah, in two hours.” Taekwoon mumbled into his neck so his breath huffed onto Jaehwan’s skin and made him shiver. His skin tingles and he lets out a sigh. He doesn’t want to leave the position they’re in. Ever.

“Can I come visit again?”

“Of course.” Taekwoon kisses his neck and Jaehwan holds his breath, body reacting more than he wants it to. He thinks of Hakyeon sleeping in the opposite part of the room and moves to escape Taekwoon’s hold. The arms around his waist tighten and he hears a whine behind him.

“Woonie.” Jaehwan says with a makeshift threatening voice and tries to pry off the strong arms. Jaehwan isn’t weak, so he easily untangles himself despite the soft sounds of protest behind him. Once he’s up and standing he takes a hold of one of Taekwoon’s long, lanky arms and drags him up to a sitting position. His hair is sticking in all directions, all puffy from drying after being wet from rain and then completely mistreated by Jaehwan’s hands multiple times. He’s barely able to keep his eyes open, face looking a lot like the permanent grumpy face Marshmallow has.

“Breakfast?” Jaehwan asks in a light tone, standing in front of the bed with his hands on his hips. He feels surprisingly awake, considering it’s an early Monday morning. Taekwoon sighs heavily and nods, eyes still pinched closed with tiredness.

“How about pancakes?”


	13. Thirteen

“I can’t believe it’s the last week of our holiday already.” Wonshik groans miserably as he and Jaehwan walk together under Hongbin’s umbrella, on their way to the cat café to visit Taekwoon. They had recorded the last verse of Wonshik’s song for a couple of hours and then when Jaehwan said he was going to the café to visit Taekwoon at work Wonshik insisted on coming to witness it. Jaehwan couldn’t blame him, really.

“This holiday just blew by like storm, it feels like. I was just in class! Like yesterday?!” Jaehwan exclaims in frustration. The realization hit him hard earlier that day, when he had noticed the calendar on his desk before leaving for the studio to meet Wonshik. He’s worried what would happen to him and Taekwoon once studies were back on and both of them turn busy. With Taekwoon having a part-time job on top of it all it means he probably won’t have much time for anything else. The thought makes Jaehwan’s stomach uncomfortably tight.

“Right? This is ridiculous.” Wonshik throws his hands in the air, shouting to the sky, knocking the umbrella over so it doesn’t cover him anymore. The heavy rain hits his face like a slap in the face, making him shout in shock and Jaehwan bark a laugh – still safely covered by the umbrella. He quickly straightens the umbrella to cover his friend again, but can’t stop laughing at the sound he had made.

“You’re an ass.” Wonshik mutters, looking at him with his previously styled hair wet and hanging sloppily into his face and almost completely covering his eyes.

“I’m an angel.” Jaehwan blinks, smiling innocently and walking on – forcing Wonshik to follow in order to not get showered once again.

“Can I ask you something?” He asks Wonshik when he stops struggling to stay beside him.

“Of course.” Wonshik gives him a quick look of worry, always automatically assuming something is wrong when Jaehwan had questions for him. Wonshik is such a reliable guy that Jaehwan always goes running to him with his worries, despite Hakyeon being his actual mentor from day one at school. Hakyeon is the one you go to with real problems, not your tiny, stupid worries.

“What’s up with you and Hakyeon?”

Wonshik stutters; a moment of genuine surprise in his eyes before he seems to accept why Jaehwan would ask. He struggles to find words for a bit. “I…” He hums, hands gesticulating into the air as they walk. Jaehwan waits patiently.

“I’m not sure.” Wonshik sighs, hands falling down to rest by his sides as he gives up.

“You never told me you liked him.”

“I didn’t know I did!” Wonshik exclaimed, alarmed by the notion of Jaehwan thinking he wouldn’t tell him everything. “We’ve never really talked before, you know, but then at Sanghyuk’s party we did and – I don’t know – there was something there. I can’t really explain it.”

Jaehwan hummed while nodding, able to relate to him more than Wonshik might realize. “Did you do anything yet?”

Wonshik blushed immediately. “We’ve kissed a couple of times…” He answers hesitantly, making Jaehwan chuckle at him. They arrive at the café, folding the umbrella and walking up to the 2nd floor. “We’re just having fun getting to know each other at the moment. Nothing super serious.” Wonshik nods to himself as he speaks while climbing the stairs. He stops at the top and waits for Jaehwan behind him to come up as well. “Yet.” He adds and blushes again.

“You should text him and tell him to come.” Jaehwan gives him a quick wink before opening the door and entering the café first. During their walk there his giddiness from wanting to see Taekwoon had increased slowly and evenly, now turned into excited butterflies in his stomach.

The first thing he sees when he comes in is Hongbin sitting crosslegged in one of the couches with Marshmallow in his lap and a book that looks very much like curriculum in his hands and dressed in a very baggy and cozy-looking hoodie. He glances up and smiles at Jaehwan as soon as he recognizes him.

“Hey!” He calls out to them, and then looks at Jaehwan in questions when he sees Wonshik come in as well – as if asking ‘who’s this?’ Jaehwan waves at him, eyes first darting to the coffee bar and finding Taekwoon standing with his back turned beside another, taller worker. His attention turns back to Hongbin.

“This is my friend, Wonshik.” He points his thumb to his friend and then walks over to the bar, leaving them to get to know each other on their own. There’s no other customer but Taekwoon seems busy anyway, hands constantly working at the machine he’s standing in front of. The other worker looks kind of familiar and Jaehwan tilts his head as if it will help him understand why, but his curiosity is immediately sated when the worker turns around and lights up in recognition.

“Sanghyuk?” Jaehwan splutters when he recognizes the worker as none other. Sanghyuk grins at him, waving. “Hey!” He says happily.

“What are you doing here?” Jaehwan hears Wonshik say from directly behind him. He didn’t know either, it seems.

“Mom cut my pocket money for one month because of the party thing, so I decided to earn my own.” Sanghyuk looks so proud when he says it that it’s almost comical.

The rich kid is working for his money for the first time in his life, Jaehwan mused. Wonshik’s family is of course equally rich as his relatives, but his father far stricter and had Wonshik work at a gas station from the day he turned 16. Jaehwan can still remember his own shock at Wonshik telling him how his 16th birthday present had been a job offer at said gas station. Jaehwan knows Sanghyuk’s mother, Wonshik’s father’s twin sister, to be equally strict but on other areas. Plus she’s really scary when she’s angry, which is almost all the time because Sanghyuk always finds something to do that makes her angry, somehow. Even if it’s not on purpose.

Wonshik doesn’t seem to believe his own eyes, the only one to witness every single one of Sanghyuk’s many ideas through the years. “You’re serious about this? You’re actually taking a part-time job?” He asks incredulously and Sanghyuk nods with enthusiasm, pride basically shining off him.

“That’s great, Hyukkie.” Jaehwan cheers on, trying not to laugh at Wonshik as he gives his thumb of approval.

“Taekwoon is teaching me how to make an Americano.” Sanghyuk said when Taekwoon turned to stand beside him, finally done doing whatever he had been so busy with. Eyes met Jaehwan’s and his chest warmed as they shared a small smile. He wants to hug him so bad his fingers twitch.

“Is he a good teacher?” Jaehwan asks teasingly and earns a look from Taekwoon while Sanghyuk just nods. He raises his brows in questions to Taekwoon, asking him the same. He gives Sanghyuk a quick look before speaking.

“He’s a bit impatient.” He says frankly and Sanghyuk gapes at him, looking scandalized. “But he’ll do.”

The tiniest smile appears on the side of Taekwoon’s mouth and Jaehwan can’t help but laugh silently into his palm, Taekwoon’s eyes flickering to him to watch. Their eyes meet and Taekwoon’s seem to glimmer as they rest on Jaehwan’s silently, Sanghyuk huffing around him mumbling that he tried really hard to make that coffee.

They settle around a table, Hongbin moving his school materials over from the couch – much to the annoyance of Marshmallow who no longer could sleep on his lap – and Wonshik and Jaehwan ordering their drinks (warm cup of coffee for Wonshik, milkshake for Jaehwan). Jaehwan insisted on paying this time, refusing Taekwoon to give them free service again. “We can’t come here and leech on you all the time, let me pay at least a couple times.” He told him with a stern look, barely making him yield. Merrily Jaehwan paid with Wonshik’s card given to him by his parents.

“So, do you come here to study often?” Wonshik is asking Hongbin while Jaehwan is silently distracted watching Taekwoon scold Sanghyuk for not closing the lid of the blender properly when making Jaehwan’s special milkshake (still not on the menu). He’s only listening with half an ear when Hongbin answers from beside him.

“I usually go here a couple times a week. The library tends to get too crowded and I come to see Marshmallow.”

There’s a silent pause, Jaehwan turning to see the reason to find Wonshik looking confused to what or who Marshmallow is and Hongbin not noticing because he’s trying to get a certain resisting cat up on his lap. “The cat.” Jaehwan whispers to him and a light bulb pops above his head.

Marshmallow finally complies and lets himself be lifted up, reluctantly settling in Hongbin’s lap under the table – Wonshik staring at them, while Jaehwan gets up to get the drinks when he sees Taekwoon is about to leave the bar area to walk over. “What do you study?” He hears Wonshik ask Hongbin behind him.

“No, it’s fine; I’ll come and sit with you for a bit.” Taekwoon explains when he lifts the drinks high, just out of Jaehwan’s reach, with his long arms and Jaehwan pouts at him. The corner of his lip twitches when he looks at Jaehwan’s ridiculous expression of disappointment from not being able to reach the drink. Promptly he shoves past Jaehwan gently and walks to their table with long steps, Jaehwan hurrying after him gingerly.

Hongbin and Wonshik get along quite easily, for reasons not explainable since they’re completely different people, but soon their conversation is flying off as Jaehwan and Taekwoon casually talk to each other alone. Occasionally Sanghyuk comes over with his newest try to make the Americano so Taekwoon can taste check, only to be sent back with instructions on what seemed to be wrong. Jaehwan’s amusement is endless as Taekwoon makes painful faces when tasting the failed attempts and then quickly stealing from his milkshake to rid of the taste. And every time he laughs at him, Taekwoon’s hand comes up to touch Jaehwan’s neck as if he’s going to hit him but he just gives it a quick brush and then disappears. _‘Hitting would have been better’_ Jaehwan thinks the fourth time a trail of goosebumps forms down his spine at the light touch.

Taekwoon joins their table as the customers come and go, Hongbin slowly working on his homework while petting the sleeping cat Jaehwan wishes was in his lap instead, Wonshik casually talking to him meanwhile and Jaehwan switching between joining them and blatantly staring at Taekwoon work.

Hours pass and Wonshik leaves when Hongbin leaves while Jaehwan lingers behind, taking over Marshmallow from Hongbin and moving over to the couch.

“Aren’t you bored?” Taekwoon asks him when coming over with a cup of peppermint tea he didn’t ask for. He shakes his head, letting his hand drag over the soft fur on Marshmallow’s head. “I really like it here-“ He looks at Taekwoon and smiles “-and Marshmallow is great company.” He pets the cat lovingly and he purrs loudly at the extra attention. Taekwoon smiles at him, crouching down beside them to pet the cat as well.

“I like watching you work.” Jaehwan takes his hand and strokes Taekwoon’s hair, coming to a rest at his neck where the hairline stops. He digs his fingers into his scalp, slightly massaging into the hair, and Taekwoon closes his eyes with a sigh.

“Don’t-“ Taekwoon’s starts, breath hitching when Jaehwan does it again with more strength. “Don’t do that unless you plan on doing something about it.” He continues with his eyes closed and ears turning red. He says it so quietly only Jaehwan can hear it and with a hint of frustration. Jaehwan’s hand comes to a stop, a little embarrassed since they’re in public and Sanghyuk is watching them – visible from the corner of his eye, drying mugs.

Taekwoon’s eyes open and look deeply into Jaehwan’s own and his heart skips several beats, struggling to find a proper rhythm. “What if I do?” He murmurs with a burst of unknown bravery. He feels almost wicked, all kinds of things he wants to do springing up in his mind and making tingles spread through his body. The couch seems unbearably warm under him, as if someone jacked up the temperature in the room suddenly. Taekwoon looks conflicted, teeth coming out to worry on his lower lip for a moment, eyes flickering to look at Jaehwan’s lips and then back up to his eyes.

“My shift ends in one hour.” He says and gets up, walking back to the bar.

\--

They enter Hongbin and Taekwoon’s dorm together, hand in hand, Jaehwan being borderline dragged straight through the livingroom and into Taekwoon’s bedroom – Hongbin looking at them with raised brows at first, then grimacing then Jaehwan throws him an amused but apologetic look while passing him standing in the kitchen.

The moment Jaehwan is within the room and the door shut behind him by Taekwoon’s magically long arm stretching past him, lips is on his and he’s being lead to sit on bed – Taekwoon on his knees on the floor between his legs, hands on his thighs so warm they’re making him sweat.

He welcomes the kisses eagerly. The tingles from earlier never left his body and plagued him the entire time until Taekwoon was done working, Taekwoon ignoring him the entire time to teach Sanghyuk how to clean the coffee machine. Even Marshmallow had detected his increasing discomfort and abandoned him to hide.

Taekwoon’s hands on his thighs trembles, his kiss rushed and desperate for a long time until it seems his initial rush passes and their lips part and his head falls down to lean on Jaehwan’s chest, his shoulders rising and falling as he pants for air. Jaehwan cups his chin and caresses it, letting him hide from him because Taekwoon’s hands won’t stop trembling. His other hand is casually resting on top of Taekwoon’s.

“What’s up?” He asks softly and he feels the slight tug in Taekwoon’s fingers when he hears him.

“Sometimes you make me so nervous I don’t know what to do with myself.” Taekwoon answers without looking up, voice soft. He huffs a half-laugh, his hands no longer trembling and stroking Jaehwan’s thigh mindlessly.

“Why?” Jaehwan asks softly, hand stroking his soft hair.

“I’m not sure.”

A long pause, Jaehwan waiting because he has a feeling Taekwoon is thinking, not waiting for him to speak.

“I think I’m scared of doing something wrong that will make you walk away.”

Jaehwan’s hand stops stroking him and falls back to rest on top of Taekwoon’s hand, stopping his stroking motions on his thigh.

“I walked into this with so much confidence, but I ended up falling so fast and hard that the thought of you not being with me became-” A sigh. “well, unbearable.”

He looks up and his eyes seem to be swimming when they find Jaehwan’s. “I’ve never felt like this before, I don’t know what to do about it.”

He looks almost heartbroken when he says is and Jaehwan’s chest aches painfully, making it hard for him to breathe normally. His mind is blank, heart racing, hands feeling clammy and his body frozen in time, refusing to move – the only exception his thumb stroking Taekwoon’s hand. He needs to clear his throat to speak.

“What is there to do about it? I’m not going anywhere.” Jaehwan says what he now realizes he’s known as true for several days now. Yes; he fell much faster than he ever imagined he could, but he sees nothing wrong with it and the initial fear he felt slowly disappeared as they kept seeing each other.

“I was scared too.” He admitted, his free hand finally allowed to move and coming up to rest on Taekwoon’s neck. He pulls him closer, their foreheads almost meeting. “I’m not going anywhere.” He said slowly, looking at him directly to emphasize. He can see Taekwoon analyzing him, studying his eyes thoroughly.

“Me neither.” He says right before he leans in to kiss. As if sealing a deal they deepen the kiss, Jaehwan pulling Taekwoon with him to climb onto the bed, barely letting him break the kiss in the process.

With Taekwoon still not completely stable on his hold and his breath still shaky, Jaehwan takes charge as soon as he’s climbed completely onto the bed by flipping them around so he’s sitting on top of him – already grinding down to make his intentions clear. As Taekwoon’s confidence grows back, his arousal grows with him. His hands become determined, finding naked skin under Jaehwan’s t-shirt, gripping hard onto his thighs, hand tugging at his hair whenever he leans down for a kiss.

Jaehwan takes off his t-shirt, making a show of it by lifting it slowly while Taekwoon’s fingers follow eagerly upwards as more skin is revealed, until they find Jaehwan’s nipples and Jaehwan’s breathing stops being even. He throws away the clothing carelessly and immediately pulls at Taekwoon’s, a smile spreading across his lips as the stomach is revealed and he can touch his abdomen and feel his muscles flutter from it.

“Ahh-“ Taekwoon lets out an alarmed sound at the light touch on his stomach. “It tickles-“ He grunts, gasping for air when Jaehwan doesn’t stop. He can clearly see the muscles contract at his feather-like touch and is strangely amused by it.

“Jaehwan-“ Taekwoon warns, gripping at his thighs with both hands desperately. Jaehwan flashes him a smile before he slides back onto his legs so he can lean down and kiss him right below the navel. Taekwoon’s strangled moan tells him he’s a little conflicted on whether he wants Jaehwan to stop or not, and his reactions are having wonderful effects on Jaehwan. Seeing Taekwoon’s hands move to grip the sheets makes his abdomen stir in excitement and his confidence surges.

With a certain intention in mind Jaehwan does his best to completely overdrive Taekwoon’s body with his kisses on his body, hands everywhere – teasing him until his breath becomes labored and his beautiful whines fill Jaehwan’s ears like music. He wants to see how long he can go on before Taekwoon starts asking for something more, just the mere thought of him telling Jaehwan to do something making his growing erection twitch in his pants.

He slowly undresses them both, making sure to cover every new surface with wet kisses and basically making Taekwoon grow very impatient with him. The moment Jaehwan’s pants are off and he steps back onto the bed where Taekwoon is waiting, Taekwoon’s hands grab for him to come close, to make their lips meet again and to grind their erections together with gasping breaths.

The friction is almost making Jaehwan lightheaded, his breath coming out of him in shaky puffs as Taekwoon’s hand takes a hold of them both and gives an experimental tug. A whine escapes Taekwoon and Jaehwan feels like he’s going to go crazy with want. With the sheer amount of lust roaring through him like a storm, making him impossibly sensitive to every touch and his erection painfully hard in the other’s hand.

“Taekwoon-“ He pants, staring at the glistening chest beneath him instead of his eyes or hands. Looking would be too much to handle right now.

“Yeah?”

“Can I-“ He whines at another tug, his forehead falling down to support itself on Taekwoon’s chest. “Ohgod…” He gasps. His mind struggles for a moment to grasp what he was asking for.

“I wanna try something.” He finally manages to say. Taekwoon’s hand stops moving and Jaehwan can’t help but be disappointed, his hips jerking slightly in pure reflex. He takes several breaths to calm down, eyes closed, forming words. Taekwoon waits in silence.

With the lack of words that would make himself want to throw himself into a grave in pure embarrassment, Jaehwan resorts to action. Slowly, avoiding to look at Taekwoon by keeping his eyes on his chest and stomach and abdomen as he moves himself downwards, the other’s hand falling away to rest on the mattress. When he’s far enough down he slides his hand past Taekwoon’s erection – earning a shaky breath from him – and leads it to move his thighs apart. Sitting up, he lifts one thigh as he kisses along it and then – finally – he looks Taekwoon directly in the eye as his fingers finds their way to Taekwoon’s opening.

Taekwoon’s eyes widen in surprise and he frowns for a moment, looking nervous but his eyes show a hint of interest. Jaehwan looks him in the eye and waits for a decision, giving him time to refuse the offer. But then Taekwoon’s hand flies out to the side and opens the drawer on his bedside table and then hands over the lube with a determined look.

Jaehwan takes the bottle and takes his time preparing Taekwoon while kissing his thighs and after a while his uncomfortable frown turns into moans and his back arches when Jaehwan finds the sweet spot he’s been looking for.

He climbs up to give Taekwoon a proper kiss before entering him. “You look incredible right now.” He whispers hotly into Taekwoon’s ear after the kiss and he responds with a groan and pinching his eyes shut.

He feels as if he’s about to come right away when he slides in, Taekwoon feeling impossibly hot and his muscles constantly fluttering around him as he inches deeper and deeper with each careful thrust. He increases the speed according to the response from the other, despite his mind screaming at him to pound in for life and get himself over the edge.

He finds the spot and Taekwoon’s back arches and Jaehwan can’t hold back anymore. It’s too hot, too tight, too sexy and too fucking good. He thrusts deep and quick, skin snapping together almost a little loudly but they’re both too far gone to care. Underneath them Taekwoon’s hands has curled up the sheets to a complete mess and his knuckles are white with how hard he’s gripping at them when Jaehwan takes his hand up to his erection and starts pumping him. He’s so close. So close to exploding into nothingness.

Taekwoon holds his breath when he comes, making no sound whatsoever as his back falls down onto the bed and his entire body tenses and pushes Jaehwan out of him. Jaehwan is quick to jerk himself off and comes onto Taekwoon’s stomach with a desperate whimper and falls down onto the bed beside Taekwoon.

They silently lie side by side, watching the stars on Taekwoon’s ceiling while panting silently. Jaehwan can see in the corner of his eye that the other turns his head to watch him instead and he feels so happy to be there with him. He almost wants to laugh with how happy he feels. It amazes him how in love he is, already, with this incredible guy that has been there, just within reach, for two years – just not within sight. They were so close to meeting again before, but somehow didn’t meet until now. Somehow he had met this guy who is making him so impossibly happy by just being there, just at the right time.

 _What are the chances?_ He thinks silently, a smile growing wide as he closes his eyes and sighs happily.


	14. Fourteen

It’s Tuesday night and Jaehwan is once again lying on his back beside Taekwoon after - what he rates as - mindblowing sex. They can’t seem to keep their hands off each other once they’re alone. Taekwoon lying on his side beside him, resting his mouth in a passive kiss on Jaehwan’s shoulder and his arms draped around him like a safety line. Keeping him close, keeping him from moving away, keeping him warm.

The soft green light of the fluorescent stars attached above Taekwoon’s bed seems to have a magical effect on him, making him feel drowsy, calm and safe beneath them. They’re soothing in a way, and he enjoys counting them from time to time, like Taekwoon says he does when he can’t sleep. He wonders if Taekwoon sleeps better when he’s there with him, like he does. He finds his bed terribly lonely when empty these days, his fingers aching to reach for his phone and send the other text messages. But he doesn’t want to bother him with it, knowing his troubles with falling asleep. He wonders if he gets some stars for his own ceiling it might help him feel like he’s in Taekwoon’s bed instead. Or maybe just go steal Hakyeon’s bed, since he has stars too?

“Do the stars remind you of Hakyeon?”

Taekwoon hums into his shoulder thoughtfully, clearly about to drift to sleep. “Not really. They don’t really make me think of anything. They’re just nice to look at.” He murmurs quietly. Jaehwan regrets asking, afraid the other will think he is doubting him again. He was just being curious. His eyes flicker over to look for a sign but finds the other completely unaffected.

“I told Hakyeon once that I used to count roof tiles to help me fall asleep when I lived with my parents. Here the roof is perfectly smooth and just white, so I had trouble falling asleep. The next day he gave me the stars and said he saw them randomly when shopping for things to put on his desk.” Taekwoon said, mumbling as he spoke, voice tired and slightly gruff. His breaths onto Jaehwan’s shoulder made his skin tingle. Taekwoon adds another kiss onto his shoulder and then moves to sit up with a grunt.

“Let’s wash up and sleep?” He suggests and looks at Jaehwan with a lazy smile. His hair is all over the place and he looks so relaxed and happy it makes Jaehwan’s entire being ache for him. He almost groans at how much he wants to have him close again, to touch him again, to kiss him again. His arms reach out for him and he wants to pull him back down, put instead he’s pulled up to sit by Taekwoon’s stronger arms. The words are there; lingering on his tongue, ringing in his head, waiting to come out, but instead he joins him to the bathroom with a borrowed towel around his waist.

\--

The next morning they lazily make their way to the kitchen to have some breakfast, cereal really the only edible thing in the apartment besides from snacks. Jaehwan leans sleepily on the kitchen counter as he waits for Taekwoon who is standing behind him waiting for his coffee by staring at the coffee machine intently. Both of them are feeling fuzzy and disoriented, having stayed up way too late talking and sharing their music, considering the early alarm that told them Taekwoon needed to go to work again.

The coffee machine stops making noises and with the sound of a switch being pressed and liquid being poured in a mug and the distinct satisfying smell of fresh coffee filling his nostrils; Jaehwan sighs in content and starts pouring the cereal waiting in front of him into his bowl. A steaming mug of coffee is set down on the counter beside him and then Taekwoon’s long, warm arms sneak around Jaehwan’s body and he’s hugged from behind. Taekwoon rests his mouth on Jaehwan’s neck, a kind of kiss he seems to have taken a liking to, and breathes through his nose – making Jaehwan’s skin tingle and the hairs on his neck rise. He tenses at the sensation, even though he likes it.

A quiet hum from Taekwoon and they stay like that for a few moments while Jaehwan prepares his cereal. Corn flakes, milk, jam, stir and wait.

“I want to take you on a date.”

Taekwoon breaks the silence with a clear tone compared to his usual murmurs. He had lifted his head from its resting position on Jaehwan’s neck to speak.

“Yeah?” Jaehwan asked, stirring his cereal. He would have to eat it soon, or it would turn soggy.

“Yeah.”

“Where?”

“The city.” Taekwoon answered and moved from his position to stand shoulder to shoulder with Jaehwan, picking up his mug and lifting it to blow on the black, liquid surface. Jaehwan takes a spoon of cereal and chews, studying him.

“What kind of date? Dinner and movie?” He asks and takes another spoonful. Taekwoon takes his first, careful sip of coffee – not wanting to burn his tongue, most likely. He swallows and hums, pleased, a smile tugging at the side of his mouth.

“Yeah.”

“No horror movies.” Jaehwan says as he chews. Taekwoon smiles at him fondly.

“Promise.” The smile turns almost a little cheeky and there’s mischief twinkling in his eyes. Jaehwan smiles back and then offers Taekwoon a spoon of cereal. He shakes his head almost invisibly and walks away to grab his own bowl and spoon. Jaehwan takes the spoon into his own mouth and hums happily as he chews, the cereal seemingly tasting extra good today.

“When?” He asks after swallowing and Taekwoon back beside him, now pouring his own bowl.

“Tomorrow?” Taekwoon stops moving his hands as he looks at Jaehwan in question, waiting for an answer. Jaehwan has nothing to do the rest of his holiday. No plans. Still time seems to run from him.

“Tomorrow is fine.”

\--

While Jaehwan thought perfect dates was something that only appeared in romantic movies and novels, Taekwoon had somehow managed to prove him wrong already at the beginning of their own date. He realizes this as they sit across from each other in a hidden corner of an almost empty restaurant serving absolutely amazing-looking thin crust pizza’s that they said was a fusion of Italian pizza and their own long list of mixed cultures and experiences. Jaehwan loved the idea and Taekwoon was so in love with the place he spent a good ten minutes silently looking around their table at the walls, the decorations, listening to the quiet R&B music playing in the background and munching on the free bread they received while waiting for their ordered pizzas. Portion pizzas. Both of them got the chef’s choice, too hungry to take their time to read through the entire list of choices when no names looked familiar. No simple choices like ‘Hawaii’ or ‘Pepperoni’.

Jaehwan can’t look at the surroundings because Taekwoon is placed perfectly in a dim spotlight and the shades it creates on his face is making him look simply stunning, and his expressions of pure wonder is the purest thing Jaehwan has seen his entire life. His heart hurts for him. He wants to protect him from all the ugly that could take that expression from him. He wants him to hug him so he also feels protected, his arm the safest place imaginable for Jaehwan these days. His arms around him and his mouth resting on his neck in a kiss that never really ends.

Taekwoon catches Jaehwan’s eyes and he jumps for a moment, originally in a dreamlike state, but then breaks into a big smile. “This place is perfect.” He tells him, meaning it. It’s so blatant on Taekwoon’s face that it makes him happy, and he smiles back with that small smile of his.

“I’ve been wanting to go for a while. Passed it a couple times, but never went in.”

“Why not?”

“I wanted to save it for a special occasion.” Taekwoon’s head dips down as he says it, becoming shy. He starts playing with the fork on the table, fingers clumsy and dropping in onto the tablecloth several times while Jaehwan’s eyes follow every movement of his fingers. Jaehwan is blushing.

“Thank you for taking me here.” He says, reaching out for Taekwoon’s hand when he drops the fork another time. He didn’t realize that his hands could be this sensitive to every single touch and stroke of fingers and watches in wonder at how nice it feels to when Taekwoon’s fingers move to entwine their hands.

He thinks of their bus ride to the city on the tiny village bus that only traveled to the city on weekdays and not very many times a day, basically keeping the carless students isolated in the close-by town the two universities are located. Jaehwan had rarely been to the city since he’s not from the area. Just like Wonshik and Sanghyuk he had moved from far away to attend the famous private school famous for its several film, theater and music related education programs. The three of them has barely seen the outside of the campus compared to locals like Taekwoon and Hakyeon. Taekwoon is from the university town itself, while Hakyeon moved from the city where Taekwoon attended high school.

So while Taekwoon kept his eyes trained on his phone and music player, playing music for the both of them – one earplug each – Jaehwan kept his eyes on the landscape flying by outside the dirty bus window. They held hands the entire trip, Taekwoon’s hand in his and resting on Jaehwan’s thigh and warming him somehow. The sun was setting while they traveled and the beautiful landscape slowly turning from rural to urban and then they got off the bus in the middle of the concrete jungle. The high buildings, broad streets, lots of people, the smell of garbage, the distinct loud volume of _society –_ it almost overwhelms him after being away from any city for months. Despite growing up in one. But his city was much smaller than this one, and much further away.

But Taekwoon’s hand in his made it enjoyable. New and exciting.

The pizzas arrive and Jaehwan snap out of his thoughts with a start, taking back his hand to give room for the food on the table. The smell makes his stomach sing in joy and Taekwoon looks like he’s about to eat the entire pizza in one piece.

\--

“We’re going back there, that was friggin delicious!” Jaehwan exclaims as they exit the restaurant and start walking down the street to the cinema. Taekwoon automatically slings his arm around Jaehwan’s shoulder as soon as they fall side-by-side on the sidewalk, walking slowly together in the chilly spring breeze. There was promise of no rain this evening, for once, but the skies are covered in clouds that make the evening seem much later than it really is. They are full, sated and buzzing, completely unable to keep themselves away from each other.

“Definitely.” Taekwoon confirms and Jaehwan can hear him smile and the satisfaction in his voice. He had just about moaned at every piece of pizza he ate when they were inside, distracting Jaehwan to no end – making his ears burn hot in slight shame over his own thirst.

“So, what kind of movie are you taking me to?” Jaehwan asks, his hand coming up to rest on top of Taekwoon’s hand on his own shoulder, and his arm comes to a rest around Taekwoon’s back so their bodies are as close as they can possibly get while still being able to walk like normal people. Two girls walking the opposite direction give them big round eyes of interest as they pass by, completely unable to stare at the two. In the distance they can see the last traces of sunset with a thin line of orange decorating the landscape far beyond the city.

“I figured you like superheroes.” Taekwoon says casually but Jaehwan can detect that there’s anticipation for his answer in there somewhere. Of course, Jaehwan loves superheroes, so he turns his head up to look at him with the bright expression of a 6-year old being promised a really awesome toy.

“We’re watching the new Captain America movie?!”

Taekwoon can’t hold back the smile when he looks at him and barely manages to nod a yes before he has to look away, cheeks bright red and grip around Jaehwan’s shoulder tightening. Excitement bubbling up within him, Jaehwan pulls Taekwoon along to pick up their slow walk into a brisk one – eager to get to the cinema as fast as possible.

“Let’s go, then!” He proclaims happily and Taekwoon lets himself be dragged willingly, his smile now permanently plastered on his face despite his efforts to look normal.

Taekwoon paid for dinner, so Jaehwan insists on paying for snacks – ending up buying two big buckets of popcorn and both Skittles and chocolate bars for each of them, shoving away the thought of not affording dinner for at least two days as consequence. He shoves all the snacks into Taekwoon’s hands and burst out laughing at the sight of him struggling to keep it all in his hands and not falling to the floor, before running off without telling Taekwoon what for.

Leaving a puzzled and possibly overwhelmed Taekwoon behind in the cinema hall and ten minutes until they have to enter the movie, Jaehwan runs outside and to the coffeeshop Taekwoon had given long stares at as they passed it to enter the cinema. He hurries inside and sees with great relief that there’s no line, so he orders an Americano and a lemonade quickly and taps his feet to the floor as he waits for the drinks.

Exactly two minutes before they can enter Jaehwan comes back to find Taekwoon standing exactly where he left him. He lifts his hand to show off the Americano he bought and Taekwoon’s face brightens considerably.

“How did you know?” Taekwoon asks gingerly as he takes a sip of the drink and makes a face of pure bliss that makes Jaehwan’s stomach flutter. He shrugs and smiles to him in answer, now holding his portion of the snacks in his own hands, and turns as the cinema worker announces the doors are open. He just about jogs to line up and feels absolutely great, Taekwoon following right behind him.

\--

“Wow.” Jaehwan says when they exit the cinema.

“That was epic.” Taekwoon chimes in, hand taking Jaehwan’s automatically and steering him towards the bus stop for their bus home.

“I have no words for how much fun that was.”

Taekwoon chuckles quietly and squeezes Jaehwan’s hand momentarily. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“Liked it? I loved it!” Jaehwan exclaims, throwing his hands in the air dramatically, pulling Taekwoon’s hand with him – refusing to let him go. Taekwoon chuckles again and Jaehwan grins at him. “Thank you.” He tells him wholeheartedly and pulls his arm so he’ll stop walking. Taekwoon turns towards him and watches him with a cheesy smile on his face and eyes shining with adoration. Jaehwan sees it so easily and clearly now, finding absolutely no reason to question their affection for each other. He tugs his arm again and Taekwoon moves closer, meeting Jaehwan midway for a sweet kiss.

They part, but only barely, Taekwoon’s arms coming around Jaehwan to hug him close even though they’re in the middle of a sidewalk and technically in the way of basically anyone walking past. They don’t notice it, too lost in their own space. For several minutes their eyes flicker around to look at each other, almost kissing but not actually leaning in to do so because they want to watch the other a little longer. Jaehwan wishes they were in Taekwoon’s bedroom so he could bury himself into his body and drown in his warmth, his scent and kiss him to infinity.

Someone bumps into Jaehwan’s back and the moment breaks, the two almost losing their balance if not for Taekwoon’s steady grip, and they hear a muttered apology from the passer-by and Taekwoon sends a dark look his way. He hugs Jaehwan’s close, keeping him steady, until Jaehwan pulls away and takes his hand instead.

“Let’s go.” He tells Taekwoon and tugs him along.

They reach the bus stop and Taekwoon leans close to read the faded bus information for the only bus that can take them home to their campuses while Jaehwan sits down on the bench to check his phone. He had turned it off for the movie, so when he turns it on again it buzzes several times with notifications. Emails from professors about classes starting next Monday, recommended tweets from Twitter, four new likes on his Instagram and a message from Wonshik.

_Wonshikkie – 9:23  
Got time for a studio session tomorrow night?_

There’s a whine from Taekwoon and he locks his phone without answering Wonshik’s message and he looks up at him curiously. “What’s up?”

“Apparently the 10pm bus doesn’t go on Thursdays.” Taekwoon looks at him apologetically, brows in a worried frown. Jaehwan frowns. “Who’s stupid idea was that? Why Thursdays?” He gets up to look at the timetable himself, only to see the same thing Taekwoon observed. Bottom of the table; a line in tiny writing saying the last bus, 10pm, does not drive on Thursdays and Sundays. He looks at Taekwoon with worry, the other mirroring his expression.

“I can’t afford a taxi.” He says miserably. It’s true; until his scholarship clocks in on Monday with the start of classes, he has barely any money on him. Especially after splurging on snacks.

Taekwoon steps outside the bus stop and looks around the area, looking for ideas. Jaehwan looks back on the time table. “The first bus in the morning is 5am.” He states. That leaves them 7 hours of waiting and the spring evening temperature is not forgiving, and he’s really tired.

He stares at Taekwoon with a lost expression while Taekwoon seems to be thinking very hard, looking blankly into the distance while his hand is clenching and unclenching around his phone. Several minutes pass and then he looks to Jaehwan who’s expression turns into a hopeful one.

“We could go to a motel?” Taekwoon says, ears turning red from slight embarrassment. The city is full of motels for students with strict dorm rules to escape to for a cheap price – mostly to have sex. Jaehwan finds himself blushing as well, well-aware of this fact, but can’t really see a better solution.

“I guess that’s fine. It’s better than staying here for 7 hours.” He shrugs and gets up to a stand, hand reaching out for Taekwoon’s. He accepts it and squeezes it, mumbling a low “sorry”. Jaehwan pushes his shoulder into him. “Don’t be, it’s not your fault.”

\--

After trying to avoid the overbearing stare of the middle-aged motel owner and climbing the stairs of a fishy-smelling hallway up to the fifth floor, the pair enters a small and very simple motel room furnished with almost nothing but a king-size bed and a TV. Ears shining bright red and looking incredibly uncomfortable, Taekwoon walks in first and inspects the room hesitantly, like he’s expecting to find suspicious spots all over the place. Considering the cheap price and the tacky decoration of the room – it would not surprise Jaehwan one bit if he did find something icky.

He gives the bed a look-over before sitting down on the edge of it, feeling strangely shy about being here with Taekwoon despite their not-so-innocent activities before in their own rooms. It feels so much different being in a room meant for the purpose, and very unromantic.

Instead of sitting down with Jaehwan; Taekwoon ends up pacing the room slowly, looking very uncomfortable as well. It makes Jaehwan wonder if he thinks he’s expecting something from him, as well as realize he’s probably feeling the same about the situation as him. Adoration tugs in his chest.

“Woonie.” He calls softly and Taekwoon stops mid step, turning towards him with teeth worrying his lips. He looks so nervous Jaehwan has to hold back a chuckle. He pats the bed beside him, telling him to come and sit. Taekwoon obeys right away, but doesn’t sit close enough for their shoulders to meet.

Jaehwan turns his body to sit cross-legged on the bed facing him, folding his hands in his lap. “You okay?” He asks, keeping his voice friendly and soft. Taekwoon lets out a shaky breath and his hands are trying to rub each other to pieces.

“This room makes me really uncomfortable.” He answers matter-of-factly and Jaehwan is grateful he’s being straight with him. He nods and hums. “Not very romantic, is it?” He muses and looks around at the ugly wallpaper and the heart-shaped pillows covering the bed. Taekwoon’s hands stop trying to kill each other and he nods quietly. “This didn’t go quite as I planned.” He says and sighs with clear frustration.

“Let’s just get to bed and sleep so we can go home as quickly as possible, hm?” Jaehwan says cheerily and steps off the bed. Taekwoon looks up at him with a grateful expression and nods. “Yeah.”

Soon they’re under the covers, all clothes but their underwear left on a chair in the corner and Taekwoon’s arms around Jaehwan and nuzzling his face in its favorite spot on Jaehwan’s neck, leaving a short kiss there before settling in a comfortable position for them both – bodies close, feet tangled.

“I’m sorry our date ended like this. In a place like this.” Taekwoon murmured quietly behind Jaehwan, his breath a pleasant tingle on his neck.

“Today was perfect.” Jaehwan sighs in answer. “I was really happy.”

Taekwoon kisses his neck again. “Me too.” A pleasant sigh and a pause, Jaehwan’s tired mind starting to drift away as his eyes come to a natural close in the darkness of the room.

“You always make me really happy.” Taekwoon murmurs then, his arms gripping around his a little harder. Jaehwan’s eyes open and his heartbeat speeds up considerably. He wants to looks at Taekwoon’s face, so he turns his head with effort to look but ends up having to turn his entire body. Taekwoon’s helps him until they’re face to face and back in a comfortable position. Jaehwan hand comes up and caresses Taekwoon’s face, tracing the line of his cheeks and jaw with his fingers while his eyes stay in contact with Taekwoon’s.

Taekwoon leans in for a long kiss when Jaehwan’s hand comes to a stop around his neck, fingers caressing the small hairs sticking out at the very edge of his hairline in the back of his head. Jaehwan almost gasps into the kiss, tired and emotional, and so, so happy.

Their lips come apart and Jaehwan feels a little breathless and lightheaded. He feels as if he’s about to cry, his hand gripping at Taekwoon’s neck harder and his heart beating hard in his chest while his blood races around his veins, making him sensitive to every breath coming out of Taekwoon’s mouth and hitting his naked skin.

The words are so clear in his mind. It’s like it’s screaming them at him and they’re on his tongue, forcing their way out. He wants to say them so bad, but he’s also scared. Terrified. He’s worried it’s too soon and too fast for them, even though he knows his feelings are true. They have barely gotten to know each other, but still their attraction to each other is so strong and almost overwhelming. He feels as if he needs Taekwoon to be able to breathe, and then when he’s with him he also takes his breath away. It’s powerful, exhausting and exhilarating.

Never in his life has he felt this way, and he refuses to let it go.

He takes a shaky breath and closes his eyes to gather courage. His hand tugs at Taekwoon’s neck and pulls him closer so their foreheads meet, their lips only inches apart. Taekwoon’s hand on his waist tugs him closer to his body and his breath hitches.

“I love you.” Jaehwan says into Taekwoon’s mouth, rushed, eyes pinched closed in almost-dread and his heart beating loudly in his ears.

A silent gasp. Hand on his hip gripping almost painfully. Pulse roaring in Jaehwan’s ear. Holding his breath until his lungs ache. He waits in borderline terror, wishing, hoping, _begging_ for the right answer. Time is moving too slowly for him to bear it.

The hand on his waist disappears and his eyes flutter open at the change, finding contact with Taekwoon’s wet and shiny eyes right as his hand finds Jaehwan’s jaw. Jaehwan swears he’s going to cry when he sees the amount of emotion in his dark brown eyes.

“I love you too.” Taekwoon answers with determination and kisses him deeply and it seems to mean so much more than it ever did before.


	15. Epilogue

“I am so freaking depressed about tomorrow…” Wonshik groans from the couch he is covering with his entire, long body, his legs hanging off the edge because he’s too long for the poor piece of furniture. Several voices around the room share his misery with various groans and grunts. Hakyeon is not among them and is sitting on the floor leaning on the same couch with a purring cat in his lap, and he reaches his arm up and pats Wonshik’s thigh hard three times. “Enjoy today without thinking of classes starting, alright?” He says comfortingly, but not looking away from the cat. He’s smiling for no reason and Jaehwan watches him with fondness. It’s been a while since he saw him smile like that; like he’s truly happy.

They’re all gathered in the cat café for the first time; Jaehwan sitting at the bar in a chair moved to act as a bar stool to be able to chat with Taekwoon as he works, Hongbin sitting at a table with Marshmallow in his lap and a nice cup of coffee made by a very proud Sanghyuk who sits across from him with glittering eyes because Hongbin complimented him on his coffee. It’s not Sanghyuk’s shift, but he came anyway when he caught on that everyone else were going to have one last peaceful afternoon before classes begin the day after. As he and Hongbin got talking – and got along straight away, strangely enough – he ended up insisting he made him his coffee, wanting to show off his new skill.

A Sunday afternoon with Taekwoon in an apron, cats to cuddle and all his friends seems pretty perfect to Jaehwan as he looks at them happily in silence while he waits for Taekwoon to finish his second signature milkshake. The best milkshake in the world, he thinks, because Taekwoon made it only for him and it has a chocolate flavor.

He’s aware of his dreamy expression as he watches his friends interact in front of him; Hakyeon and Wonshik murmuring things to each other shyly and occasionally blushing and staring into the air quietly for several minutes at a time, and Sanghyuk enthusiastically telling Hongbin about a girl he met.

“I have a date next Friday actually.” He says, straightening up and puffing his chest. Jaehwan snaps out of his dreamy state and stares at him, his eyes originally on Marshmallow because he’s kind of jealous the cat obviously favors Hongbin.

“You what?” Jaehwan bursts, and all eyes are on Sanghyuk who is grinning until his eyes are thin lines. He laughs heartily and Jaehwan sees Taekwoon hide a fond smile in the corner of his eye.

“I have a date.” Sanghyuk confirms once again and Jaehwan rolls his eyes, impatient. “With _who_ , I mean.” He says.

“She’s an exchange student. She lives in your building by the way.” He points at Jaehwan casually as he says it. He seems so relaxed about it, not embarrassed from the attention on him at all.

“Where is she from?” Hakyeon asks, hands still on the cat in his lap but no longer stroking it. Wonshik doesn’t look surprised at all, his eyes closed and a hand resting on beside his body, almost close enough to Hakyeon’s neck to touch him.

Sanghyuk stops grinning and takes a moment to think, then finally looks a little embarrassed. “I didn’t ask.” He admits and Hongbin barks a laugh, startling Marshmallow to a wake.

“How did you get her to go on a date with you? You can’t have talked much.” Hakyeon presses on before Jaehwan can speak up. Jaehwan’s milkshake lands on the counter beside him and he gives Taekwoon a loving look before taking a delicious sip. He hums happily at the taste and Taekwoon smiles at him fondly, hand touching Jaehwan’s neck for a moment, thumb stroking a few times and then slipping away again. The distraction makes Jaehwan miss the first half of Sanghyuk’s answer.

“-and then she thanked me for helping her and I just told her to thank me with a cup of coffee next Friday. And then she got all flustered and stuff, but then she said OK.”

Jaehwan quirks his brow in disbelief. “You asked her just like that?” He asks and Sanghyuk nods like it’s no big deal. What wouldn’t Jaehwan do for such confidence? He’s honestly a little impressed and he knows it’s apparent on his face as he gapes at the younger who is grinning again. Behind him he hears Taekwoon’s quiet chuckle and Hongbin’s shoulders are shaking from holding back his amusement. By the couch Hakyeon looks equally impressed, if not a little horrified, while Wonshik is completely unaffected. Seems Sanghyuk already told him, or he is just not surprised. He grew up with the kid, after all.

“You’re not making her pay, are you?” Jaehwan asks suspiciously. He wouldn’t put it past Sanghyuk to make her pay for him now that his mother has cut him off his pocket money for the time being.

If he was not already beaming, Sanghyuk lights up even more. “I get my first salary tomorrow.” He beams.

“Does that mean you’ll be paying me back for all the groceries I’ve been buying for you the past week?” Wonshik calls out and Sanghyuk throws him a quick frown, even though he can’t see him.

“I earned that money through sweat and hard work!” He exclaims and Taekwoon can’t keep quiet anymore; a sharp “Ha!” laugh escapes him and Jaehwan turns to look at him in amusement, but he’s already hiding behind the counter, crouching and covering his mouth with his hand. Jaehwan’s chest crumbles at the sight.

“That money is more precious than any money I’ve ever had.” Sanghyuk says seriously and Jaehwan can hear Wonshik’s sigh all the way over to the bar. He’s given up he realizes with a snicker and he turns to see Hakyeon patting his thigh comfortingly again, smiling at him with shining eyes.

“But yeah; of course I will pay for her, I’m not stupid.” Sanghyuk says curtly, almost sounding a little annoyed with them all. Hongbin nods at him in approval and that seems to light him up a little. They resume their conversation and Jaehwan’s mind floats back around to be with Taekwoon.

“Can I come with you home tonight?” He asks him when he obtains eye contact after waiting for a few moments for him to finish cleaning the blender he used to make the milkshake. He looks Jaehwan in the eyes and looks a little sad, a little frustration in them as well, but he nods and smiles.

“Of course.”

Jaehwan frowns at the look in his eyes and Taekwoon’s eyes flicker away. “What is it?” He asks him and Taekwoon thinks for several moments, sorting his words and feelings.

“It kind of feels like a goodbye, since classes are starting and we’re both going to be really busy.” He says quietly, but he looks Jaehwan in the eyes as he speaks and there’s true worry in his furrowed brows. His eyes speak of sadness and Jaehwan wants to reach out and take it away. He tries to smile at him in an assuring way, but it ends up halfhearted. He’s worried too. Scared even.

“I’m going to miss you every moment I can’t be with you.” Jaehwan admits and his eyes threaten to water up so he blinks quickly to chase it away. Taekwoon’s hand comes out and rests on top of Jaehwan’s on the counter.

“Me too.” He says sadly, his voice a little rough.

“We have to make an effort to meet whenever we can, okay?” Jaehwan says and Taekwoon’s hand grips harder around his.

“That won’t be a problem.” He answers clearly and his eyes look more resolved. “This isn’t a goodbye.” He adds and Jaehwan smiles at him, his worries feeling a little lighter in his chest.

“Exactly.” Jaehwan answers with a smile and Taekwoon leans in and gives him a quick kiss on the lips, ignoring the possible eyes on them. When he pulls away he keeps his face close and looks Jaehwan in the eyes seriously.

“I love you.” He says for the second time ever and Jaehwan’s chest seems to implode, taking his breath away. He’s not used to the impact of the words yet and hopes he never will be – that he will always feel infinite when he hears those words leave Taekwoon’s lips as he looks at Jaehwan as if he’s the only one in the world.


End file.
